looking for comic monologue

[randall_flagg]

I can’t dance, I can’t sing the only thing about me is the way that I ....

Never mind, this song just popped into my head.

My school wants me to take part a 演出比赛。But I can’t dace or sing or anything like that. I do feel comfortable on stage and I would love to do a comic monologue, one that people would know? Like from a movie? Or a famous xiangsheng? Or anything else a person with no artistic talent (besides a little acting, maybe) could do to amuse others. If you could help me out, I would be most grateful!

Thanks,

Randall

[heifeng]

http://mp3.leetee.com/musicword/c9/s880/18973.html

Do this one and act both parts, I'm sure you're teachers will love it..hehehehe!

[imron]

You might also consider some of the stuff by 大山. He used to have a sample of stuff to download from his webpage. I can't find the links on the main page anymore, but a quick search reveals the files are still on the server.

Two I quite like are:

胡不字

周润发

Both are comic monologues, though the first one is quite long so I'm not sure if it would be that suitable (depends on how much time you've got to learn/practise). If nothing else though, it's worth listening to, for a laugh or two.

[randall_flagg]

Nice! Thanks! And doing both parts sounds a lot funnier than just reciting a monologue. Great! Anyone have transcripts for the Dasha one? Not only just in case I don't understand something, but its just that much easier to memorize when I have something in hand.

Also: any other ones that you think are truly funny?

[imron]

Can't help with the transcripts unfortunately, however, what better way to drum it into your head than trying to transcribe it youself