Dashan - Solo Xiangsheng /大山 - 单口相声

[student]

I've been working through one of Dashan's routines,

http://hk.youtube.com/watch?v=QzzpQWSU354&feature=related

Some commentators included the transcript, but it does not seem to be completely accurate.

I'd very much appreciate anyone reviewing and correcting the text.

Thanks very much!

***

大山 - 单口相声

说这个笑话呢来自于台湾。

这个有一小孩儿呢，大概七，八岁，

问他爸爸说：

什么叫生气，

什么叫愤怒，

什么叫发疯，

什么叫哭笑不得。

这爸爸一听，怎么问这么一个问题呀，

哎，这还不好解释呢。

干脆，我给你演示一下，哎，对了，我一演示，你就明白了。

他呢拿起了电话，随便拨打了一个电话号码。

对方一接，挺礼貌的：

您好，这里是林公馆. 请问，您找谁?'。

爸爸说了：

'我找周润发'。

对方：'我们这是林公馆。请问，您找哪位呀'。

爸爸：'麻烦您帮我找一下周润发'。

对方：'您是不是没听清楚，我们这儿是林公馆'。

爸爸：'您无论如何帮我找一下周润发，好不好'。

这对方说：'你是不是??出来的呀'，就给他挂了。

爸爸说：你看，对方现在在生气。

那么什么叫愤怒呀，我再给你演 示一下"。

爸爸拿起了电话，还是拨打这个电话号码。

对方一接，：

您好，这里是林公馆. 请问，您找谁?。

爸爸说：我找周润发。

对方：你什么毛病呀。 我们这是林公馆，你听清楚了没有。

爸爸：麻烦您帮我找一下周润发，好不好。

这回对方用了一句台湾话：找你娘的头。

爸爸说：你看，现在对方在愤怒。

那么什么叫发疯，我再给你演示 一下。

拿起了电话，还是拨打这个电话号码。

这回对方可生气了，

我告诉你，这叫骚扰，你知道吗。

你要是再敢 打这个电话，我要叫警察了。

爸爸非常平静的说：

您好，请问，这是林公馆吗?。

对方：哎唷，对不起，对不起。非常抱歉，非常抱歉。

因为刚才来 了几个骚扰电话，

我以为又是一个，非常抱歉，非常抱歉。

哎，请问 ，您找谁?。

爸爸：我找周润发。

爸爸说：你看，现在对方在发疯。

那么什 么叫哭笑不得呢。

我现在再给你演示一下。

拿起了电话，还是拨打这个电话号码。

这回对方更生气了：

我跟你 说，我现在就要叫警察，我跟你没完了。

爸爸非常平静的说：

你好，我是周润发。

请问，有人找我吗。

爸 爸把电话放下说，：

对方在哭笑不得。

[randall_flagg]

Sorry, didn't read through your script, but watched the video. THAT was funny!

But...is it just me or does he sound a bit off? There were a few instances when he did have a bit of a 外国强, me thinks. (Or may be attributed to the malicious side of me trying to look for mistakes!)

(SORRY, this is not a helpful post, but I'm too tired...)

[imron]

What he probably had was 外国腔

[randall_flagg]

True, true....I am using the google input system, by the way, and its so great that I don't even check what I'm typing anymore. Google knows everything. Heck, when you install it, they even ask you if you agree that they basically monitor what you are typing, so that they can always update their input algorithms (I said NO, of course). But Google doesn't know 外国腔， which is strange. 京腔 comes out alright. Mmh...

[student]

Randall,

Thanks very much for your comment. I see in looking through the archives that you discovered Dashan back in 2005,

http://www.chinese-forums.com/index.php?/topic/71-interesting-websites14

I'm glad you found the video funny.

In any case, I'd still appreciate it if you or someone could just check the text against what you hear him saying.

Thanks!

[Meng Lelan]

Oh that video is a gem. Thanks for finding it for us, I may save it to use for my intermediate class when I teach various states of mood.

[student]

OK, I was probably unrealistic in posting such a large quantity of text, when only a few sections are actually causing me difficulty in matching the transcript to the audio.

So let me ask about a first example. I've attached an audio of a short clip; according to the transcript, this says:

这爸爸一听，怎么问这么一个问题呀，

I can hear the part before the comma, but after that I can't match what I hear with the transcript.

Is it my ear that is too slow, or is the transcript in need of correction (and if so, what should it be)?

Thanks very much for any help you can give me!

Dashan Solo XiangSheng 009.mp3

[roddy]

It's there, although I can't pick out the 个.

Audacity will let you slow these down without changing the pitch, which might be useful. Distorts it a bit, but not that bad - example attached.

Dashan Solo XiangSheng 009 slow.mp3

[student]

Wow! I've been a fan of Audacity, but I hadn't realized it could do that!

Thanks!

[aristotle1990]

爸 爸把电话放下说

should be "轻轻地把电话放下说".

Does anyone know what the hell Dashan's saying at 1:40? Is it "你是不是板桥出来的"?

[huaxia]

Does anyone know what the hell Dashan's saying at 1:40? Is it "你是不是板桥出来的"?

yes, it sounds like that. but I have no idea what it really means. (me being a native speaker from the southwest part of China.)

[chrix]

It's a suburb of taipei. It's like living in new jersey instead of manhattan...

[huaxia]

It's a suburb of taipei. It's like living in new jersey instead of manhattan...

Even though, what is the meaning "between lines" here? Even though I feel in this context it should imply that people from there tend to ignore what others have said to the least, or probably 喜欢抬杠, I've never heard people use this expression to indicate this meaning. maybe I should check with my Taiwanese friends.

[aristotle1990]

Finally, the answer! From

:

台灣的板橋有美麗的林家花園， 在這場表演所在的新加坡也有個板橋，不過大山指的是那裡有精神病院。