Advice In Dating a Chinese Girl...

[Lu]

Especially since bringing it out in the open could possibly end the whole thing, if she's really not interested and is now uncomfortable around me (Been there before).

Yes, that's a risk. But seriously, how do you see yourself being long-term friends with a woman who is breaking your heart by not being with you? If she doesn't feel something for you too, it's probably better for you, too, if the whole thing is cut off before you invest more time and interest in her. From what I'm reading you really like her a lot, in the romantic sense of the word, so it's better to know, either way.

Good luck!

[lilongyue]

One important factor to consider is whether or not she's a traditional girl. Something Chinese women like to do (my wife is Chinese, by the way, and is rather traditional in her thinking) is to test you. Forgive me if this has already been said in another post, but if after revealing your feelings she shuts you down, it isn't the end. She might just be testing you to see how committed you are. Don't give up after the first attempt. Chinese women do this a lot, especially in the beginning of a relationship, and perhaps more with foreigners than Chinese men. In the eyes of Chinese, foreigners (like Americans) have little sense of commitment. Chinese take relationships, even dating, much more seriously than Westerners. When Chinese hear about the high rates of divorce in the U.S. and how many "lovers" Americans have when they are young they see it as lack of commitment. Before I starting dating my wife, I dropped numerous hints and tried holding her hand and it got me nowhere. She flat out lied about being interested in me. This happened to me with other Chinese women too, before I met my wife. It was only to "test" me. Don't be surprised if this girl says something like "Oh no, I only thought of you as a friend." She's only checking to see how serious you are. Chinese women don't look for boyfriends, they look for future husbands.

She knows very well what it means to go out to movies and have dinner with with you. I'd say you're good to go with this girl, but be prepared to undergo a "test." Her living in America for 7 years might not have changed much in her way of thinking, especially if she doesn't have many American friends, or has never dated an American.

A lot of foreigners living in China don't like traditional girls. Often times, I think the only reason for this is that a traditional girl isn't going to jump in the sack with you right away. You'll have to work a bit harder to woo a traditional girl. But if what you want is a serious, long-term relationship with commitment and trust, then a more traditional Chinese woman is the way to go.

Don't give up, and good luck!

[shanghaikai]

This thread needs an update, son!