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Posted

hey, i'm wondering if i should just add new sentences that i write on the old post, but then, i think less people will read it. Should i just continue on the old post ("help with more sentences") or keep posting new posts?

anyways, here are some new sentences i composed:

我本來以為那個漂亮的歌手是為彬彬有禮的人。看來,我以貌取人了。她只是個外表華美風雲人物,講話總是胡言亂語又習慣用下流話

湯母和哈克雖然親眼目睹了印第安喬把醫生殺掉,但他們因為怕自己也會被印第安喬殺掉,保持沈默

二次世界大戰的時候,日本人的神風絕大部分必死無疑的。

19世紀的人看到飛機,就已經覺得非同小可了。現在的人反而覺得那些人大驚小怪

生活困難的時候,不要因驕傲或禮貌而拒絕好心要援助你的人。別人太慷慨的時候,你可能會非常不好意思,但是恭敬不如從命,需要幫助的話就別拒絕他們的好意。

*the red words mean vocabulary that I'm trying to practice using

btw, most of these words are from the Japanese anime, The Adventures of Tom Sawyer, dubbed in Mandarin.

i haven't provided english versions because i wasn't trying to translate anything. i was trying to write freely, so i hope you can kind of understand what i'm trying to say and correct all grammatical, connotative, etc. mistakes and make it perfect (or close-to-perfect) to the chinese ear.

thanks very much!

Posted

No problem with you posting new topics, but you might find you actually get a better response posting them all in one topic - then people who've already replied will get the email alert to tell them of the new post (assuming they use that function). Try it either way if you want.

Might be helpful if you post more info about the sentences - what course or textbook they're a part of, which parts you aren't sure are correct, etc - makes it a bit more interesting to read and easier for people to help you.

Posted

我本來以為那個漂亮的歌手是為彬彬有禮的人。看來,我以貌取人了。她只是個外表華美的風雲人物,講話總是胡言亂語又習慣用下流話。

Should be 是彬彬有禮的人. The rest are OK.

湯母和哈克雖然親眼目睹了印第安喬把醫生殺掉,但他們因為怕自己也會被印第安喬殺掉,保持沈默。

Should be:保持沈默。

二次世界大戰的時候,日本人的神風絕大部分是必死無疑的。

神風隊員

19世紀的人看到飛機,就已經覺得非同小可了。現在的人反而覺得那些人大驚小怪。

All OK.

生活困難的時候,不要因驕傲或禮貌而拒絕好心要援助你的人。別人太慷慨的時候,你可能會非常不好意思,但是恭敬不如從命,需要幫助的話就別拒絕他們的好意。

All OK.

Posted
Might be helpful if you post more info about the sentences - what course or textbook they're a part of, which parts you aren't sure are correct, etc - makes it a bit more interesting to read and easier for people to help you.
thanks for bringing all this up!

actually, i'm not using a textbook. I'm just trying to apply as many of the vocab words that I learn from watching cartoons in Mandarin, reading, etc.

and thanks, fireball, for answering!

Posted

Then tell us what the cartoons / books are :mrgreen:

It's not a major issue, and you're getting plenty of answers which is the main thing. I just think the more background info you present the more interesting the post is and the more people will read it.

Also, if you can point out which is the actual word / phrase you are trying to practice you might get more targeted info.

Keep up the good work though!

Posted

I don't have the vocabulary to read most of what you wrote. I plan on getting there within the next few months though. How long have you been studying chinese?

Posted
I don't have the vocabulary to read most of what you wrote. I plan on getting there within the next few months though. How long have you been studying chinese?

forever! jk :mrgreen:

I am sort of a native speaker (an American-born to be exact), so therefore I've been speaking Chinese since I was born. My mother homeschooled me in Chinese until I was in 7th grade. Since then, I've been trying to teach myself Chinese as I have taken a liking to learning useful languages (I'm also learning Japanese).

Currently, I watch cartoons, read online newspapers, and work out of a few skinny textbooks. Even though I'm a "sort of" native speaker and have an advantage in that sense, I still have to be very dedicated and learn from a foreigner's perspective (hence, my relatives sometimes call me 外國人)

Don't worry- if you're dedicated and hardworking, you'll be at my level in no time.

Posted

the writing looks like a translated classic novel published by local publisher. It's chinese, but not written in chinese style.

我本來以為那個漂亮的歌手是為彬彬有禮的人。看來,我以貌取人了。她只是個外表華美的風雲人物,講話總是胡言亂語又習慣用下流話。

我還以為那個漂亮歌手是個淑女,誰知道她金玉其外,表面華美,開口卻胡言亂語,說話下流,虧她是風雲人物,算我丟了眼看錯人。

Posted

What a coincidence! They look like sentences with the exact same meaning and the exact same words! Except the other one is so much better than mine :{

I've never read a translated classical novel as my chinese isn't there yet, but hopefully, in the future I will be able to. Exactly which book is this?

Posted

82riceballs, sorry for my ambiguity. I mean the grammar and usage of your sentence is all correct, but the writing style not really Chinese.

This "Europeanized" Chinese writing style often happens in translated novels, because the translators put too much focus on directly translating each sentence, word by word, into Chinese, instead of thinking the meaning and expression in the Chinese way. I guess that when you wrote your sentence, you thought how to express it in English first, and translated them into Chinese. Right?

Your proficiency in Chinese is good enough to take you further step to brush away your Europeanized style and write better Chinese.

This is your original sentence:

我本來以為那個漂亮的歌手是為彬彬有禮的人。看來,我以貌取人了。她只是個外表華美的風雲人物,講話總是胡言亂語又習慣用下流話。

This is my rewrite.

我還以為那個漂亮歌手是個淑女,誰知道她金玉其外,表面華美,開口卻胡言亂語,說話下流,虧她是風雲人物,算我丟了眼看錯人。

Posted

And other sentences................

湯母和哈克雖然親眼目睹了印第安喬把醫生殺掉,但他們因為怕自己也會被印第安喬殺掉,保持沈默。

rewrite:

湯姆和哈克親眼看見印弟安橋把醫生殺了 , 但怕惹禍, 寧願保持沉默。

( use 沉默 not 沈默; 湯母 is correct transliterated name, but 湯姆 is more common. )

二次世界大戰的時候,日本人的神風絕大部分是必死無疑的。

rewrite:

二次大戰時, 日本大部分神風隊員不能倖存。 (必死無疑 won't be used with 大部分, it's contradictory)

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