Married to a Chinese in the U.S.?

[mncuso]

I think the reason for the relatively few number of Chinese male / white female marriages is really quite simple: Chinese mother-in-laws.

I'm only half joking...

[Lu]

Meng Lelan--since Sunyata is arguing about numbers and since figures don't lie but liars figure, I thought I'd just watch him hoist on his own petard. (Two clichés in one sentence--not bad.) As for Asian men, if I had to pick the three handsomest of all the men I've known, they'd all be Asian and one of them would be one of my sons-in-law--beautiful (don't take that to mean effeminate; he's just beyond handsome), buff, strong, smart and street smart and a circus star.

As for ugly american women, I wonder what Sunyata looks like.

Sandra, I quite agree. I think Asian men are often much more handsome than white men (but not as tall... too bad for me).

My theory as to the why: I think Asian women are less emancipated then white women. Asian men, and also many white men, like women who 听话. White women are not very likely to do so, whereas Asian women are.

So, Asian men and many white men like Asian women, but white women don't really like Asian men, and Asian men think white women are too 厉害, and don't really like them. That's my theory as to why there are more wm/af then wf/am marriages.

[gao_bo_han]

Badboy,

The numbers I posted did not indicate that I was making such a calculation. But whatever...if you need to get the last word go for it. And once again, the DIFFERENCE between the two groups would be 50%, but the numbers are too low to make much of a fuss about. You still haven't disproved my initial point: the overwhelming majority of people in America still marry within their own race. But whatever, noone has seriously disputed this point, so I'll let it go. Oh, and don't kid yourself, we're both equally involved in this discussion, boy.

Watch out ladies! All of a sudden it's going to go from "american girls are ugly" to "please post your pic".

Bo Han

[badboy]

Oh man, not again. gao, you are hilarious.

I wasn't trying to disprove your initial point, so I don't know why you bring that up. All I said was you are incorrect in simply looking at the "number" of whites guys who marry white women vs. those who marry Asian women, without taking into account population differences. Which is what you did in your post. You still cannot get your facts straight.

According to the data you posted, there were 997,000 mixed race couples in 1980. This is too small? You are talking 181,000 white/asian couples vs. 121,000 white/black, and the 181,000 comes from a population group 3 times smaller than the 121,000. That not is significant?

I don't care what the percentage of all couples is, a million is a significant number.

And, if the data was too small to mean anything, why did you bother using it in the first place to back up your point? Duh.

So, if we were both equally involved in the discussion, guess I wasn't the only one with too much time on my hands...

[gao_bo_han]

Badboy says:

And, if the data was too small to mean anything, why did you bother using it in the first place to back up your point? Duh.

Heh...I used the data precisely to show the small difference. Given a population sample (in 1980) of 100 mixed race couples...12 would be black/white and 18 would be asian/white. Of course you're probably touching yourself over the fact that it is a 50% difference...just as if out of a 100 there were 4 asian/white and 1 white/black couple, you would be telling us it's a 300% difference. Wow!

My entire purpose was merely to disprove the notion that some giant abundance of white men in America are after Asian women; I said nothing about the number who marry Asians as opposed to blacks WITH REFERENCE TO POPULATION DIFFERENCES. Can you get this inside your brain? Basically, you picked out a subpoint from my argument and stuck on it, despite the fact that I NEVER DENIED THAT BIRACIAL MARRIAGES ARE DISPROPORTIONATE WITH REFERENCE TO POPULATION DIFFERENCES. Get it yet?

[badboy]

Argghh...

Well, you bring up a good point about white women outnumbering Asian women, but your argument would only be correct if the number of white men marrying Asian women is disproportionate compared to the number who marry white women...

Heh...I used the data precisely to show the small difference. Given a population sample (in 1980) of 100 mixed race couples...12 would be black/white and 18 would be asian/white. Of course you're probably touching yourself over the fact that it is a 50% difference...just as if out of a 100 there were 4 asian/white and 1 white/black couple, you would be telling us it's a 300% difference. Wow! ... I said nothing about the number who marry Asians as opposed to blacks WITH REFERENCE TO POPULATION DIFFERENCES.

Now, you compare the 18%-12% ratio, in which asian/blacks total 300,000 in a population of 1,000,000, to a scenario in which the population is 100 and the asian/black total is 4, and say I'm touching myself over it. Umm, no, I wouldn't be. There is a big difference between 30% of the total, and 4%.

We are comparing 180,000 to 120,000, out of 1,000,000. I say that is significant, and especially more so given the fact the 180,000 comes from a group that is 3 times smaller than the 120,000. Your intention to illustrate a small difference, without considering population, is totally misleading.

