翁帆情书曝光？英语骈文！

[studentyoung]

今天早上看新闻时看到了这篇有趣的文章->

http://gzdaily.dayoo.com/html/2007-04/26/content_24856559.htm

翁帆情书曝光？英语骈文！

Cold here, icy cold there. You belong to neither, leaves have withered.

　　Your face is pale and blue, a tearful smile. Some-thing in your eyes, whispers words of last good-bye. My heart sinks down, tears surge out.

　　Hot summer. Cheerful Cocktail. You took my hand. We fled into another world of band. You sat by my side, long hair tied behind, cool and killing. Smile floating on the lemonade, soft and smooth. How I was? amazed. Your face looked like the cover of the magazine. My head spin. You led my hand, danced along the crazy theme.

　　Light vied with wine, elegance mixed with fragrance, laughing covered by greetings, the crowed was busy at handshaking. You stood there, eyes on me. I trembled at the sparkles, centerer than the light. A masterpiece from God, I felt dizzy. We were not near, yet we were together.

　　Days ended. You said, you would wait for me at the Alps side. We would ski against snowflakes dancing in the sky. I gave no answer but a good-bye to ac-company your flight. Gone was the plane, I suddenly tasted my pain. I knew I had been silly and stupid, you were in my heart, I shouldn’t have hidden in the dark. I tried to forget your disappointment. I made believe sometime someday, I would tell you, I feel all the same.

　　My thought struggled at confessing, somehow hesitation ended in flinching. I continued my role of a fool, clinched to my maiden pride, yet secretly indulged in your promise of the white land --snow measuring down to us, in your arms I am lifted up. The chiming of Christmas bell!

　　The bell died in the patter of rain, from hell came the laughing of Satan at my brain. Tearful smile, swallowed by the darkness. How could I trace your hair to wipe your tears? My hands reached out, catching nothing but a raindrop, on a leaf that had withered.

　　Snowflakes have melted into water, we are no more together.

　　

此处寒兮，彼处亦寒。

　　枯叶凋零兮，君当何人属欤？

　　君面惨淡忧郁兮，相看带笑泪眼。

　　君热泪盈盈复喃喃喁唧兮，别亦难。

　　沉落兮，泪涌似涛自难抑。

　　当忆酷夏兮，鸡尾酒会欢娱。

　　君执妾手兮，沉醉于二人世界里。

　　君坐妾之侧兮，髻发高束；英姿勃发兮，酷毙。

　　笑逐颜开兮，温润如玉。

　　讶君之面兮，再世吕布周郎。

　　心荡漾兮，手为君执；和曲起舞兮，癫狂。

　　灯盏相辉兮，芳雅相应；祝辞笑浪起伏兮，芸芸相送急。

　　君且立一旁兮，美目探妾。

　　妾莹灯下伫立兮，心动不已。

　　感帝之杰作兮，使妾沉迷。虽与君相隔远兮,心心相近。

　　旧日已逝兮，如梦。

　　会当临于阿尔卑斯山侧兮，滑雪于雪花飞舞之穹下。

　　欲说还休兮，惟祈安康。

　　航机渐逝兮，妾心将苦。

　　深知妾之愚钝兮，然君已窃妾心；妾当不可漠然兮，黯然彷徨。

　　妾亦尝忘君兮，恐失之交臂。

　　信有时兮，告君心迹。

　　挣于忏悔兮，退缩犹豫。

　　愚于处子之婚盟兮，窃纵意于君之诺。白雪皑皑兮，君挽妾身；妾意甚欢兮，聆圣诞钟鸣。

　　然钟声忽止于急雨兮，但闻撒旦之欢声笑语。

　　含泪倩笑兮，吞泯于暗黑。

　　欲将君之发揾君之泪兮，可欤？伸手所触兮，惟一叶飘零一滴飘洒。观积雪融兮，叹与君各在天涯。

　　网友译文(版本之一)

英文的原文很不错，网友的译文版也很妙。可惜，译文里略有一点瑕疵，我稍修补一下。

1. 沉落兮，泪涌似涛自难抑。

原文是：My heart sinks down, tears surge out. 译文只说“沉落兮”，不看原文，还真不知道沉落的是什么？若进一不说明“妾心沉落兮”，似乎更妥帖。

2. 　君且立一旁兮，美目探妾。

这一句是我觉得最唐突的一句，尤其是那个“探”字。原文是：You stood there, eyes on me. “探”字虽然有“看望”的意思，但也有“伸出”、“打听”、“张望”等含义。“探”字用在此处，显得非常的不含蓄。原文的“eyes on me”，是情深款款，眉目含情地凝视情人的意思。若改为：“情深视妾”，似乎更接近“eyes on me”的本意。

3. 深知妾之愚钝兮，然君已窃妾心；

原文：I knew I had been silly and stupid, you were in my heart, “深知妾之愚钝兮”，给人感觉好象是说“你早知道我蠢得要命”，而不是“我早知道我自己很蠢”。“窃”字是“偷”的意思，略与原文的意思不符。若改为：妾亦自知愚钝兮，然君已驻妾心，似乎要好些。

4. 　然钟声忽止于急雨兮，但闻撒旦之欢声笑语。

原文：The bell died in the patter of rain, from hell came the laughing of Satan at my brain. 这个撒旦一笑，教堂神圣的钟声竟骤然而止，可见这魔鬼的笑声是多么的恐怖。“欢声笑语”里似乎少了一种对恐怖气氛的渲染。若改为：但闻撒旦之魅声笑语; 别人一看，就知道是鬼魅的凄厉之声了。

虽然有些罗嗦，不过我还是要说，英文的原文很好，译文虽有微瑕，可瑕不掩玉——好棒！

Thanks!