Crazy jobs, or paid experiences people have had in China like impersonating someone.

[simonlaing]

Hey people,

I jsut finished reading the post on the importing of cars and it made me think of certain crazy jobs or experiences (espicially white westerners just there cause of their VIP skin card) that people have had in China.

I think there must be a few of them. Let me start you off with the story of my imperonation of an airconditioner representative in Shanghai. I was teaching in Nanjing and was asked by the girlfriend of this translation company that I was doing part time proof-reading work. It was my second year in China and I had good get by Chinese but not much better than that. We met twice in Nanjing before I had to go about 5 days after they first contacted me. The first was an interview, the second a dinner where they gave me some fake no prescription clark kent glasses to make me look older. When I met van at the university, the girl-friend who spoke some english said just follow these guys and they will tell you what to do and here's the speech you're going to give tomorrow.

I was skeptical but up for the experience. When we arrived at the Shanghai 3-star no name hotel, they checked in an ushered me up to my room. It was the first time I didn't have to use my passport to register at a hotel. They gave me the other materials about the company and 2 boxs of expensive cigarettes. I looked at the typo-ridden repetitive ridiculous speech they had given me and realized they had mistranslated their company motto which was also on the seal of their company. I spent the night editing the speech to something at least grammatically plausible. We had Chinese fast food for dinner and breakfast the next day. They smartly took me to a place with pictures on the menu and I had beef noodles and made basic, basic small talk. The told me I was supposed to be an american representative who had come from the US just for this presentation which marked a joint venture and investment of x million dollars in China. Since they want me to avoid giving myself away, they told once at the conference not to speak any Chinese other wise the jig would be up.

At the conference I walk by a french and russian girls giving people the program and introduction packet on the company. I am shown into the VIP room next to the main auditorium. As I wait there with my non-english speaker minder the mayor of shanghai comes in with the Deputy mayor and some deputy party secretary. We shake hands and exchange 2 cigarettes . They have the same brand as me. We then sit and chat. The mayor speaks very good english and asks normal questions. I do my best to handle it well " Well the flight was fine. I am impressed by Shanghai architecture." We also light each other's cigarettes which I puff once and leave to burn itself out. After an eternity which was probably just 20 minutes we file into the auditorium. The presentation begins and people give their chinese speech of how happy they are to make this joint venture. Then it is my turn up at the podium. I put on my fake glasses and glance out at the crowd of over 100 people. I am glad to have edited the speech as there are several cameras and 4 or 5 western journalists along with the 20 chinese journalists that have come for it.

It ends and we go to dinner in the room next door and again I am the guest of honor and placed next to the mayor. I was told that I would be able to excuse myself and not go the dinner but I play it cool and follow the program. (To tell me things the minder has to take me outside to talk in Chinese and gestures for me to understand bec/ they don't want to let people to know I can speak some chinese. ) At dinner I make faux pas responses, "what do you plan on doing in Shanghai?" "Visit a couple of friends" . And the minder 3 minutes later figures out what I said and corrects me saying oh no he has no friends in Shanghai. Though there were pictures with me and mayor and camras previously, fortunately at dinner there are none. In the middle of dinner I excuse myself and talk to the organiser in the hall. He gives me my paltry 800 yuan (I didn't bargain well and don't know what fake representatives make) and says you can stay in the hotel one more night for free but they are going back to nanjing that night. I grab a taxi to go meet my friend Julian. The door girls I found out got 600 yuan a piece. Later they contact me to see if I want to do it again. I decline but refer my British Suzhou friend who takes a dozen or so trips around Anhui and Zhejiang giving speechs to people and eating dinners with VIPs. I still have the glasses.

Anyway, I was a bar manager at one time and friend of two pimps but not so many strange things happen to me and those are other stories. Can you guys share your interesting job experiences?

have fun,

Simon:)

[Xiao Kui]

I have posed as an investor in a fancy kindergarten at a meeting for a bank loan, and the owner of an import company while visiting a factory with some Chinese. Actually in these 2 cases these people actually did exist, they were just not physically present in China, and I didn't know what was going on until it was already in progress, when I was suddenly asked not to speak by the Chinese people I was with.

I met another foreigner who said the best gig he ever had in China was posing as a chef in a fancy restaurant - he had to wear a chef's hat and uniform and walk around the buffet smiling and telling people what was in the food if they asked. he spoke Chinese fluently but by his own admission didn't really know how to cook.

I think most foreigners have been on TV or asked to be on TV for commercials, soap operas, local variety shows, etc. This should be an interesting thread.

[heifeng]

I was one of the 欢迎光临girls at a internet cafe in Shanghai for a week when I first came to China a few years ago.

Perks: Free T-shirt, food, intenet access and chatting with the staff for 95% of the time while standing in the doorway (of course chatting in Chinese, otherwise why do this!).

[gougou]

I am shocked that there are this many foreigners that actively obstruct China's development to a law-abiding society...

