Chinese Roommate question

[goober]

I am going to college this year and my roommate is an international student from China. I've been reading up on Chinese culture and have even been teaching myself some Mandarin (I'm still on pinyin, and have only a few characters memorized).

One important staple of Chinese culture that I noticed was the custom of gift-giving. Now, I was going to give a gift to my roommate anyway, but after reading all of the do's and don'ts of gift exchange with the Chinese, I am taking this even more seriously. I've read enough to know what to avoid (white blue and black, clocks, fours, red ink, sharp objects, etc) and I know how I'm going to wrap and present it, but I'm at a loss of what the gift should actually be. So, my question is, what would an appropriate gift be to a Chinese young adult/teenager that would signify the start of a friendship?

If it matters, he is from Sichuan.

Also, when his birthday comes around, what would an appropriate birthday gift be?

[skylee]

I don't think it is necessary to give a gift to your roommate to start the friendship. Being nice and helpful is enough, IMHO. But if you insist, I think a shirt, an ipod, a book, a coffee mug, or a meal is good enough.

For his birthday, give him something that you would normally give to your other friends. Aviod clocks, though (personally I don't mind people giving me a clock as long as they mean well and the clock is nice). I have never paid any attention to avoiding sharp objects. If someone gives me a swiss army knife I would be very happy.

We have this saying - no blame can be attached to the unconscious wrongdoer, so take it easy.

[cdn_in_bj]

an ipod

An ipod? Skylee, can I be your friend too?

I too don't think that a gift is necessary, but it also wouldn't hurt and would be a nice gesture. I think that helping out in day-to-day matters would be very much appreciated by your new friend, especially if it is his first time overseas. For example, helping him open a bank account, getting him a calling card so he can call home without having to pay lots of $, buying books together for your courses, etc.

Regarding his birthday, I think you should treat him the same way you would treat birthdays for your other friends here. I think he would appreciate and enjoy that. I can't remember receiving birthday gifts from my guy friends back when I was college, my birthdays usually involved lots of food and an alcohol-induced haze, as well as the uninhibited dancing that goes along with that. And maybe also certain guy-oriented establishments. The memories are a bit fuzzy, but I do remember having some good times.

Obviously you need to make a judgement call on what he might find offensive, as well as what is and is not legal in your state.

[runawayagain]

I think a meal is ok.

[NickyR]

I think the best thing that you can give him, as cdn_in_beijing said, is your support. You've already done that by reading up about Chinese culture (and I expect most of us here are jealous of the potential for your mandarin-learning!) - so you sound like a great roommate already!

I would say that the best way you can support him is to help him integrate with your other fellow students. When he arrives he may well find everything very strange (you might as well as it's your first time at college?!) so just try and help each other settle in. When I started university my mum baked me a whole bunch of brownies and biscuits and sent me off with a couple of bottles of wine and beers. I kept my door open for passing people and made a lot of friends over cake and (not so fine) wine! Perhaps you could bring some traditional cakes from your country (the US?). If he's decided to study there he'll be interested in anything from your country.

Also be careful in doing anything too "Chinese" (does that make sense?) - he will always appreciate the gesture but in my experience when people here give me something "Western", such as Western food, it normally doesn't taste like it does back home and I end up staring longingly at what they're eating! So avoiding things like clocks is defintely good, but remember he'll want to learn about his new culture as well....

[cdn_in_bj]

Nicky is right, he may not like the "Chinese" food over there. I suggest you introduce him to some fine western fare such as mashed potatoes and filet of cow.

and sent me off with a couple of bottles of wine and beers

How old were you when you entered college?

[vivian84730]

Just give him more smile,

play sports with him,or in his birthday,say"生日快乐",then tell him this Chinese sentence is just for him.Have good day in China!

[NickyR]

Quote:

and sent me off with a couple of bottles of wine and beers

How old were you when you entered college?

Hee Hee!

I was 19 I think - but I'm from the UK which means that:

a) Legal drinking age is 18; and

B) We all start drinking at the age of about 7 anyway!

[cdn_in_bj]

I was 19 I think - but I'm from the UK which means that

Ah, ok I was going to guess that you were from Canada. The legal drinking age there is 19, except in the province of Quebec where it is 18. I remember during a trip to Ottawa when I was still in high school, a bunch of us crossed the provincial border into the neighbouring city of Hull one night where we could legally drink. At the time, we thought we were so bad, but now, it seems so silly.