translating 高启's "寻胡隐君“

[natalie]

大家好,

I'm trying to translate a poem of Gao Qi.

Here is the poem:

寻胡隐君

渡水复渡水，

看花还看花。

春风江上路，

不觉到君家

I found a translation, by Xu Yuanchong, but the last two lines seem inaccurate to me.

His translation:

On a Visit

I cross stream after stream

And view flowers on flowers.

I arrive as in dream,

Glad to forget the hours.

I think there is a problem with the last two lines:

春风江上路，

不觉到君家

Don't they mean something like...:

I started my journey on the river with the spring breeze

Now I don't notice when I reach my destination.

?

What do you think?

[gato]

Yes. The translator was trying to rhyme "stream" and "dream", "flowers" and "hours."

"Glad to forget the hours," I think, implies that there's something the author is trying to escape, a meaning that's not in the Chinese original. Maybe you can come up with something that is both faithful to the original and rhymes.

[muyongshi]

I agree with your translation. And I don't think people should sacrifice the text for the sake of rhyming when translating. I find your "non-rhymed" translation much more beautiful than the "rhymed" one. And your meaning is accurate by the way.

[SChinFChin]

think there is a problem with the last two lines:

春风江上路，

不觉到君家

Don't they mean something like...:

I started my journey on the river with the spring breeze

Now I don't notice when I reach my destination.

Agree with the others, your translation is on the mark. Perhaps this will do:

I cross stream after stream

And view flowers on flowers.

I journeyed in the spring breeze down the stream, like a dream

Arrived (there) not realizing it's been hours.

It would rhyme, and catch the meaning too, though not "word for word".

BTW, are you a student of classical Chinese literature, or is it a hobby??

[SWWLiu]

I'm trying to translate a poem of Gao Qi.

Here is the poem by 高启 :

寻胡隐君

渡水复渡水，

看花还看花。

春风江上路，

不觉到君家

I found a translation' date=' by Xu Yuanchong, but the last two lines seem inaccurate to me.

His translation:

On a Visit

I cross stream after stream

And view flowers on flowers.

I arrive as in dream,

Glad to forget the hours.

[/quote']

This is too hard for me to translate literally, natalie. I supply a variation, just for fun:

Variation on a Lyric Poem by GAO Qi

寻胡隐君（明。高启）

Wading murmuring brooks after gurgling streams,

Sighting vernal blossoms upon fragrant flowers,

Caressed by the gentle breeze, I glide through my journey,

Ambling on by land or water, soon reaching your abode.

I hope the readers like it.

[oldnews]

春风江上路

describe a picture which he see on the journey.