惆怅的感觉 - The blues

[TheManInTheHat]

No, this isn't about a New Orlean's style, down in the dumps, melancholic riff. I got the 汉语 blues. I have been living in this country for about a year, and studying for about the same amount of time, while teaching on the side. Oddly enough it feels like the more I progress in this language the more I am mocked by the natives. When I am reading a novel in a coffee shop I get reactions from awe to snickers. With my co-workers, who can't really speak English (though I am at an English school) I'll have a conversation about world events and political affairs. And then I'll get a condescending question asking me if I know what 可爱 means.

Maybe I am just remembering the bad, which is probably part of it, or maybe my 听力 is good enough where I can understand 河南话 pretty clearly. But I am finding that people seem to mock me the better I get.

I didn't find a thread a "I am a whiner" subforum, so I put it here.

Cheers.

[赫杰]

Yup, all I can tell you is to go ahead and get used to it...because you don't have a choice really, either get used to it now, or go crazy later...and then get used to it... and try to 一笑置之 and act 若无其事

But you will get used to it, just give yourself more 适应时间, you will learn to deal with this problem in your own ways.

GamePro Tip: Don't like what your hearing? Get a mp3 player(if you can), and drown out those retards' 叽里呱啦ing with wonderful 访谈 programs and news reports like 整点新闻

Hang in there and have confidence in time...

HJ

[Aweni]

there are some people who are ego, because they think that they undoubtedly know much more than you as an outsider , then,it made you feel being mocked.

but after all i think people have no malice,they didint mean to do that,

forget it and let it be.

说一个大道理就是：走自己的路让别人去说。

otherwise you will be always upset and down in the dumps.actually you may choose to live happily.

[TheManInTheHat]

先我道歉你们,因为我写语法并不太好的字儿. 还说谢谢你们， Aweni and 赫杰，给我建议。

你们俩说的对。有可能在这条路越来越有智能。 你看,在我国家我做心理学家，临我到中国我没想到我会一眨眼的功夫变没有的自信。

如果人不把我放在他们的眼里，我还不如无所谓。 在说我应该小心一点儿判断旁人的行为。 有时候天知道他们在想什么。

"一笑置之" ,那一个忘不了！

*Disclaimer: I am a relative novice. So I recommend anyone new do NOT use the above post as a learning tool.

[Aweni]

你看,在我国家我做心理学家，临我到中国我没想到我会一眨眼的功夫变没有的自信

像你这种情况，有一种说法叫“能医不自医”，呵呵，但是，人往往就是这样，把心里不舒服的说出来，憋着就会更烦恼。

对，有时候对某些事情看轻一点，处以平常心就ok了。

[YuehanHao]

Maybe it's easy for me to say this seems like a matter of perspective and relativity, like everything else. While some of the TheManInTheHat's colleagues or neighbors may mock, as a novice myself, I would very much idolize someone of his skill level!

What I have seen in my experiences is that some people just won't let you belong to their "club" no matter what your capabilities or what you do to prove yourself worthy. Maybe some of TheManInTheHat's colleagues or neighbors are like this. Yet I hope and believe there must also be some who are more welcoming. I have never been too successful in changing people's minds (as happens in movies and other fiction), but have just tried to focus my energy and cares on those welcoming people and brush off any barbs from the others. Best wishes,

约翰好！

[TheManInTheHat]

像你这种情况，有一种说法叫“能医不自医”，呵呵，但是，人往往就是这样，把心里不舒服的说出来，憋着就会更烦恼。[/Quote]

I was not actually familiar with that one heh, but if I read you right it rings bells with the western saying, "the lawyer that represents himself is a fool" and as we said in undergrad "the quack that diagnoses himself, is a little insane, with a touch of OCD and perhaps a Narcissist". Either way he's not doing all that well. Perhaps I am guilty of all the above.

Yeah John, it's all a matter of perspective many a time. Thanks for the chin up. It's easy to get bogged down, especially when fellow 老外 are few and far between.

I am gradually feeling a bit better, picking up my ego, and recovering.

风平浪静

[bluest]

Hello, I am a Chinese girl who is now studying overseas and learning English. Glad to be here and see you all.

For the situation you mentioned in your post that someone teased you about your Chinese, which makes you unhappy, I would like to say it MAYBE just misunderstanding derived from cultural difference. Some people would like to say something likely ironic to their friends or somebody very familiar with. While in most cases, it is just a sign of "you are my close friend". So they concentrated on the relationship rather than upseting you. And another fact is, being long time conservative, Chinese people are used to believe the foreigners are not capable to understand Chinese so well as you do. This is similar to the point of view towards a learning kid. (sorry if it is not an appropriate example) You probably can feel the meaning behind the term"老外", which has a complex culture background.

As for the matter with 河南话，I feel really sorry about this. It is not your fault but totally because of the unreasonable and foolish discrimination to 河南人 in many places in China, especially in big cities. It would be a long story... So when you tell some Chinese people "I can understand 河南话 pretty clearly" , that is more likely to become a "batt".

It will be my pleasure if the words above can help you off that "blues", although my English is poor.

I just want to tell you: you did make a great progress on you Chinese languge study, so just keep going! What you've got is really worthy of my admiring.

I am happy to see there is someone who is interested in our language and culture!

Cheers:)

[TheManInTheHat]

Well, Bluest, it's like this. I think in all honesty my oral Chinese is probably really far from being pretty, as I have only been studying it for about a year. But, for the most part people understand me. You are probably right, at least in part, about the cultural difference – I only briefly studied Asian Psychology in a couple elective courses. There is also the tendency, at least in western populations, to remember bad experiences more vividly than positive experiences.

At any rate, I have decided to make changes and not try and cram a hundred words a day, and hire a tutor strictly for pronunciation, and watch DVDs while I decide if I am going to go for a second semester at 郑州University, or self study with a tutor at my side. I figure no matter my skill level, I am addicted all the same. It is a truly fascinating culture.

A really interesting point that you brought up that I was completely unaware of. That is the negative view of and discrimination against 河南人. If you could give me a brief description of the situation, and the causes of it, I would be interested in becoming a bit more informed of it.

As for your English being poor... At first glance I couldn't tell you were a non-native speaker. It's really good actually.

Good luck with your studies abroad!

Minth.

[bluest]

Hi TheManInTheHat,

As far as the point of descrimination against 河南人 drawing your attention, I would like refer you to some articles, which, at least from my point of view, is fairly objective explaination to this issue. Whereas unfortunately, I cannot find any resources in English. All in all, it is so complicated topic that I'm afraid I cannot go through with it in one or two words.

The reason why 河南人 is discriminated

The reason why 河南人should NOT be discriminated

(If any assistance is needed for your understanding, please feel free to ask me here. )

Briefly speaking, this discrimination is derived from numerous social factors, such as economic, geographic, psychologic, historic etc. The typical example of this disrimination is, in mind of some people "河南人＝swindler". In fact I think the essential reason probably attributes to imbalanced development of China's economy from region to region.

[TheManInTheHat]

Thanks for the link, once I free up some time again I'll dive into it.