wanting a beautiful foreign girlfriend(beijing)

[ABCinChina]

I grow tired of all the Chinese girls who chat me up online, and say they'd be perfectly happy to do cooking, cleaning and just being there agreeing to anything

I've heard that line before and it only lasts so long. Then after a year or so, you ask them what happened to all that stuff you said and they reply, "我不可能跟剛開始那時候一樣熱情吧？". Damn it!

[flameproof]

My favorite line is:

4,Can make love with me,And loyal to husband(This is China's traditional)

It doesn't really go well with another great Chinese tradition - the barber shops with the blue windows and pink lights.

[ABCinChina]

Are you saying that it is "China's traditional" for husbands to visit these "pink barbershops" while expecting the wife to be faithful?

[Meng Lelan]

Five pages of this thread and no word from forestinger?

[gougou]

I'm sure he's checking his email account(s?) several times daily.

[forestiger]

谢谢大家的发言，非常感谢。（写的有些多了不好意思）

由于从美国引发的金融危机，我正在努力在公司工作，所以不能及时联系大家。因为努力工作，就能有好的回报。由于我英语水平有限和时间关系，我只能用中文表达我的意思了，很抱歉。我糟糕的英文很有可能表达不出真实的意思。（我会关注大家的意见的）can you do me a favor if you have double language ability and free time(Translate the following sentence)——Thank you very much.

Thank you for everyone.Im busy working at my company(day and night) .Because from the economic crisis in the United States.so i haven't time to Timely Contact with you.（work hard can earn more.haha），because of my bad english ability,and the time reason。so ,I can only write Chinese to express my views.sorry.I'll be back.

1.我爱大森林(forest),因为那里宁静，与自然融合。我喜欢老虎(tiger),因为老虎是孤独的兽中之王。合起来，就是forestiger。这不是什么fake（not fake).

2.从小的方面说，西方女孩，像宝石一样的蓝眼睛很吸引我，这是最吸引我的地方。（也许我会因为这一个喜欢，失去我许多幸福）从大方面说，不同的文化，有不同的性格和思维。这种不同，等于从一个世界到另外一个世界。

我想，第一条可以维持我们的婚姻10年。第二条，我想可以维持这不易的婚姻一生。————必须有孩子。这是一个婚姻成功的一个重要要素。

3.西方女孩的非常自我，任性，性开放（Western girls. Self, self-willed, sexually open）。这是我们中国家庭最不接受的，我最担心的（This is I am most worried about）。（可能是我们不了解西方吧！也许是对西方的偏见）

4.我不是骗子，相反，我反倒害怕有人骗我。但正像有人说的那样，成功率太低了。1%也许。因为这样的女孩很少。

一.年龄小，又孤单。在北京的这样的外国女孩很少。

二.大部分是工作才来北京。工作完就走，心不在中国。（主动权在西方）

三.如果没有在中国生活20年以上的准备的话，这种跨国婚姻只有一个结果——失败。我不认为中国有这样的吸引力：

西方人眼中的中国文化，并不是全面的中国文化（看到的只是好的一方面），我们中国人有许多不足（劣根性），就像我们中国人有许多人认为西方（western)很好，但到了那之后，也有许多不可接受的东西。——文化冲突我没有体会过，也许很可怕。（有这样一个电影叫：撞车Crash(2004)）

4.我不想信什么romantic.婚姻是非常非常现实的,需要牺牲，而不是自我。相信romantic正是西方人的离婚率比东方要高的主要原因。

Marriage requires to sacrifice not Egoism. i dont believe romantic.Marriage is very, very realistic.

5一个良好的婚姻，是建立在接受对方的基础上的。不光是对方，还有对方的爸爸妈妈、爷爷奶奶、哥哥、姐姐、弟弟、妹妹。接受对方的民族，接受对方的国家。接受对方的短处，接受对方的不足，包容对方。一个只想着向对方索要的婚姻，不是幸福的婚姻。