[Ding Yiyi]

gougou, I'd say you're being a little sensitive, I can't imagine that there would be a law that states that you must be who you say you are, in fact I wouldn't be surprised to hear things like this going on in the US with Japanese or Chinese people pretending that they can't speak English for a fee. I might say this is slightly unethical, but it isn't illegal, and also I would say that it isn't so unethical that it should be illegal, just humorous.

[gougou]

I can't imagine that there would be a law that states that you must be who you say you are

So I'm sure you don't mind if I sign a few contracts in your name?

[roddy]

Sorry, but the 'pretending to be an investor' thing is dubious at best, and it's not hard to see how it could be a part of out and out fraud. Have been asked to do similar things a couple of times, wouldn't touch them with a bargepole. What they're telling you might make it sound relatively legit, but they're obviously willing to deceive the people you are being presented to and are quite possibly doing exactly the same to you.

That said, I tend to object quite strongly to anything of that nature - once really annoyed a company I was working for by refusing to "sit quietly and not say anything" while an interview with the boss was being recorded. Oh, and there was the time the school I was teaching at decided they didn't need me to do the newspaper interview after they saw a list of things I wanted to discuss . . .

However, I think I might like the chef job, and will offer Heifeng a free t-shirt (well-worn, small hole on back of left shoulder.) if she sends a 欢迎光临 email to all new members.

I can't imagine that there would be a law that states that you must be who you say you are, in fact I wouldn't be surprised to hear things like this going on in the US with Japanese or Chinese people pretending that they can't speak English for a fee.

Can you imagine there might be one about deception for financial gain?

[zhwj]

Like Xiao Kui mentions, in some of the experiences I've heard people describe, they were unaware of how far the deception was intended to go until well into the process. There's a definite difference between agreeing to be a token foreigner at a fishing competition - going along for the ride, as it were - and finding out later that you are actually being promoted as an international-level fisherman who just arrived in the country and who doesn't know any Chinese at all, and you're stuck in the wilderness of some far-off province.

To make a positive contribution to this thread, this is an interesting bit about someone's experience playing a "foreign inventor" on a Chinese infomercial.

[mpallard]

It's strange that you're so proud of participating in what is basically some sort of scam. Great job dude.

[roddy]

Like Xiao Kui mentions, in some of the experiences I've heard people describe, they were unaware of how far the deception was intended to go until well into the process.

Yeah, it's easy to see how someone could get steam-rollered into it - "We'd like to take you on a trip . . . . .oh, but we have to go to one meeting, won't take long, you can come too . . . yes, sit there while we tell all these people how they can double their money . . ." - but any more than once?

[simonlaing]

To gou gou and nay sayyers this is what makes china so cool that there are opportuinities that would never be contemplated in the US or other places.

Also I was a spokesperson, and just gave a speech. I didn't sign any contracts or say my false name when is was introduced to people. Plus at the time I saw it as practice as I wanted to work in the embassy, but now it doesn't seem as interesting as before.

One other cool thing that happenned was that I was interviewed about a famous actress wearing a T-shirt that said hustler on the local nanjing channel 18 channel. It was great, I talked about the whore meaning, pool player hustler and what reaction western people would have to seeing someone wearing the T shirt. It was the second time I was on local TV the first was a bit on my learn english while playing Baseball club. Afterwards I got a bunch of new players come play. And I didn't get any money but did upon request get a VCD version of it.

It was cool. About hte huangying guanling girls, I would like to know if anybody was an escort for a business man. (You know they often take their hot secretaries to dinner for the competition of who secretary is the hotest.)

Anybody else have fun TV experiences other than speaking chinese competitions?

have fun,

SimoN:)

[roddy]

To gou gou and nay sayyers this is what makes china so cool that there are opportuinities that would never be contemplated in the US or other places.

Totally. The UK and US would be way cooler if random people were presented to Ken Livingstone and Michael Bloomberg masquerading as multi-million dollar investors.

Plus at the time I saw it as practice as I wanted to work in the embassy . .

As what? A member of the Impossible Mission Force?

So this guy you were meant to be - did he really exist? Did the company he was meant to be from exist? Did the investment exist?

[Jamoldo]

Oh relax, plenty of this kind of bssing happens in the US and UK and other places. Maybe not giving speeches (though it would not surprise me), but other things. Ever hear about stock analysts and their picks? Usually they're 24 year olds fresh out of a BA who crunch some numbers and say something. Yet this stuff makes the news, and that affects millions/billions of dollars invested daily. Plenty of people put on shows at meetings and pretend to be things they aren't. It's just more blatent in China.

As for working in the embassy, it probably requires some dirty work like this, all politics and international relations jobs do...

Does any of this mean I really agree with what the original poster did/said? No, but I did think it was funny and pictured myself doing it too... I just don't think it's too big a deal.

[ziyi star]

what crazy jobs! i don't know if i would be able to impersonate someone in front of a deputy or any other important person.

i woulb be frightened to be caught out...

[imron]

To gou gou and nay sayyers this is what makes china so cool that there are opportuinities that would never be contemplated in the US or other places.

Damn the west and all of our crazy fraud laws

[roddy]

Oh relax, plenty of this kind of bssing happens in the US and UK and other places.