And even if population difference is not considered, look at it this way: If it was 200,000 to 100,000, 20%-10%, you would have said that whites are twice as likely to marry asians as blacks...shift the data 2 percentage points each way, to 18%-12%, and you call it a small difference.

Give it up dude.

[sfr@rcn.com]

Lu and Meng LeLan--This topic is suffering from TMT (too much testosterone) and I think I'm going to stop watching it. Also, the discussion is entirely from a male perspective. There has been no discussion of the reasons Asian women marry foreign men. What explanations do they give?

I think the reason for the relatively few number of Chinese male / white female marriages is really quite simple: Chinese mother-in-laws

I have some Chinese friends (Chinese-Chinese couples) who left China to get away from their obligations to the husband's family. And certainly, those obligations were a factor in the demise of my daughter's 7-year-long marriage to her wonderful Nanjing husband: they wanted to have kids, but he insisted that each kid spend his/her first three years in China with his mother. This was a major cultural stumbling block because she wanted to raise her own kids.

Sandra

[shibo77]

I predict that this thread will go as long as the "Chinese characters are objectively harder" thread....

-Shibo

[Meng Lelan]

Shibo- You may be correct, this may become a long-running thread. I wonder what Beirne, the originator of this thread, is thinking now. Still there, Beirne?

Lu - very interesting insights. I did suspect that there are certain expectations of women that some men may have.

Sandra - A divorce in the family can be a difficult experience, and I can see why you would choose not to follow this thread. However, I feel that this topic does need a place to be discussed and will continue to follow it.

Gao- Way off topic, but --are you in Austin?

[sfr@rcn.com]

Meng LeLan--

A divorce in the family can be a difficult experience, and I can see why you would choose not to follow this thread. However, I feel that this topic does need a place to be discussed and will continue to follow it.

It's very kind of your to understand the pain of a divorce, but that's not what has put me off this topic. It's the predominantly masculine point of view. As I said before, no one is asking Asian women why they do or don't marry (or otherwise hook up with) non-Asians.

Also, the discussion has degenerated to arguments about using statistics as well as rather primitive attempts to diss each other. And that's boring except for the players.

However, as you see, despite my resolution, I'm still watching this topic. And, for the nonce, will continue to.

Sandra

[sunyata]

ok, everything in order:

1. Learn how to use the damn quote function! it's not that hard, people...

2. badboi has you beat on statistics a 100% (no pun intended), so give it up gao_bo_han

now, in response to your comments directed at me:

Sunyata, for example, believes that "so many" American men marry "foreign brides" because American women are ugly. I think the figures here have at least widely debunked that claim. White people marry white people[/b']...the limited figures from 1992 at least show us that 95% of all marriages are still same race. Seems like lots of white men must be married to ugly women, eh sunyata?

How have your figures "widely debunked" my claim?? There is a difference between "American women" and "white women." In case you didn't think of it, there are also white non-american women who marry americans...Even if the ratio were a 100%, that still would not prove that 100% of the white married women in the US are American...besides, your statistics skills and the sources you use are as reliable as a prostitute...

Furthermore, in case you and the "white women" of this forum haven't noticed, my previous posts were heavily influenced by sarcasm...

Meng Lelan--since Sunyata is arguing about numbers and since figures don't lie but liars figure, I thought I'd just watch him hoist on his own petard. (Two clichés in one sentence--not bad.)

Dear Sandra,

First of all, why is the above quote addressed to Meng Lelan? I don't see a connection between her post and your response...Sure, if it suits your fancy, you can sit back and watch me "hoist my own petard", since you apparently don't have anything wothwhile to say in response to my advanced sociological theories, aside from your boring feminist remarks...

As for ugly american women, I wonder what Sunyata looks like.

You can see what I look like, if you bother to glance at my avatar...Now it's your turn to post up a picture. I would guess that I probably look better than you, but then again, I am just "figuring"...Who knows, a jewish grandmother may beat me when it comes to good looks

[Meng Lelan]

1. Learn how to use the <expletive deleted> quote function! it's not that hard, people...

I just did, and not only that, I modified your quote to save Roddy the trouble of doing so.

[badboy]

LOL...Meng, damn is not a bad word.

[Meng Lelan]

Badboy-

You're entitled to your opinion. I just wanted to show off my ability to quote and edit.

[sunyata]

good for you! hope the rest can follow your example...

you have indeed saved Roddy a lot of trouble - give yourself a pat on the back

[roddy]

I'm not going to close this because someone said a possibly bad word. I'm going to close it because it's become a complete waste of time.

Roddy