A Question About Chinese Marriage

[Achell A]

Really really, it is not 1880's now.

I am from countryside. But when my brother got married, he almost gave no money to my sister-in-law's parents. Because her parents said they were not selling daughter, they didn't require payment.

My parents said they wouldnt ask for money too, as long as i will be happy with the man i choose.

I am really from a village in the middle of nowhere, but see, our villagers dont even "sell" daughter. So why they do in Hong Kong?

Ask your gf about her real purpose of marriage~

Achell

[gravitate]

Well she isnt my GF we already are married. I am going up to meet her parents for the first time this week end. any ideas for presents???? I am STUCK

[Lu]

Have you checked the various 'what presents do I bring for my Chinese in-laws/friends/relations' threads? You might find something useful there.

[heifeng]

Really really, it is not 1880's now.

Anyway, 彩礼钱 still isn't that uncommon even in modern times though. Here's an interesting article I found in which the couples parent's-in-law apparently argued over the amount quite a bit. (the kiddies then secretly married anyway) But now for the real question, can you get it back...or for the ladies, must you give it back if things sour?!?

我家收的彩礼钱用不用退回给男方？

Edited December 10, 2009 at 05:14 AM by heifeng
haha sorry linked wrong article..too many windows open at once heh

[gerri]

But now for the real question, can you get it back...or for the ladies, must you give it back if things sour?!?

Good question. (Somewhat rhetorical, maybe, but anyways...)

Getting it back seems not to be uncommon; giving it back if... seems not to be the usual things, as divorce seems more likely to end with the woman not getting anything more from her ex, plus the taint of being a bad, divorced, used goods-kind of woman. (Mind you, I'm in a very traditionally thinking part of China - can you tell? ;) )

[chrix]

the article linked by heifeng is very interesting and has all the legal facts...