Chinese Girl Shouldn't Date Much?

[BJ220051]

I am not a most racist person you have ever met here. Just because there are plenty of unworty western ass kissers who flatter you, especially in shanghai, then you think everyone likes you.

Personally, I have met a few westerners who want to make 'close friends' with me. I am really curious of that. Probably close , good friends and the like is secret language in the west. I have started to do search about your kind for a while.

I am completely sure a lot of chinese out there who are cheap as hell, so that many arrogant westerners think themselves have right to criticize this or that about China. A few days ago, I met two who criticized Beijing looks too mordern, liked Xinjiang and countryside, and China should look like blah blah, blah. It seems they are landlords.

You guess right. I dont go to pub. But, just some pubs like what you said. 'making friends is for funn' is absolutly not chinese idea , In the west, many cannot distinguish who is friend and who is lover. It is not a living style here. There is not such logic 'If you agree, then nothing wrong with me'. This not chinese moral standard.

btw, Lust caution, hero and something else (I could not remeber film english name) directed by Zhang Yimao are made for westerners, for western film award, for western film market, for money. Since some of you are living in China. You could hea those films are not commented well. Instead, some of films are thought highly of in the west. And some actresses/actors are much more famous abroad then here. Such as Olympic Games Opening Ceremony, it must be made for worldwide audience, not only Chinese. If you watch programme interview Zhang jigang another director, you will know the ceremony dont need to talk world about our long long history, pretty much meeting theme and consider how to make all over the world understand what we will tell. It is all about business.

as to expection what marriage provides in the what is much higher than here. I have no doubt about it. Compared to the west, everything is much cheaper, including labor and the like. People here tend to ask for less than the west.

[adrianlondon]

They said getting teghter is for fun. Chinese dont have this part.

Not only do you only meet a small subsection of Westerners (you obviously go to the places where the sluts hang out - why is that?) but it's now also clear you don't have many Chinese friends, either.

[roddy]

Just because there are plenty of unworty western ass kissers who flatter you, especially in shanghai, then you think everyone likes you.

My friend would like to know where to find these people.

[BJ220051]

woops, I have no idea absolutely about those places is like that, and people dressed well.

There are plenty of people whos living style is like that. I talked about what I met in the west. There has nothing to do with chinese friends thing. only classmates have a lot, let alone knowing people from working, business and friends' friends. plenty of them, no worry!

I am sure you can find those ass kissers. a few days ago, two foreigners, as a western company presentatives, came here to go negociate with our person in charge. They both took a translator. at break time, he talked about how much the west is good, how much here is bad and blah blah. for the business sake, we did not punch him. Otherwise, he must become blue and black all over his body. We pretty much hope he get out of here as soon as possible.

my english problem.

I meant a lot ass kissers kiss western people asses

Edited August 21, 2008 at 10:40 AM by roddy
No need for three posts.

[adrianlondon]

a lot ass kissers kiss western people asses

What can I say, I have a nice ass.

[Artem]

Here you are talking about how "arrogant" westerners criticize a place the visited, while you are yourself criticizing a culture you don't even understand.

If you don't think those westerners have the right to criticize China, what makes you think you have the right to criticize the westerners or their culture? Have you ever heard of being a hypocrite?

If you prefer Chinese culture, that's great. There's nothing wrong with that. What is wrong is that you are so close minded that you insult other cultures that are different from yours.

Can you blame your coworker complaining about his unfortunate situation if even his coworkers threaten to beat him up....

[md1101]

you don't think those westerners have the right to criticize China, what makes you think you have the right to criticize the westerners or their culture?

I have NO IDEA how this topic has suddenly come to this (Original topic: Chinese Girl Shouldn't Date Much?)

I think (whether what they say is right or wrong), a lot of western business men make the stupid mistake of preaching to their Chinese business counterparts about why their own system is good and why the Chinese system is bad.. the Chinese then nod their heads quietly trying to save everyone a bit of face but are very unlikely to actually agree and in most cases as BJ just insinuated, they get pissed off (understandably --> it is offensive to be lectured by a guest in your country whom you hardly know, trying to do a business deal).

I don't think people should dismiss BJ. He's someone from China actually willing to give us his opinion rather than just cop the crap he probably gets from a lot ignorant tourists/business ppl he gets in China. I've been that ignorant fella (and probably still am at times) quite a few times..

Although.. BJ, it will be hard to listen to you because you do come across as someone with the mindset of "no matter what..support the motherland". i refer to some of ur previous posts.

