Offering condolences

[rose~]

My friend told me over the phone that her Grandmother has passed away. I couldn't think of anything that seemed right to say so I had to switch into English.

What would have been a standard thing to say?

[skylee]

I think the most standard thing to say is (請)節哀順變. But I wouldn't say it to a friend as it sounds so standard and uncaring. I think I would simply say 你還好吧？ / 不要太傷心 / 需要我幫忙嗎? etc.

[neverbt]

请节哀，节哀顺便.

[rose~]

Thanks for the advice, Neverbt and Skylee.

It's interesting to see how differently we approach the situation between Europe and China especially regarding the expression 節哀順變 jie ai shun bian. In Europe it would be unacceptable to tell your friend to control their grief and move on smoothly (which seems to sounds like simply saying "get over it"!), so I agree with Skylee.