Signese

Yet another snap from that never-ended fountain of Signese resources, 鼓楼东大街. Give it another month and it'll no longer be necessary for tourists to visit the street, they'll be able to simply flick rapidly through these photos for the full experience.

What has the shop done?

PS And yes, I did dodgily photoshop out the English. Ha!

Now I know you've all been looking forward to this supermarket advert, recently featured on seat backs on the 113 bus during the month of June. Unfortunately the promotions advertised have now ended, so don't go rushing down to Carrefour demanding your goodies - but no need to be disappointed, we're going to have just as much fun as cheap toilet paper right here:

1) How many measure words can you find

2) Match each measure word up to a noun. Or object. Or something. You know what I mean.

3) You need to buy ballast for your hot air balloon. Which is cheaper, yogurt or toilet paper.

Anyone who can think of better questions can add them in the comments.

As promised earlier in the week, here's the 韩寒 advert for Vancl. Your quiz:

1) What is 大排挡?

2) Which of the two adverts is the more nauseating?

3) Are you looking forward to the excellent supermarket ad I've got lined up for early next week?

Having no access to the signese company car I wandered on foot today and saw this banner on a reclamation site. I like the slogan, but really it is the Chinese name of the company that I found most interesting (just that I had not heard of it before).

Hi.

Roddy lent me the keys to the Signese company car (a black VW Santana) and is letting me take it for a spin. While eyeing the sidewalk for a place to park, I noticed this sign.

Can I park on the sidewalk between the guy selling socks and the woman frying hotdogs? If the Signese company car was instead a cart pulled by an emaciated mule, could I still park there? Please briefly explain.

What is line 2 encouraging me to do?

Who created the sign? And where are they located?

We have here today a bus-stop ad for cheapo online clothing store Vankl, which I've never used as I read the reviews and it sounded a bit rubbish.

I can't think of many questions. Find the two TV show references, and then memorize this little speech and practice it in the mirror. And if you can't understand anything, ask in the comments.

I've also got another version of the ad with (if I remember correctly) novelist-racing-driver 韩寒. To follow, no doubt.

A chalked request snapped on 育群胡同， home of one of my favourite restaurants. Fortunately it didn't spoil my appetite.

1) To whom is the message written

2) What activity is discouraged

Oh, and there are a lot more people opening the picture than posting - come on, leave a comment even if it's just to say it's too hard. Validate my efforts . . .

I took this picture a couple of weeks ago in Milan. The business of the salon, which was next to an exit of the Porta Romana subway station, was really good. And you know why I took the picture, don't you?

From a local shop.

1) What World Cup memorabilia is on sale?

2) Which character did I misread as 罩 when first walking past and what did I think was for sale as a consequence?

3) For extra credit, figure out what a 米米卡 is. I have no idea.

Ultra-quick one, and should be pretty easy - even if you don't know the vocabulary the characters are simple enough to look up I think. What type of vehicle can turn left?

Another contribution from our aquatic correspondent, Dean A Swanson, who earlier provided us with this contribution and has now brought us more riverside rules.

So your questions, again provided by Dean, are:

1) There's something fishy going on here. Actually, a couple of things. What are they?

2) Which of the two things is considered "good"; which is considered "bad"? Why?

I snapped this one as the usage of 勿搞 caught my eye.

Of the six rules, which

a) prevents you making some pocket money selling ice cream?

B) prevents a picnic on the grass (to be honest I don't actually recall there being any grass . . )

c) might require you to take out your wallet

d) puts a damper on your bicycle polo plans

Here we have both sides of the tabletop menu from popular (with me, at least) local eatery 零点. You've got a selection of cold dishes on one side, and on the other various noodle and 抄手 options - which as far as I can see are 馄饨 by another name.

I'm generously providing you with a 15Y lunch budget - what are you having?

Just in case anyone happened to be passing.

1) Which two vehicles were involved?

2) Who was injured?

3) Who should witnesses contact?

Just a quickie for this warning on a wall - I don't think I'd seen the usage of 不听者 before, and I felt sorry for the poor little 果, forgotten and then squeezed in as an afterthought like that . . .

One for gluttons today - an opportunity to drool over some (admittedly small) images of delicious Beijing 小吃. The street-side menu lists nine scrumptious snacks, all you have to do is match them up with the thumbnail images I robbed off the Internet. Assume the menu is numbered 1 to 9 left to right, so if you think the first one is Snack B, you have 1. B. etc.

A bit of a hint:

and a lot of a hint for those who can't be bothered looking up the characters the hard way:

I had to cheat slightly on one of the images - I'm sure you'll forgive me. The letters for each image are in the filename, mouseover to see it.

Another user-contributed photo today, from edelweis, bring us an idyllic scene from Yong'an Lu in Changping, Beijing (I'm assuming that's the 永安路 it is, correct me if incorrect.)

If you'd like a couple of questions to engage with . .

a) What are your dining options on this particular stretch of thoroughfare, and what will you personally be choosing?

B) You need to get your mobile phone fixed, book a train ticket, and buy a pair of shoes. Can you do this all here?

The exhibition was very good/impressive (I don't always like comtemporary arts), and has been held in different museums in the world, like the

I have posted these two on the original signese.com website. But because roddy lets me post here I am posting them (being quite recent, really) here again.

One was taken at the border crossing point at Huanggang, the other at a metro station in Hong Kong.

Another user-contributed photo this time, from Dean A. Swanson.

This was snapped from the 919 bus on the outskirts of Beijing suburb Shunyi. Dean has helpfully provided a few questions for you to consider, thus saving me the bother.

If anyone else has anything they want to contribute, attach it to a private message or email (admin@...) and hopefully we'll be able to use it. Regular contributors can, if they want, be set up to post directly to the blog.

With no further ado:

1. Why is this river important?
   
2. What are the three activities listed?
   
3. Are you allowed to do them?
   

Just a quickie for this one kindly sent in by Gato, of a supermarket on Nanjing Road, Shanghai. We can only assume that they have no trouble making change.

Don't have anything ideal for the quiz format handy, so I'm just putting up a few random signs I've snapped over the last week or two. Feel free to come up with your own questions, or just do your best do decipher them with your dictionaries, wits and elite Chinese skills. Or translate them. Or have them tattooed on your upper arm.

It's quite common to see adverts offering various illegal services and opportunities to be scammed plastered on bus stops and elsewhere around the city. They get taken down fairly regularly, but put back up just as soon.

Common examples are offers to provide various types of certification (ID cards, degree certificates, whatever) or high paying work in hotels and karaoke joints. The end result no doubt varies, but you can probably expect to end up poorer, and quite possibly a sex worker.

This particular version is new to me, so obviously I took a photo and scampered home to phone Li Xiang's lawyers put up a blog post about it.

1) Who is Li Xiang married to, and where does she reside?

2) What situation does she wish to avoid?

3) And to this end she is looking to find a man to do what with? Will this take place in Hong Kong, or elsewhere?

4) What do you think will end up happening to the unwitting victim, who to be honest probably deserves everything he gets.

This is a hand-writing chalked advert for a more or less medical service - how many different ailments and diseases can you identify, and which part of the body are they associated with. Good luck though, there are parts of this one I've given up on figuring out . . .

Moving away from the photographic today, we have a mere fifteen seconds or so of audio for you, recorded for you in the entirely authentic setting of Beijing's 107 bus.

Some questions to keep you interested . . .

1) What should all passengers do as the bus starts off?

2) Where should recently boarded passengers go?

3) What two forms of payment are mentioned, and what are the associated verbs?

4) Given that this is the east-bound 107 bus, we're in Beijing, and you have access to the Internet - what stop did you get on at?