怎样做父亲 / How to be a father?

[studentyoung]

怎样做父亲

How to be a father?

2006年11月06日

November, 06, 2006

来源：广州日报

Source: Guangzhou Daily

http://gzdaily.dayoo.com/html/2006-11/06/content_17086050.htm

作者：王凌宇

Writer: Mr Wang, Lingyu

(translated by studentyoung)

　 妻子的侄子上初二了，眼看着就要考高中，暑假和父母一起从老家来广州看我们。小小年纪的他带着一个厚厚的近视镜，完全没有了小时候的调皮和好动。聊天中得知，他每天早上7时出门上学，晚上7时才能归家，匆匆吃过晚饭，又得做作业，总要忙到深夜，才能上床。我同他讲到我的童年和少年，他很是神往。

My wife’s nephew is a junior middle school student, in grade two, and soon he will face up to exams to entrance high school. He and his parents came visit us from his hometown to Guangzhou. In his young age, he wears a pair of thick glasses, no more mischief and activity in his childhood. While chatting, I learned that he goes to school at 7:00 in morning and come back home at 7:00 at night. After supper is done in a hurry, he has to do his homework till midnight, and then goes to bed. When I was talking about my childhood and youth to him, he admired me so much.

我小时候很苦，但是很快乐。生活在农村的我没有好吃的，没有好穿的，但是有好玩的。我有很多小伙伴，我们爬树捉乌鸦，下河去游泳，上山采蘑菇；夜里同邻村孩子两军对垒打仗，有时还会悄悄钻进西瓜地里大饱口福。正月十三晚上，我们会摸黑偷别人家蔬菜煮年粑吃，那是我们老家最古怪最浪漫的乡俗。据说正月十三是贼的节日，大人小孩都兴冲冲地当回贼，图个好玩。那天晚上谁家蔬菜被偷了，也不会生气。

Life was bitter but sweet in my childhood. Living in countryside, I didn’t eat well or dress well, but played well. I had a lot of pals, and we climbed up tresses to catch crow, swam in rivers, picked mushrooms on hills, playing war games with other children in the same village or from neighbor villages, and even crept into water melon land to get our stomached loaded. At the night of the thirteenth day of January in the lunar calendar, we would go to steal others’ vegetables under the cover of night, which is the oddest while the most romantic customs in our area. It is said that the thirteenth day of January in the lunar calendar is the thief’s day, so everyone, old and young, gets so excited to be a thief at a time, just for fun. At that night, nobody will get angry if his vegetables got stolen.

　　我禁不住感慨，连贼都有节日的，可现在的孩子没有。他们有做不完的作业，有没完没了的考试！我们这些现代人没有耐心等待孩子慢慢长大，我们不允许孩子自由成长，我们不给孩子失败的机会，我们不切实际地希望孩子总是最好的，我们用自己的梦想取代孩子的理想，我们甚至不让孩子有自己的向往。我们没想过孩子还是童年或少年，就急切地把很多大而不当的成人智慧塞给孩子。我们忘记了自己也有过童真和顽劣，过早地要孩子为未来预支烦恼。我们把未来描述成地狱，告诫孩子练就十八般武艺应付劫难。我们也许因为自己卑微而饱受冷遇，便想把孩子培养成高贵的人又去轻贱别人的卑微。我们对孩子的爱心不容怀疑，但也许我们只是把孩子当作资本在经营，希望获取高额回报。

I could help signing gloomily: Even a thief has a festival like this, but kids nowadays have none. All they have is just endless homework and exams! We modern people have no patience to wait for kids growing up slowly; we don’t allow kids to grow up freely, we don’t give them any chance to fail; we impractically expect that our kids are the best; we enforce our dreams to kids; we even don’t let kids have their own desires. We haven’t cared about they are still in their childhood or youth, and we are so urgent to stuff a lot of grandiose but improper adult’s ideas to them. We have forgotten that we once had our own childlike innocence and mischief, while asking kids to worry about troubles in their future. We describe their future as a hell and warn them to arm to the teeth for their horrible fate. Maybe, we once got cold shoulders because of our lowliness, therefore, we want to train our kids to be the honorable ones, so that they can give cold shoulders to others. No question to our love to our kids, however, perhaps we just take our kids as capitals in business world and hope to get high profits on them.

　　有人对中日儿童做过对比调查。很多日本儿童说长大后想当名出色的工程师、教师、会计师甚至服装设计师、理发师；而我们中国孩子志向大得很，希望自己长大后成为市长、总经理或科学家。但毕竟更多的人会成为普通劳动者，当市长和总经理的只能是少数。那么，我们在向孩子灌输美好希望的时候，其实早就为他们预备好了失望。于是更多的孩子便只能带着失望走向社会，他们也许终生都摆脱不了盘旋在头顶的劣等公民的阴影。可是我们又不得不这样教育孩子：没有好的学业，就上不了好的大学，就不可能出人头地。

Some surveys on Chinese and Japanese kids have show that many Japanese kids say that they want to be excellent engineer, teacher, accountant, and even fashion designer, hair-dresser; while our Chinese kids have great ambitions, they hope to be mayor, general manager or scientist. Of course, more will become common laborer, because only few can be mayor or general manager. So, can we say that we give them attractive hopes, but have been preparing for their disappointment from beginning? And then, more children must go to society with their disappointment, and they might not have got rid of the shadow of a low-grade citizen, which has been hovering over their heads. Yet, we have to teach our kid like this, “Without learning well, you can’t go to famous universities and then make yourself a name. …”

　　我们担心孩子遭遇的将是更激烈的生存竞争。我很想问问妻的侄子：你快乐吗？可是我不敢问。我刚刚做了父亲，有一个可爱的儿子，我希望我的儿子像野草一样自己去长，却又怕他真的成了野草，被人踩在脚下。

We worry about our kids’ future will be a harder competitive business for survival. I am dying to ask my wife’s nephew whether he feels happy, but I dare not. I have just been a father of a lovely baby boy. I hope my son can grow up freely like wild grass, meanwhile I am so afraid that he might be trodden flat on the ground.

我困惑，我不知道怎样做父亲！

I am at lost. Don’t know how to be a father!

[heifeng]

Interesting article. Indeed, a tough question.

A random translation thought (which I was reminded by in this article, so this is not a comment on the translation itself, just a small topic for discussion), it seems like the term "famous university" is often seen in Chinese to English translations. In other English speaking parts of the world (b/c I can only speak from my American point of view) would you ever say this? Other adjectives that come to mind for a university would be renown, prestigious, outstanding, or even well-known, but famous, in my opinion is reserved for celebrities and such....(in fact (as I rant on) everytime I hear this I can just imagine someone bragging about how famous the university is that their son or daughter goes to, and that it's so good b/c it's famous, not because it's a good school....ok shall now stop ranting now...)

At the moment, I can't go through the whole article, but the sentence that stood out the most to me was the following:

I have just been a father of a lovely boy.

This sentence has issues. Maybe you want to change 'been a' to become the, or become a father to a (baby) boy....I, myself, have recently become the father to a lovely baby boy. Maybe this is clearer, hmmm, maybe not, just a thought =D

[studentyoung]

Interesting article. Indeed, a tough question.

当然啦，男人就是——难人啊！

This sentence has issues. Maybe you want to change 'been a' to become the, or become a father to a (baby) boy....I, myself, have recently become the father to a lovely baby boy. Maybe this is clearer, hmmm, maybe not, just a thought =D

Ah, thank you, heifeng, for pointing it out. I have modified my text. Hehe!

Thanks!