Seeking Corrections for Exam Answer

[Nephand]

Dear all,

Long time no post!

I have my Chinese exam tomorrow. It's just a beginner's course so it's nothing too taxing, but I know what the written questions are likely to be and I'm hoping you guys can correct my answer!

I'll post the second answer later once I've written it but this is the first - it's supposed to be an invitation letter so any tips on correct letter formatting please do share:

亲爱的 ~~，

你好吗?

请你参加五月三十日的生日聚会在中国饭店. 那天是我爸爸的生日. 他是五十三岁. 我家和朋友参加. 我们吃中饭也蛋糕. 我们从晚上八点半吃晚饭, 然后我们喝酒也听音乐.

你的朋友,

~~~

Yeah, it is meant to be that basic. If there's anything wrong, please correct it! I wasn't sure about the opening "Dear..." and closing "Your friend..."

Many thanks in advance,

Neph

[Nephand]

Ok, this is the second answer. It's meant to be in pinyin, so I've included both pinyin and characters (because reading pinyin is a pain in the backside but the point of this one is to get the tones right!). Please correct as you see fit!

wo3 gen1 ba4ba, ma1ma zhu4 zai4 ~~~. wo3 jia1 yi2gong4 you3 si4 kou3 ren2. wo3 jia1 you3 ba4ba, ma1ma, jie3jie he2 wo3, hai2you3 liang3 zhi1 gou3. gou3 you4 ke3ai4 you4 da4. wo3 ba4ba shi4 yi1sheng1, ye3 wo3 ma1ma bu2zuo4 gong1zuo4. wo3 ba4ba mang2 shi4 mang2, dan4 hen3 gao1xing4. wo3men de fang2zi li2 da4xue2 hen3 yuan3. wo3 zai4 man4che4si1te4 da4xue2 xue2xi2 ri4yu3 he2 han4yu3.

wo3 mei3tian1 liu4dian3ban4 qi3chuang2, ran4hou4 gen1 ba4ba qi4che1 qu4 man4che4si1te4. wo3 cha4yi2ke4 ba1dian3 dao4 da4xue2. cong2 ba1dian3 dao4 jiu3dian3 wo3 fu4xi2 ri4yu3, ran4hou4 wo3 you3 ri4yu3de ke4. ri4yu3 tai4 nan2 le! zao3shang4 de ke4hou4 wo3 gen1 tong2xue2 chi1 wu3fan4. da4xue2de fan4 bu4 hao3chi1. xia4wu3 wo3 xue2xi2 huo4 han4yu3 huo4 ri4yu3. wo3 san1dian3ban4 xia4ke4. wo3 gen1 tong2xue2 yi4qi3 qu4 ka1fei1guan3. dao4 si4dian3ban4 wo3men shuo1 ri4yu3. wu3dian3 wo3 ba4ba kai1che1 song4 wo3 hui2jia1. wan3shang4 wo3 chi1 wan3fan4, ye3 fu4xi2 hai2shi4 kan4 dian4shi4. shi2yi1dian3 wo3 shui4jiao4.

wo3 de ai4hao4 shi4 xue2xi2 wai4yu3. wo3 hui4 shuo1 fa3yu3, ri4yu3, xi1yu3 he2 yi4dianr3 han4yu3. han4yu3 nan2 shi4 nan2, dan4 hen3 you3yi4si.

zai4 man4che4si1te4 you3 duo1 ka1fei1guan3 ye3 bo2wu4guan3. mei3zhou1 wo3 qu4 kan4 dian4ying3, hai2qu4 mai3 dong1xi. man4che4si1te4 ji2 hao3 le!

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我跟爸爸,妈妈住在~~~. 我家有四口人. 我家有爸爸,妈妈,姐姐和我,还有两只狗. 狗又可爱又大. 我爸爸是一声,也我妈妈不做工作. 我爸爸忙是忙,但很高兴. 我的房子离大学远. 我在曼彻斯特大学学习日语和汉语.

我每天六点半起床, 也我跟爸爸骑车去曼彻斯特. 我差一刻八点到大学. 从八点到九点我复习日语,然后我有日语的课. 日语太难了! 早上的课后我跟同学吃午饭. 大学的饭不好吃. 下午我学习或汉语或日语. 我三点半下课. 我跟同学一起去咖啡馆. 到四点半我们说日语. 五点我爸爸开车送我回家. 晚上我吃晚饭, 也复习汉语还是看电视.十一点我睡觉.

我的爱好是学习外语. 我会说法语,日语,西语和一点儿汉语. 汉语难是难,但很有意思.

在曼彻斯特有多咖啡馆也博物馆. 每周我去看电影,还去买东西. 曼彻斯特极好了!