Gifts for In-laws?

[Clueless99]

I'm American and my wife is Chinese. Her parents are coming to visit, and it's the first time I've met them, so I want to give them some gifts. They'll have to be small and not fragile so that they can get them home in their suitcases. What would be appropriate?

[Senzhi]

Well ..... I guess something small would do ... but make it something American ... you know, something out of your own culture. (I guess that means something out of your own state).

Don't worry too much, Chinese people can be as appreciative of small things as any other people in the world. It's the giving and receiving that counts, not the gift (except for some traditions "within China").

But since you won't be in China ....

[kdavid]

The first time I went home to visit my in-laws (before they were in-laws) I brought back tons of big, semi-expensive gifts. I was in hot water with them, just because I was a foreigner, so I felt the need to "show off" a bit. After the first day / gift-giving, they really started to warm up to me.

Avoid giving small touristy tokens and souvenirs, these won't fly well at all. Your in-laws will certainly want to show off whatever you give them, so it should be something that indicates status (to an extent).

Whether or not it has any American flare is almost irrelevant, as most things will have been made in China regardless.

How old are your in-laws and where do they live? City or countryside? What is their socio-economic status? I ask because this will largely dictate their expectations.

It's generally expected that the first gift a son-in-law gives his in-laws is on the more expensive side of things.

The Chinese don't care so much about its price/worth as they do wanting to see that you're making the effort to impress them and can care for their daughter and future grand children.

By giving something expensive you're saying, "Hey, I really care about this relationship and want to express this to you." By giving something small/cheap you're saying, "I really don't care." This is how they will/should/could interpret your gift.

[simonlaing]

What Kdavid says is true, espicially if the father-in-law comes from a successful background. Less so if they're not.

Think about flashy things like expensive watches, bracelets, Iphones (unlocked of course), these the the type of things that should status and would be good gifts.

Otherwise if you're a working stiff like me cheaper American things. Like mayple syrup, certain kind US brand of cigarrettes (though I am told most US cigarettes are weaker than chinese ones) . (I don't think they like menthols either). Even US snacks can be good like, peanut brittle and fudge.

Certain perfumes with a cool looking bottles. (Chinese don't really wear perfume often, but it is something to show others.)

Really nice shoes or accessories like ties can also work. Making it have a US flair will help as well.

Good luck,

SImoN:)

[cherrytea]

Watches is not a good idea I think, in Chinese, sending waches or clock is “送钟”， which pronounced the same as “送终(arranging for the burial of a deceased relative)”, that's taboos,especially to old men.

Similarly, umbrellas and pears are undesirable.

[roddy]

Could you not ask your wife?

[simonlaing]

I think sending a clock is bad, but I don't think a watch is that bad, shou biao 手表.

Yes ask you wife what her parents like. My in-laws like food and snack and I usually bring back chocolate or fudge from travels in Europe. The father likes NBA stuff . Roddy's point is good.

have fun,

SimoN:)

[Clueless99]

Hi all, thanks for the suggestions so far. I was thinking along the lines of small, but valuable, so sounds like I'm on the right track. The in-laws are from Wuhan, in their 60s, and have a comfortable income. My wife says she doesn't have any idea of what to get them, but I think she wants to see what I'll get without her coaching. She also says conflicting things like don't get them luxury items, as they are practical, and other times she says don't get them practical things because they can get them in China... I did send her mom perfume and her father a cashmere sweater a couple months ago; seemed like they liked them.