Any chance for serious relationship with Chinese girls?

[icebear]

Not rushed to marry for slightly older girls in China? Really?

The girls I and my friends have dated are mostly in the 25-30 range. None of them were in any rush.

It helps if you make it clear early on that you aren't interested in that in the near future - which will scare off the ones that are really concerned about it.

That says nothing about the "hook-up" scene - plenty of girls (most people) are just looking for some fun.

[gougou]

Not rushed to marry for slightly older girls in China? Really?

As usual, it depends. A significant number of women seem to be less in a hurry than their equivalents 30 years back would have been, as Business Wek and the BBC reported. There's also this article by the Economist about the trend in the whole of Asia (though they note that it has not caught on in China yet).

[WestTexas]

It's different from girl to girl. I know 20 year old girls who are obsessed with marriage. And it's definitely easier to meet girls in bigger cities. MUCH easier. There are more girls, more places to meet girls, and girls who are more open-minded about things.

I like the town where I live (small town in NE China), but the girl situation is a big problem here. Aside from the students at my school (who are off-limits for me), most women are very conservative. Few women over 25 are unmarried. (I'm 27). I remember talking to some girls at a barbecue restaurant one night. They were 22, 26, 27, all married. Girls who aren't married live with their parents and seem uninteresting. I can get phone numbers from cute waitresses, but the fun is over when I find out that the woman works 60 hours a week at the restaurant, lives with her parents, and stopped school at 14. Not much to talk about. Also, foreigners have the whole reputation of 'just wants to 玩儿 with Chinese girls'. Well, if that's what you want to call a sexual relationship with no intention to get married, then yes, that's what I want. Dates are short when I tell these girls I'm not interested in getting married and would absolutely never buy a house for a woman. It's difficult to get sex here and still be honest. I've managed to satisfy my needs with a combination of the other foreigners in town and hookers, who seem to be the only ones who are okay with the whole 'let's just bang' thing.

Contrast this with Beijing, where there are apparently Chinese girls who go to certain bars just to meet foreigners for one night stands. Would be great to have more bars like that here.

[raydpratt]

By the time that I had gotten to lesson 30 of Pimsleur's Mandarin Chinese audio lessons, I was appalled that I understood so little of the Chinese movies that I buy for enjoyment and study. So, if I see someone Chinese in an approachable situation, I wander over and start a conversation. One such day, I walked up to a Chinese girl and very quickly got questioned about whether I had a girlfriend, and when I did not show sufficient interest, I was then shown a picture of another Chinese girl and was asked about my potential interest. Ultimately, I mustered up the phrase, "Tai4 kuai4 le."

When I see a chinese girl, I see a member of a multi-millenium culture with a potential richness and value that goes well beyond "girlfriend." However, I enjoyed the encounter, even if I didn't admire it. But, this is the United States, not China. If I were to seek a Chinese girlfriend, for mutual development and fun, I think that I would do that here, but not in China. I think that it would be embarrassing at the local, family level for a Chinese girl to come home with a wood in tow. Just saying!