Correct my grammar (please)

[SeekerOfPeace]

Ok, this is a follow up to a previous thread.

I basically asked if people would assist me with my grammar (which is horrendous at the time).

Here's a short e-mail I wrote to one of my much loved student.

你好吗？

我好，谢谢。

我完成你的礼物，但是我不要有机。因为我有恐惧你的礼物失去！



我决定我给你什么时候我看你在中国。



好的？

你的老师。

My student told me I made some mistakes.

Please help me, I really want to learn.

[Koneko]

Perhaps this is better,

你好吗？我很好，谢谢。

我已完成你的礼物，但我不要你的錢。

因为我有擔心你的礼物會掉失！

我决定的時候才告訴你什么时候到中国﹐好嗎？

你的老师

I have amended your errors but I think the sentence structures are a bit funny.

Maybe it's easier for us to help you if you could tell us the original message in English.

K.

[wai ming]

但是我不要有机

I'm guessing this was meant to mean "I don't want to post it"?

(邮局 vs 有机?)

I'd probably say "但是我不想把它寄给你“。

因为我有恐惧你的礼物失去！

I'd probably say "因为我怕它会给人弄丢了”。

Anyway, just some suggestions - and I'm not a native speaker.

[Koneko]

I'm guessing this was meant to mean "I don't want to post it"?

(邮局 vs 有机?)

Eureka! It should be 邮寄!

K.

[Aweni]

hello，SeekerOfPeace

你好吗？

我很好,谢谢!

我完成你的礼物，但是我不要有机。因为我有恐惧你的礼物失去！

(送给)你的礼物我已经挑选好了，(i think you have chosen a present for your student?)

但是我不打算邮寄，因为我担心邮寄的话会把礼物寄失了。

我决定我给你什么时候我看你在中国

我决定我去中国探望你的时候再(送)给你吧。

好的？

好吗？or 可以吗？

你的老师

[SeekerOfPeace]

Wow!

Thanks so much for the feedback.

What I would really appreciate if you good folks would explain to me how my syntax is wrong or why my sentences sound funny.

I would like to understand how my structure is faulty rather than what the correct way is (although this is also important! :-))

I'll write what the original post in English was soon.

SoP.

[HashiriKata]

Maybe it's easier for us to help you if you could tell us the original message in English.

As you wish, here's the original message in English:

How are you? I'm fine, thanks.

I've got the present for you but I'm not going to send it through the post, because I fear that it may get lost.

I've decided to give it to you when I see you in China

Is this ok?

(你好吗？我好，谢谢。

我完成你的礼物，但是我不要有机。因为我有恐惧你的礼物失去！

我决定我给你什么时候我看你在中国。

好的？)

[SeekerOfPeace]

Yeah, that's exactly what the message in English was!

[Koneko]

He he... Very funny.

Actually, I thought it would be easier if SeekerOfPeace could provide the English version right after the Chinese version.

K.

[Aweni]

SeekerOfPeace

one of your faulty structures

我决定我给你什么时候我看你在中国

I've decided to give it to you when I see you in China

i thik you literally translated english into chinese that the word order is not correct.

"when" means "什么时候" and"在(当)...的时候", in your sentence it should be "在...的时候"

"在中国" you put this in front, for example "i study chinese in china" in chinese it should be "我在中国学汉语",not "我学汉语在中国"，you know the difference of the word order?

you go to china that u give the present to your student, then in chinese we say "(在)去中国探望(看)你的时候给你(礼物)".

by the way "恐惧" i think it is too serious, actually you just feel worried about the present may get lost through posting,not "恐惧" enough,and "恐惧" here more like a noun,not a verb.then "担心" or "恐怕" is better.

and when i saw "有机"(you3ji1) ,i thought of "organic""organism",it is completley different from"post""邮寄"(you2ji4), though the pinyin is same,the tones are different!

i think this is why it is funny of your sentences.

perhaps i didnt explain clearly,hope that helps!

[HashiriKata]

I think Aweni has done a good job in explaining your grammar, so I'll only tie up some minor ends:

1. 我好，谢谢。

Before an adjective (sometimes verb), Chinese often sounds better with 很 (=very). Therefore: 我很好，谢谢。 (Note that 很 here is added only for the sound, and it doesn't have to mean "very"!)

2. "When" means "什么时候" only when the word is a question word, such as: "When can I see you?". "When" in your sentence is not a question word, it simply means "the time" (= 时候), so be aware of this when you translate it into a non-related language.

3. 好的？

"的" is here added to give a stronger affirmation, it's therefore not compatible with a question, which is by definition the opposite. Take note of the punctuations below, which illustrate what I'm saying:

好的 !

好吗？

[SeekerOfPeace]

Aweni

This is exactly what I did.

So basically you're saying that whenever I use Chinese, I mention the time of my action first (where it applies).

Do I understand correctly?

For instance if I wanted to say in English:

"I saw her yesterday"

the Chinese equivalent would be

"Yesterday, I saw her"

Correct?

I'm a bit tired right now so I think I'll just check everything one more time tomorrow, but I am under the impression that 给你seems to come at the end of most sentences where it's used, but I might be wrong.

As for "post" you're right, this is really silly. The thing is I use a dictionary and sometimes I am inaccurate in my choice of words.

But I think I got most of what you said. I'll put in into practice soon...

Hashiri

THANKS for finally helping me solve as to why I always have to say 很 when I'm in China even when I don't actually feel VERY good. Hehe!

"When":

That's really interesting, thanks for pointing me in the right direction on that one.

Yay, I'm learning.

Ok, I'm off for now.

Etienne (aka SoP)

[Aweni]

So basically you're saying that whenever I use Chinese, I mention the time of my action first (where it applies).

yes,exactly.

and here take notice "The Word Order Comparison between English and Chinese":

English：主语(subject)+谓语(predicate)+宾语(object)+方式状语(adverbial of manner)+地点状语(adverbial of place)+时间状语(adverbial of time)

I read Chinese loudly in the open every morning

Chinese:主语(subject)+时间状语(adverbial of time)+地点状语(adverbial of place)+方式状语(adverbial of manner)+谓语(predicate)+宾语(object)

我每天早上在室外高声朗读汉语

[SeekerOfPeace]

Wow, that's surprisingly simple for Chinese hahaha!

Very well explained!

SoP.

[Gulao]

I think that if you have picked out the present for your student, specifically if you have already purchased it, it would be best to write:

我已经买完了你的礼物…

完成 gives me the impression that the present is something you've hand-made. If you did hand-make it, then what you have is more or less fine.

[SeekerOfPeace]

I've made it myself.

[HashiriKata]

I've made it myself.

That's nice. Whoever receives it will be very happy.

[SeekerOfPeace]

I hope so.

One of my student spent literally weeks sowing a picture on a pillow for me with my name and little Chinese people smiling.

I couldn't believe how much time she had spent doing this for me.

So I promised her I too would give her something artistic.

[goldie]

everyone's done a great job of explaining.

i just wanted to throw in my 2 pennies worth:

chinese grammar is basically very logical, the order in which you say things is the order in which those things happened.

ie: last night a friend and i had dinner in a restaurant in london.

in chinese, you can't eat without going to the restauarant first, you can't go to the restaurant without going to london first...

zuo wan, wo he wo peng you qu lundun de yi jia fanguan chi fan.

(sorry can't seem to get mdbg type chinese to work)

[SeekerOfPeace]

You're right, it does make a lot of sense when you think about it.

I didn't realize just how logical it was.

E.