6就上楼上的朋友说的那样，我是一个dreamer。说的没错。现实对我很严峻，钱虽然是肮脏dirty的。但我要尽快挣钱养家。养不起家的男人，不是个真正的男人。

困难虽多，但男子汉，敢说出来，就要敢做出来。如果真有这样的外国女孩来找我，我会用生活的勇气面对任何生活的挑战。这才是生命的意义。

不管怎么说，我会在今年尽力找一个女孩为伴——不管是中国，还是外国（因为我是一个男人）。我希望会是一个外国的。中国超过西方是几十年之内就会做到的。因为中国崛起，正是西方衰落的时候。就如同罗马Roman的衰落是伴随着日尔曼Germanic country崛起一样。任何国家都有辉煌和失落的历程。而我将亲眼经历这一过程。中国在1840年之前一直是世界上最富有的国家，看不起世界上的任何人（至少有上千年的时间我们认为我们是最优秀的国家），直到1984年被Anglo-Saxon人的英国打败之后失去了傲气，在随后的100年里，由一个自信的国家变成了一个自卑的国家。而现在，这个国家在以惊人的速度自信起来。我敢说，只要任何一场对外战争External War 就会让这个国家的民族主义(Nationalism)推向极顶，而我想说这个结果，一定是中国必胜（这不是向各位挑衅，而是我的看法，请大家民主的对待）。我不希望我的孩子只有自我的中国主义，而没有西方的思维。换句话说，我想找的western girl的本质，是想要她的思想。一个没有东西方文化观的人，不会在这个世界走得太远。民族之间如果不学会融合，那就会走向极端的法西斯Fascism之路————中国是有这个条件的(China has the conditions)（我不告诉你为什么，呵呵 I Wont tell you why,haha）。

大道理是大道理（哲理是哲理），两人走在一起不能全靠热情，还要靠一个字“缘”。没有“缘”是不会有结果的(This is chinese romantic)。也许，这只是我一厢情愿吧，呵呵。

还是那句话：“蓝眼睛(blueyes)。我想知道，蓝眼睛(blueyes)里到底藏了什么。”

做白日梦的——中国小子

[gougou]

如果没有在中国生活20年以上的准备的话，这种跨国婚姻只有一个结果

Have you considered going abroad? That way, you would get Western thought without having to find a girl.

Also, you say that marriage is very realistic, but that you are a dreamer - maybe you should wait a while before you marry?

[ABCinChina]

I like reading his English explanations of stuff more! It is so much more moving and impacting, wouldn't you guys agree?

Unfortunately, it would be hard for him to go abroad as it takes quite a lot of money for Chinese nationals to go abroad. (He's young and stated that he is currently poor) Unfortunately I agree that there's very few beautiful and young white women with blue eyes that will be willing to come to China, be with a Chinese man, and sacrifice all for "World Peace" though it is such a noble idea. Unless he is truly a price charming or has movie star good looks, then I don't think his chances are so great. But still wish him the best of luck!

我敢说，只要任何一场对外战争External War 就会让这个国家的民族主义(Nationalism)推向极顶，而我想说这个结果，一定是中国必胜

I like this quote and think it to be true. For a nation to be strong, (unfortunately) the people must have the idea that they are able to conquer other nations and that they are the best. Examples would be America almost eradicating the American Indians & Japan who killed millions of other Asians (mainly Chinese) in the name of blind nationalism. Yet, some Westerners get all riled up when it comes to issues like "Free Tibet!".

[gato]

A translation with the help of google:

http://translate.google.com/translate?prev=hp&hl=en&u=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.chinese-forums.com%2Fshowthread.php%3Ft%3D27840%26page%3D3&sl=zh-CN&tl=en

Thank you' date=' everyone. Thank you very much. (Wrote a little too much and a bit embarrassed).

Because since the United States triggered the financial crisis, I'm trying to concentrate on work and haven't had to respond promptly. From hard work, we can have good returns. Since my English is poor and time is limited, I will only put my words in Chinese for now. I mean, I am sorry. My bad English might not be able to express my true meanings. (I will pay attention to your views).

can you do me a favor if you have double language ability and free time(Translate the following sentence)——Thank you very much.

Thank you for everyone.Im busy working at my company(day and night) .Because from the economic crisis in the United States.so i haven't time to Timely Contact with you.（work hard can earn more.haha），because of my bad english ability,and the time reason。so ,I can only write Chinese to express my views.sorry.I'll be back.

1. I love forest, because it is quiet and integrated with nature. I like tiger because it's the solitary king of the animal world. The two combined makes "forestiger". This is not a fake.

2. From a small perspective, West girls' blue eyes are like precious stones. It's a most attactive feature to me. (Perhaps I will lose a lot of happiness because of this). From a larger perspective, different cultures have different personalities and thinking. It's like going from one world into another. I think this can keep our marriage going for 10 years. The second condition -- maintaining a marriage is not easy ---- is that we must have a child. This is an important element to a marriage's success.

3. Western girls are very strong-willed and sexually open. This is something that is hard for Chinese families to accept and something that I worry about the most. (Maybe we do not understand the West. Or are biased against it.)

4. I am not a liar, on the contrary, I rather fear being lied to. But just as someone said, the chance for success is too low. Perhaps only 1 percent. Because this kind of girl is so rare.