[ruoxuan]

the Chinese then nod their heads quietly trying to save everyone a bit of face but are very unlikely to actually agree and in most cases as BJ just insinuated, they get pissed off

yeah, i feel the same.

it reminds me of some foreign instructors i ever came across

some was like all the time criticizing most any project he got to see before he actually knew what's really behind it. then introduced to us western criteria of evaluating academic excellence as he referred to as superior

i was acutally thinking " who are you to judge what is good or bad in a context you don't even get familiared with '

but instead, everyone smiled and nodded. typical chinese students( yeah, me too). a bit of face thing.

[blueyankee445]

Why shouldnt you date?Many Chinese women date,and its seen all the time when my wife and me go dancing and bowling. No problem

[BJ220051]

md, I sticked to the topic all the time. I was trying to say western dating styly competly differs from us. Westerners make many so-called close friends and then choose one you could think she/he is suitable for you. Importantly, westerners tend to be quite egotistical. If one part of a couple feels uncomfortable, then you two could split up. Chinese take very long time to get togther, even years. When people get longer, attachment, affection and connections are built. Thereofore, chinese wont have sex in short term. But, due to any kind of difficulty like career or family background, a couple wont get married, then chinese could consider next people. Normally, chinese wont date many naturly. unlike westerners have dozens of partners, 10-30 or more. In the west, good guys finish last. Here is the opposite situation. Westerners living stlye tends to relax relatively. I have met western woman take condoms in her purse. This kind of thing wont be accepted here. But, I pretty much sure you could met such kind of chinese woman, wearing good make up and low cut tank top, in advanced pub or somewhere. I dont know where those woman work and what kind of family background. It is definitely beyond my imagination. It has nothing to do with my close-mind. Such behavior goes against chinese ethinic rules, which has been proved higher moral standard through thousands of years. Overly open mind is not forward, it is backward.

My point is that OP might not understand westerners' dating rules. Asking westerners whether chinese date too much is pointless.

[Hedge]

Please teach us more about the West, BJ220051! This is just classic.

[BJ220051]

obviously, I add too much my emtion to my writing. I should have a little bit control.

very straight, I get pissed off imediatly.

[imron]

BJ220051, I'm sorry but I have to ask, where exactly did you learn all of this stuff about the west? You seem to have a very warped perception of what the west and westerners are like, and are generalising for the whole population based on a lifestyle that is representative of only a small portion of western society. You also seem to blindly miss the fact that all of the behaviours you mention can be found among Chinese people too.

[self-taught-mba]

Sorry Imron, I think she is generalizing, but has some valid points. A much larger %'ge of the population in the US will carry condoms. "Just in case" It can be found in China also of course.

The average number of partners is also way higher in the West. This is proven.

Also of note is the good guys last part. So many western women love "bad boys", but I think the average Chinese girl does not. Lots of dorks with beautiful girls here.

[ruoxuan]

it's a "she"?

i thought it's a he.

but BJ, I surely "leanred" something about the west from you

and curious where you got those "facts".

[adrianlondon]

Unfortunately, he/she probably got their impressions of the West from the kind of expat one bumps into on thatsbj and the crappy bars around the workers stadium ;)

Not us, of course. We're all China-loving, hard working, fully integrating, intelligent mandarin learners.

Stereotyping is fun!

[renzhe]

I think BJ got the impression about western society from "Debbie does Dallas".

[imron]

So many western women love "bad boys", but I think the average Chinese girl does not.

Haha, you mean you haven't heard of the phrase 男人不坏，女人不爱？

The average number of partners is also way higher in the West. This is proven.

It's also quite a bit lower than what BJ22051 stated. From memory it was around 6-7 or something like that. Interestingly enough, when I went googling to find an actual figure, I came across this on Durex's website, which puts China ahead of any other country in terms of the number of sexual partners a person has in their lifetime. I can think of several reasons why such a figure might be flawed (e.g. perhaps the researchers only took a sample from bigger cities such as Beijing, Shanghai and Guangzhou which are not really representative of the Chinese population as a whole), however it does show that the situation isn't nearly as clear cut as one might believe. It's also interesting to observe the differences between Hong Kong, Taiwan and the mainland.

[imron]

A much larger %'ge of the population in the US will carry condoms. "Just in case"

One could also argue that this is because Chinese people don't bother to use condoms and if the women gets pregnant, she'll just have an abortion. Except that would be a horrible generalisation that many people would say was both wrong and offensive. Such things do happen regularly in China though, at least according to all the TV series I've been watching as part of the first episode project.

It's a good thing I don't judge Chinese people based on what I see on television however.

[Horse]

BJ you seem to have a huge complex about the West. I'd imagine you'd be very disappointed if you went there to find it's more old ladies walking dogs and boring towns full of DIY shops, than depraved sex fiends rabidly humping anything that moves (at least where i'm from anyway)

Edited August 27, 2008 at 12:00 AM by Horse