curious?

[aimei]

lol, the staring squad!! love it!!

[LiYuanXi]

You won't get any staring in Singapore because we see foreigners everywhere but Singaporeans are still naturally 'kpo' ('nosy' in Singaporean terms). Especially full time housewives who have got nothing to do in the afternoon. My mum, for example, knows very well how many times my neighbour washes his car a week.

[jslee]

Haha, I can imagine how wierd it must be for you guys

[Woodpecker]

Edit: realized post was irrelevant, but can't delete it now. Sorry!

Edited August 22, 2008 at 01:43 PM by Woodpecker

[Lu]

My Chinese friends do also ask each other about grades and salaries. I was gonna say it's a legacy of the cultural revolution, when everyone snooped on each other, but I think it happens in Taiwan as well.

It does. On the upside: this means that you can ask others as well, so for a while I was doing a little survey on the income of the average taxi driver (about NT$50,000 to 100,000 a month, if anyone wants to know).

[billiardsmike]

I live just north of Wudaokou and BLCU, so foreigners abound but the curiosity remains. While I sat at lunch reading a paper, a group of 10 older men were being served their meal. One guy turned his chair and stared for 20 minutes. By the time he was satisfied/bored, his friends had eaten everything.

I stopped at the store on the way home and the owner's son practically crawled up onto the counter to look into my wallet while I was paying. I'm not sure I want to experience the more rural version of curiosity.

[Senzhi]

this means that you can ask others as well

Even though this seems to be a general thinking, I am not convinced: questions as "How old are you?", "Are you married?", "Do you have a boyfriend/girlfriend?", "How much do you earn?" have always been considered rude if I ask them, but absolutely acceptable if they ask me.

[zhxlier]

Hell, Americans are curious. I'm Chinese and I never ask people about salary or whether they are married. In my first class in the US, the professor asked everyone - whether they are married, whether they have a boyfriend/girlfriend, how long have they been together with their BF/GF... The list just went on. I was still in shock today. I spent all these years believing Westerners take privacy seriously.

Another example: Several months ago my big boss said to me: you do not talk a lot about your husband. Why am I supposed to talk about my husband in front of her? Can't I just keep it to myself?

[A life of study]

Well, Beijing and Shanghai are probably better for staring, but the idea that places that have seen lots of foreigners don't stare is not true. Crossing the border from Hong Kong to Shenzhen, the change was instant. Actually, Shenzheners see plenty of foreigners, but it is kind of connected with China's dehumanising discourse re: foreigners and not with the number of foreigners that can be seen on the streets as such. I noted recently that Hong Kong discussed the Chinese government's suggestion to introduce CCTV broadcasting in HK, with one Legco member saying it would be "brainwashing". The HK government issued a document on "patriotic education", arguing that the "academic content" of classes was too high, and the patriotic content too low. Eg classes in science should not be just about science but about "the motherland's achievements including putting a man in space", and so on for every subject, so that every academic subject becomes a vehicle for a certain kind of propaganda. And the Democratic Party Legco member said that was "brainwashing". Anyone subject to CCTV upbringing will have a kind of mental distance between foreigners and Chinese, which might be broken down by contact with foreigners, but not just by seeing foreigners on the street, but by genuine and prolonged human contact.

I get the impression that they're curious in all the wrong ways. They'll be super nosy about your private life but (anecdotal reference warning anecdotal reference warning) from my experience teaching a swarm of 16 - 18 year olds in the hinterlands of China they never once displayed any intellectual curiosity about life in other countries or other worldviews. The education system hammered into them the idea that all that matters in life as a young person are the god damn answers to the gao kao. They would ask me lots of shallow dumb questions about American pop culture - not just any American pop culture but pop culture from 10 years ago, zuoyou. Backstreet boys and stuff. It was so disappointing for me. That many students, that many teaching-hours, and not a single interesting, controversial, thoughtful, or provocative question that I didn't have to doggedly coax out of them. One oblique reference to my "nüpengyou" however would send them all into a piranha frenzy about my private life.