(1) Young and lonely. A foreign girl alone In Beijing.

(2) Most came to Beijing to work and will leave after work. Their hearts are not in China. (Their motivation is in the West.)

(3) If you are prepared to live in China for more than 20 years, such cross-border marriage will have only one result - failure. I do not think that China is yet that attractive:

Westerners only have a partial perspective of Chinese culture (what they see is usually only the good) -- we Chinese also have many deficiencies that deeply rooted -- just as many Chinese think the West is very good. When you have a closer view, there are many unacceptable things.

(4) I don't have any experience with culture clash. It may be terrifying. (There is a film showing this called Crash (2004))

(5) I don't believe in so-called romanticism. A marriage is a very, very realistic thing. It requires sacrifice, not Egoism. I believe that romanticism is the main reason that Westerner have a higher divorce rate.

5, A good marriage is built on the acceptance of each other. On the other side, there is not only the partner, but there are also parents, grandparents, brother, sister, brother, sister. Accept each other's culture, accept each other's countries. Accept each other's weaknesses and accept each other's deficiencies, tolerant of each other. A marriage that has only demands on a partner is not a happy marriage.

6. A friend said above that I am a dreamer. He is right. My reality is grave. Money is dirty, but I would like to earn money to feed their families as soon as possible. A man who cannot provide for a family is not a real man. Difficulties are numerous, but a man must dare to do what he dares to say. If the foreign girl I mentioned really comes into my life, I will face life's challenges with courage. This is the meaning of life.

In any case, I will make every effort this year to find a female partner - whether Chinese or foreign (because I am a man). I hope that she will be a foreign. China will surpass the West within decades because China is rising as the same time as the West is declining, just as the decline of Rome was accompanied by the rise of the Germanic nation. Every country's history has its periods of glory and periods of decline. I will be personally witness the process. Before 1840 China had always been the world's richest country and looked down on everyone else (at least for a thousand years, we thought we were the best country in the world), until China was defeated in 1884 by the Anglo-Saxons and lost its arrogance. In the subsequent 100 years, a national self-confidence became a national inferiority complex. And now, this country is experience in an alarming rise in self-confidence again. I dare say, in the event of an external war, the country's nationalism will rise even much higher. In the event of such war, China will win (not a provocation, but just my opinion; please treat it with an open mind). I do not want my children to be China-centric and not be able to think in a Western way. In other words, I'm looking for a Western girl because I'm interested in her essence and her mind.. A person without an understanding of both Eastern and Western cultures will not go too far in this world. If you do not learn cultural integration, it will go on the extreme path of Fascism ---- China has those conditions for such a possibility (I won't tell you why, haha).

Principles are principles (philosophy is philosophy). The bond between two persons does not depend only on enthusiasm but also on "fate." Nothing happens without "fate". (This is Chinese romanticism). Perhaps, this is only my wishful thinking. Hehe..

"Blue eyes, I would like to know what's hiding behind the blue eyes."

Day Dreamer - China Guy[/quote']

[Lu]

4,Can make love with me,And loyal to husband(This is China's traditional)

It doesn't really go well with another great Chinese tradition - the barber shops with the blue windows and pink lights.

Why not? The women in the barbershops are usually not married, so what's interfering with the wife being faithful?

(This sentence is why I'm predicting this man will be sleeping around from day 1.)

[CapnKernel]

ABCinChina said:

Then after a year or so, you ask them what happened to all that stuff you said and they reply, "我不可能跟剛開始那時候一樣熱情吧？". Damn it!

Then there's "you're no fun anymore" but I think that's not restricted to one culture.

Disclaimer: This year I've been 20 years with my Chinese wife. She's awesome.

[Meng Lelan]

forestiger does have a lot of thoughts as we see from his message.

[CapnKernel]

forestiger does have a lot of thoughts as we see from his message.

That he does, but the problem is that to the prospective Western girl he'd like to win, he may as well be saying "must be willing to be dragged from cave to cave by your hair". No girl's ever going to go for it.

[Lu]

Dunno, there must be someone out there who'd enjoy that, the trouble is finding her (and hoping no other guy has won her heart & hair yet).

[sirenbear]

In my experience, the type of Western girl who is interested in dating a Chinese guy (a guy who has grown up in China) is usually somewhat more unconventional and open-minded than the typical person. Unconventional and open minded usually equals independent and non-traditional. This leads me to believe that OP has, well, slim chances....(need I state the obvious).

for sure there are western gals interested in Chinese guys, and I am one of them. but informal questioning of my peers has told me that the majority (70-80%) do not see Chinese guys as boyfriend material (though I believe this is changing, and will continue to). Personally, I find it somewhat weird to NOT be attracted to a whole nationality, but it seems to be that way for a ot of western women, for various (I think mostly sociological) reasons.

it's an interesting topic to me, given that the reverse situation (western male, chinese female) is so common.

