花心的感觉

[SOOHK]

Hello people! I am happy to join this forum.

And please excuse me, but of course I have a question now.

Just now I was chatting with a nice girl I met during the weekend.

Nothing special. We had lots of nice topics to chit chat about and so on.

Anyway, she just told me that I give her the feeling of 花心. Now, I can speak, read and write a little bit of Chinese. However, I am not quite sure what to make of this.

My first guess would be: I give her the feeling of a player. Then I thought maybe it's someone who is just talking sweet things to reach a certain goal.

During our chatting, she sometimes mentioned herself being not beautiful etc. Which I denied and said that she is beautiful - which resulted in her saying that I give her 花心的感觉.

I really like this girl, and wouldn't want her to think bad of me just because I try to sweet-talk.

Hope you people can help me with this one.

花心的感觉

[Hong XQ]

I'd say being 花心 means you are some kind of player/beau.

I heard it as preemptive scolding at a would-be husband:

-to make sure he stays 老实 enough

-to point out how bad it is to stray from 一辈子只爱一个人.

I can only think of 西門慶 who certainly counts as 花心, and got beat to death for it (but he had it coming); there are certainlyy tons of places in litterature and general culture to enlighten us more on the meaning of this: anyone?

[leeyah]

someone who is just talking sweet things to reach a certain goal

I really like this girl, and wouldn't want her to think bad of me just because I try to sweet-talk

Yes, that's what the words mean, 花心 is used for men who don't have emmm ... decent intentions with girls & also for husbands who cheat on their wives (花心丈夫) so, yes, you can even translate it as 'playboy' >> she said she thinks you're just playing with her feelings.

You say she thinks of herself as not very pretty so it's very likely that she has some kind of girlie complex and finds it hard to believe a guy can truly fall in love with her, because well, men do 'fall' only for pretty girls, don't they (or am I mistaken?)

But, seriously Chinese girls like to play, too, and this may be her tactic, you know, the old fashioned ‘playing hard to get‘. Whatever, if you really like her, I'm sure you'll know what to do....

Edited August 10, 2009 at 09:43 PM by leeyah

[SOOHK]

Thanks a lot for your responses.

First of all, she is pretty, modeling and all that stuff (so it's is not only my own point of view).

She is probably playing the "modesty"-game with me, where she tells me how ugly she is etc. and then wants me to say that she's pretty.

I hope I can convince her that I am an honest guy and not trying to play with her feelings.

I will talk to her again about this. =) Thanks for your help so far!

[Papaya]

Your intuition was totally right about the meaning of 花心的感觉

[SOOHK]

That's good. I am trying to clarify myself now. Still guessing she is playing a little bit with me.

[SOOHK]

One thing that just came to me~

Does she maybe ask this question to get a certain response?

A response in the direction that I might fancy her?

I know you can not tell me what she thought by asking me this.

Just want to know if its generally possible. Haha, I am sure I make myself crazy about this girl at the moment.

[gato]

She's just testing to see if you are marriage material. Don't have a heart attack now. Hehe.

[Lu]

She might like you, she might not, she might not be sure yet. She's talking with you and you two have a lot to talk about, you say, so the least you can say is that she is not averse to your company.

Talk to her more often, see if you two get along, then ask her out. In the end, the only way to find out if she likes you is to tell her how you feel and ask what she thinks.

Good luck!

[HashiriKata]

You two seem to be already engaging in a kind of game, so I must say the signs are good .

[SOOHK]

Thanks people! You are very nice and give me enough self-confidence that I am on the right track.

She said she might be coming to HK this Sunday, with her mom!

I will see how that goes, anyway, she said if she comes to HK she will definitely meet me.

[SOOHK]

Haha, ok she called me 傻.

Google translated it as "stupid".

I know Chinese people are easy on the name calling (pig, etc...).

So please, how may I interpret this?

She wrote me after I wrote her that I like her. 喜欢她.

[HashiriKata]

Haha, ok she called me 傻.

So please, how may I interpret this?

She wrote me after I wrote her that I like her. 喜欢她.

Keep posting! All signs are good!

[SOOHK]

Ok, I've had a good talk with her last night.

Apparently, she just broke up with her boyfriend a short time before I met her.

所以还是先做朋友比较好啊 is what she said. She could have left out the 先, though.

Also, she mentioned 可是现在对我来说还是学习比较重要. So I told her I'll be her personal English teacher - 我也希望我英文能好点.哈

认识你之前分手了

所以我真的很怕感情

[muyongshi]

Wow... chinese-forums truly is a soap opera in itself.

My advice is different that hidden12345. While I agree with his premise, in my own personal experience, it's best to just pretend kind of distant while still hanging out/talking all the time. Then to just spend a lot of time with them, without making any moves, NO comments, etc and then eventually she'll get to the point where she just starts getting kind of pouty. Don't respond, let it go on for awhile and then when she starts getting angry for no reason, play it up and then suddenly move in for the kill.

My experience is that if you go for it now, you may very well push her away.

[gato]

You are giving away your game, guys. There are females on this forums.

[muyongshi]

You are giving away your game

I don't have any game. This is just what my friends told I should have down.

[SOOHK]

Why are hiddens posts gone?

Problem about hanging out is that I live in Hong Kong and she lives in Shenzhen.

So during the weekend I will try to meet her again.

The signals she gave me during our first two encounters were genuinely positive.

I mean, she had asked me if I wanted her to send me back to Hong Kong - while she knows that I could do it myself, she really offered this to me. And while we were there, she sent me all the way to where us foreigners get our passports checked. All around were the promises that we'll see each other again soon. Now I am not sure if I maybe told her too quickly that I like her. Anyway, the truth is out and she doesn't seem to be reluctant as well, otherwise she could just ignore me. And given the fact that we talked openly about this issue yesterday, I am content that I might still have a chance.

I think I will still contact her as much as before and care about her well-being.

Next time I meet her I will see how it goes and how she approaches me.

The last times, I was almost as far as to reach for her hand as she was walking really close to me. I am kinda shy, so I could hit myself for not doing it.

My assumption would be that I need to show her I am not one of those foreigners who walk around China doing it with every girl they meet. I guess this could be a long process.

[roddy]

Why are hiddens posts gone?

He deleted them. Original question has been answered and I don't believe we need a generic 'how to get a girlfriend' topic, hence closing. Try here if you like, or you can all PM the OP your wisdom. Comments and complaints.