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Crouching Channa, Hidden Confucius


confucius

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(It was supposed to go as a reply in the other thread but I kept getting "Invalid Session")

Confucius: Want a sword?

Channa: Come on, is that your best pick-up line?

Kaoguxue Girl arrives on scene in crash of bamboo: I'll bury that sword to the hilt!

Confucius: Is this the cat fight part?

Channa: No, we're going to beat you up, you dog!

(Channa and KG walk on air toward Confucius)

Chow Yun Fat kicks wooden door in half, gun in each hand: "Who stole my comb?"

Confucius: Kaoguxue Girl buried it in Xinjiang.

Channa: You lie! (kicks Confucius between legs)

Chow, in awe: Mantis scores goal! Who taught you those moves?

Channa: Zunyi Bus Station Temple, where I practice on leering monks!

KG: Hey, when do I get another speaking part in this flick?

Confucius: You get to say "Yes, yes, yes" when we get to the hot springs.

Chow: When do I get to shoot somebody?

Channa: What do you think this is,... Rush Hour?

KG: I'm so confused. (jumps off bridge)

Confucius takes off scholarly robe, dives naked into water to save KG

Channa: Wait a minute, this film's over and I'm not getting any action?

Chow (winking at Channa): Want a gun?

XXX FINAL SCENES CENSORED BY PRC MINISTRY OF CULTURE XXX

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