[imron]

Here's an interesting article regarding a study as to why this is the case.

Relevant quote from the article:

Women of all the races we studied revealed a strong preference for men of their own race: White women were more likely to choose white men; black women preferred black men; East Asian women preferred East Asian men; Hispanic women preferred Hispanic men. But men don't seem to discriminate based on race when it comes to dating. A woman's race had no effect on the men's choices.

Two wrinkles on this: We found no evidence of the stereotype of a white male preference for East Asian women. However, we also found that East Asian women did not discriminate against white men (only against black and Hispanic men). As a result, the white man-Asian woman pairing was the most common form of interracial dating—but because of the women's neutrality, not the men's pronounced preference.

[Lu]

Women of all the races we studied revealed a strong preference for men of their own race (...) But men don't seem to discriminate based on race when it comes to dating.

Yet, almost every mixed-race couple includes both a man and a woman dating someone of a different race. I suppose then the woman is with this man despite her strong preference, and the man doesn't care which race the woman is of.

This could also mean that there would be almost no mixed-race lesbian couples, and a lot of mixed-race gay couples. I wonder if that's the case.

Personally, I find it somewhat weird to NOT be attracted to a whole nationality

I think that's just a matter of preference. Some people like blondes, or men with beards, and some like white people. I'm 1.80m, and I wouldn't initially be attracted to a man much shorter than me. Not that I would never, ever, under any circumstances, date such a man, but he would have to try a lot harder before I'd consider him a potential boyfriend. Same for white women and Chinese men, I think: if they would meet a man they'd grow to like despite him being Chinese, I'm sure they'd get over their aversion. But the chances of such a suitable man trying that hard to be with her are slim.

(Hell, even white women who are attracted to Chinese men have a hard time finding one for themselves.)

[sirenbear]

I think that's just a matter of preference. Some people like blondes, or men with beards, and some like white people. I'm 1.80m, and I wouldn't initially be attracted to a man much shorter than me. Not that I would never, ever, under any circumstances, date such a man, but he would have to try a lot harder before I'd consider him a potential boyfriend. Same for white women and Chinese men, I think: if they would meet a man they'd grow to like despite him being Chinese, I'm sure they'd get over their aversion. But the chances of such a suitable man trying that hard to be with her are slim.

well, I think the difference though is that you not wanting to date a shorter man is a physical preference...whereas I think western women not wanting to date Chinese men goes beyond the physical, because not all Chinese men look the same.I think it also has to do with the stereotypes out there of Asian men, the fact that western women are usually more well-off financially than Chinese men, (which can both intimidate some Chinese men and turn off some western women). it also might be a physical thing as Chinese men TEND to be slighter and shorter than men from other countries, but that's not always true.

the other factor I thought of is that Chinese women are expected to "marry out", and Chinese men are not. I've noticed that Chinese men are attracted to western women (just speaking generally here, not about myself:wink:) but they would be a little intimidated/wary to approach unless they are a.) relatively well-off, b.) looking for a very casual relationship.

of course, there are lots of exceptions and I know several western women who have been in long term relationships with Chinese guys (as I'm sure we all do).

[imron]

Yet, almost every mixed-race couple includes both a man and a woman dating someone of a different race. I suppose then the woman is with this man despite her strong preference, and the man doesn't care which race the woman is of.

Or more likely that race isn't a factor for everyone (either at a concious or subconcious level).

[Lu]

Or more likely that race isn't a factor for everyone (either at a concious or subconcious level).

Now that I think of it, saying 'men don't care about their partner's race, women want a partner of their own race' doesn't make sense. What is interesting is what percentage of men/women cares a lot/a little/not at all about their partner's race.

Sirenbear: I think you're partly right, and it's partly for socio-economic reasons that there are so few white women with Asian men, but interesting is that it seems that many overseas Chinese men also don't date white women, while overseas Chinese women do date white men. Case in point: a huaqiao friend of mine has three sisters, and all four sisters are together with local, white men, while their one brother is married to a Chinese woman. From the top of my head, I can think of only one or two huaqiao men who are with a white woman, while I know many more huaqiao men with huaqiao or Chinese girlfriends, and huaqiao women with local, white boyfriends (and also some huaqiao women with huaqiao boyfriends. The one huaqiao women I knew with a Chinese husband got divorced a year after marrying...)