One of my big regrets is my inability to interest Chinese friends in classical music. I think they suspect it may be a great contribution to world civilisation and therefore don't want to hear it, because it is not Chinese, and they want to believe all the good things came from China. Their interest in pop distresses me, as the most trashy and gaudy stuff from the West is being lapped up. Seeing all those TV shows with people singing pop songs just depresses me really. What do you think of Chinese culture, I am frequently asked. Hmm! When I see some, I'll let you know!

Edited August 23, 2008 at 03:29 AM by A life of study
Man on the moon: altered to: man in space.

[imron]

One of my big regrets is my inability to interest Chinese friends in classical music. I think they suspect it may be a great contribution to world civilisation and therefore don't want to hear it

Probably not. Have you ever tried convincing a western person who was interested mostly in pop music to get interested in classical music? Sadly, it's a losing cause.

[Hedge]

I live in Shanghai and am often asked by people I've just met how much money I make. On several occasions I have also been asked how much my watch cost, even when I have stated that it was a gift.

[zozzen]

i met a curious UK couple a few days ago. The husband kept asking many juicy questions about a girl who doesn't speak english and seemed to be very funny to see that his impression about china is obsolete.

At the first day i also found it funny to be an interpreter for them, but at the third day it's tired and boring. When curiosity is running out, too much questions can be a trouble.

[zozzen]

after reading all these, i'm wondering what's the "sensitive question" in china?

did anyone raise a question that most chinese don't want to anser you?

[Senzhi]

did anyone raise a question that most chinese don't want to anser you?

Exactly the same kind of questions I don't like to be asked: "How old are you?", "Are you married?", "Do you have a girlfriend?", "How much do you earn?" ...

In my area, most people find it acceptable asking me (out of pure curiosity towards the foreigner), but impolite if I ask them.

[zozzen]

i get used to be asked about my age, my girlfriend, my salary, my job, my parents' jobs, the size of my apartment and etc. The key here in china is not how to avoid being asked these questions, but how to deal with these questions politely. I've met a lot trying to suggest that chinese should be shamed for their lesser concern for privacy. An embarassement.

[Woodpecker]

In my area' date=' most people find it acceptable asking me (out of pure curiosity towards the foreigner), but impolite if I ask them. [/quote']

In the West too there are some strange customs regarding questions. In my country, for example, it is O.K. for a woman to ask a man how old they are, but not the other way around. Even though I'm not a foreigner I think the objection is a bit silly.

Edited September 3, 2008 at 12:08 PM by Woodpecker

[lilongyue]

Related to curiosity, I think I find the unsolicited advice and/or commentary that follows all the questions as annoying as the questions themselves. People who know nothing about you as a person, and even less about you as someone non-Chinese and with very different views on many subjects, telling you what you should or shouldn't do in a particular situation, or how you should do it, drives me up the wall. I've been working on a translation of the saying "Opinions are like assholes, everyone has them and they all stink," but considering how rude it would be to say something like that, I've never said it.

What is nosy, and what are acceptable questions or conversation between acquaintances is highly subjective. I've heard that many Europeans think Americans are very unreserved in what they will talk about with people who aren't family or close friends. I could see how something like this would lead to Americans being thought of as nosy, if the American started asking questions about something they don't mind sharing, but the European thinks is too personal to share.

Regarding the usual list of questions that Chinese go through when meeting a foreigner, my new policy is to ask them to answer their own question first. If they answer it, then I'll answer theirs.

[vinhlong]

The posts about the staring etc. are quite funny. I am born and raised in the Netherlands. In the 1980's non-European foreigner's were still rare. In first grade I was continually bombarded with questions about being Chinese, China, etc. Even tough I was born and raised in the Netherlands, it never occured to them I would know little more then them

When I was in first grade a boy came from Kenya (I believe), it was the first black kid most of the Dutch guys ever saw. The wanted to touch his hair, his skin. Asked him if his mother painted him black immediately when he was born, and all kind of stuff.

Also a few years ago there was a photo exposition about the first Chinese immigrants in the Netherlands. There was a picture of a Chinese woman dressed as a guy. In the picture there was a huge gathering of people who did a lot of staring, because at that time Dutch migration policy forbid Chinese women to move into the country, and as such the sight of a Chinese woman was a rarity.

I think staring is a universal trait, and Westerners have done their share already.