What to say to someone whose family member has died?

[michfr]

What are some simple things to say in Mandarin to a relative or friend when someone has recently passed away? Would it be different in the case of Christians, Buddhists, atheists?

[againstwind]

请节哀 jie2 ai1

This is a formal saying used by common people, including atheists.

Another may be 别太难过, which is more suitable for a relative or friend, I feel so.

I don't really know what Christians or Buddhists say in this situation.

For me, once hearing someone passed away, will I probably say nothing to my relatives or friends but comfort them without words. Silent solace may be the best way, I think.

[L-F-J]

~唵嘛呢叭咪吽~

[michfr]

What is that in Pinyin and English?

Thanks.

[L-F-J]

an- ma- ni- ba- mi- hong

its a chinese transliteration of the tibetan buddhist chant "om mani padme hum". i think every buddhist probably is familiar with it.

it doesnt really have an exact english translation. its a buddhist chant recited after a misfortune such as a death, wishing the deceased peace and less suffering to the loved ones.

rather than as a repeating chant, it can just be said once as a blessing. but this is between buddhists and is usually pronounced in its original tibetan pronunciation. but these are the chinese characters for it.

[rose~]

I also asked this question and had some useful answers.

Offering condolences

From Skylee:

I think the most standard thing to say is (請)節哀順變. But I wouldn't say it to a friend as it sounds so standard and uncaring. I think I would simply say 你還好吧？ / 不要太傷心 / 需要我幫忙嗎? etc.

From neverbt:

请节哀，节哀顺便.

[xiaocai]

From F-L-J:

唵嘛呢叭咪吽

You must be kidding...

From rose~:

请节哀，节哀顺便.

I think we usually write as 节哀顺变.

[L-F-J]

thats L F J.

why kidding?

[xiaocai]

Sorry, there might be something wrong with my browser... cause what I did was I just copy and paste.

I don't know, just feel that it will be quite funny if anyone every says it in a funeral to the family of the deceased.

Maybe somewhere else in China has this custom, but at least not in Sichuan.