Need some advice about gift-giving

[franyasan]

Hi All,

I'm new here and still trying to understand the way it all works...

Anyway, my concern is with a Chinese girl who's in her 40's, whom I'm friends with and care for ( I'm a 40 's male) and she is living here in Masachusetts,.Her sister is 3 years younger and still living in China, and is dying from cancer. She's expected to live for only a month or two longer. Angie will be flying back to China soon to be with her in her last moments. I would like to get her a gift or something to help her through her sadness. I can tell she's crying inside, even though she tries not to show it. I know it will take some time for her to heal. Is there anything I could get for her, or do for her to help with her pain? I'm not familiar with Chinese culture and would not want to offend her in any way. I feel her pain, losing her younger sister, and being so far away. If anyone has any ideas I am open to suggestions. Thanks in advance,

Franny

[shanghaikai]

If you're part of a circle of friends that includes her, maybe you can get everyone to write a card wishing her and her sister the best, that you'll all be thinking (or praying) for them while she is away in China. If it is just you, you can do the same thing. Like most people, Chinese or not, she'll understand your sincerity and well-wishes. Perhaps give the card or letter or note to her as she leaves, or tell her that you hope she'll keep it with her to remind herself that she has friends back in the States thinking of her.

[littleknight23]

www.eye4gift.com

Many gift ideas here. Maybe you will find one

But after you ordered one and they post it to you, it will take a long time.

So you’d better ask them to post the gift to the receiver’s address in China.

And if you can not read Chinese, it will be a little difficult to select one, since most of the ideas are expressing in Chinese.

[simonlaing]

Well the best advice I can give you is give her a gift that is specific to her. Chocolates and flowers can be over used unless she is a gardener or food connisseur..

Some taboo items to be careful of

Don't give clocks - remind people of death

Scissors, blades and army knives also have the idea of cut the relationship.

Clothes that are all white can mean death in traditional Chinese culture.

Also watch out for the number 4 it has the same sound as death. 8 means wealth/fortune,

9 is the biggest number, to show generosity 99 roses..

Food is a common gift. Fruit baskets are often given at Spring festival time.

I think you should ask her good friends what her favorite things are and try help with that.

The other thing is to just be supportive. Talking and being a good listerner can go a long way in a relationship.

Anyway good luck,

Simon:)