I wouldn't want to do it there either.

Don't get me wrong, I'm sure a lot - probably most - of the time stuff like this is fairly innocuous. But there's absolutely no way I'd want to work for a bunch of people who are saying 'hey, help us fool these people' because I would trust them even less than I would any other random business acquaintance. And pretending to be something you aren't is one thing. Pretending to be someone you aren't?

Possible example. Chinese company wants to get investment and local government support for some project, but knows it isn't credible enough to do so on its own merits. So they invent a story about massive 'foreign investment' and find some hard up TEFL teacher to take "a dozen or so trips around Anhui and Zhejiang giving speechs to people and eating dinners with VIPs" Perhaps unlikely, but not out of the ball park.

I'm not saying that's what actually happened with any of the people on here - but would you have known?

[simonlaing]

Of course you have to be careful. But the main reason for these situations is for face. Apart from avoiding tax on imported cars having a westernner doesn't really help other than to aid the image of the company.

Sort of like models at a car show, every one know the car doesn't come with the model included but it helps the presentation. Or perhaps firecrackers outside a new shop. Or spending money on decoration of your office, or on a webpage. You get the point.

Nobody from the air-conditioning US office wanted to come out so they hired a temp spokes person me.

It wouldn't work for Joint Ventures either as the money has to come from a foreing bank directly to the Chinese bank account to qualify. Chinese people still read the fine print on contracts....

Anyone here recruited to be a part of a Band or DJ a club? I found that it was easy as there were many opportuinities to do cool stuff.

If these things aren't hurting anyone, just giving some people face, what's the harm?

have fun,

SimoN:)

[bianfuxia]

Simonlaing, I wonder if your parents put their retirement savings into an investment that turned out to be a scam (and what legitimate business would recruit language students or teachers to pretend to be foreign experts?), whether you'd think differently?

It is a funny story, no doubt, but remember that at the other end of it there are real people who may not be able to afford the potential losses they might incur. It's entirely different to the example about stock analysts. At least when they are on TV spruiking their rubbish, they are actually the representatives of a real firm (at least in the west, on the "serious" finance programs).

As for this:

I can't imagine that there would be a law that states that you must be who you say you are, in fact I wouldn't be surprised to hear things like this going on in the US with Japanese or Chinese people pretending that they can't speak English for a fee. I might say this is slightly unethical, but it isn't illegal,

I'm a lawyer, though not an expert on Chinese law. But I can say with reasonable certainty that this kind of conduct breaches most Western countries' laws on:

. false advertising and/or misleading advertising

. deceptive conduct in commerce and trade

. a whole raft of commercial law (covering the way investment is raised and what information must be provided etc)

or, more seriously

. fraud (which can be criminal - ie leading to jail time).

If it were a criminal case, you could be an accessory. If it was a civil case, you could at least be made a co-defendant.

We're in China, you might well say. But remember, China actually has some pretty modern laws, based on Western commercial law. They may not enforce it. But on the other hand, they might. Crackdowns happen all the time.

But the real point is that if you wouldn't be cool with the idea that someone else did this as part of something your parents invested in, or you wouldn't be cool with doing it in your own country, then why would you do it here? Chinese investors are people too, they aren't all stinking rich, and pretty much everyone agrees that corruption is one of the major obstacles to continued economic growth in China, particularly in the context of bringing the other 800 million still-very-poor Chinese up to a better standard of living. Why contribute to that corruption?

So honestly, I can't really see much in favour of doing this. Showing up as a token white face at a conference is no big deal, but getting up on stage and acting the part of an expert from the US or Europe solely in order to encourage people to invest money in a proposal which by your very presence you are confirming is not all it claims to be seems to me to be quite a bit different.

Finally, I used to recruit for my country's foreign service and let me tell you, if you still pursue that career and make it to interview, don't mention this as an example of either your representation experience, or your judgment.

[yonitabonita]

Impersonation jobs make for good stories, are easy money, and make life a little less ordinary. I couldn't honestly say that a part of me doesn't think it sounds like a whole lot of fun.

That said, on balance, I reckon I'd forego the opportunity for the momentary fun and the good dinner party story if I were in a position to do so. (moot since I'm not white) Mainly because I'd not want to contribute to any activities that encourage lawlessness in this country. Bring on the violins, but I'd like to think I might contribute to a better China by not being a part of its problems.

Whether you sign a contract, make a verbal representation, engage in any activities that might make you personally liable for civil actions, criminal actions, etc etc doesn't really get to the heart of the issue in my mind. (Though as a lawyer I think that Bianfuxia's post is spot on)

The issue is whether you'd want to contribute to a system of perpetuating bullshit. Even if you're just there for show on a face giving mission, and no one gets hurt directly, you're still contributing to an overall practice of misrepresentation which is damaging to Chinese society as a whole.

Y

[gougou]

I couldn't honestly say that a part of me doesn't think it sounds like a whole lot of fun.

I think so too. But it's what I thought of Casino Royale, too, and still I don't go round blowing up embassies...

Yet.