Correct My Grammar - Gai Cuo Ju

[丽丽_Jinlei]

Can anyone who is really fluent in Chinese correct my grammar for the following:

有两个门。 一个门在无积极性留给开放对经验生活，集会与药物，暴力一次不尽的游行结果，并且其他事烂用，不用关于一个给他们自己不仅带来的损伤，但是损伤的重新考虑被造成对社会从这样行动。 另一个门是闭合的，在这个门之后是这个头脑增长更加明智新的经验的画廊，并且梦想实现。 以这个机会在中国学习我们给绝密的此被带来了。 我们必须现在打开门以刺激，刺激成功，相信那坚苦工作的刺激，不用欺诈，并且暴食付清与胜利。 是，坚苦工作，为什么认为它是去是容易？ 请让您的主要宗旨是您的研究，当它得到压倒多数时，拿一个呼吸装置，参观采取中国长城的呼吸，然后回到您的与一个敏锐的头脑的研究。 您将想念您安提瓜岛的家庭，但是不丧失信心。 中国充满您可以发现的许多友好的人民您能关连对，允许您创造自己您自己的中国家。 好事情是全部可能的，终究它是 `同一个世界，同一个梦想’。 对今年中国奖学金接收者，这关于必须做的 和不必须做的快的笔记。 请在中国交中国朋友，他们将做您的逗留一更加舒适一个，参与与朋友的令人愉快的活动，并且首先，请保持集中在您的研究。 不要跟随所有人群，我们不需要适合对所有生活的经验，不在等待巨大事附近发生坐，鼓励他们通过改善的质量耐力发生。 最重要，不要放弃，因为那可能混乱和恐惧在那里提醒您，那某处那里更好是某事，并且那某事值得战斗为。

必须收受所有礼物充满谢意，并且这奖学金授予短小是没什么，因此给安提瓜岛的政府，中国政府，我们中国奖学金授予接收者希望明确表达恳切感谢您们。

Thanks a lot/.

Lili

[Guoke]

Did you really write it yourself?

Or maybe......Google Translate did it for you?

[Kenny同志]

I am not able to read it.

看不懂

[丽丽_Jinlei]

Oh dear is the grammar that terrible. No worries. I'll seek professional help if it's unreadable here.

[Kenny同志]

词语、句子夹缠不清，非常混乱，根本没法读！

在下言语过于直白，望姑娘原谅。

Edited August 12, 2009 at 12:16 PM by kenny2006woo

[gato]

Here is a google translation from Chinese to English of what you posted above. Does it look like what you typed in originally? Hehe.

http://translate.google.com/translate_t#

There are two doors. Active in the absence of a door left open to the experience of living and assembly, and drugs, violence, the results of an endless procession, and other bad things, and not on one to bring not only their own damage, but damage was caused to reconsider community from such action. The other doors are closed in the door followed by a more sensible growth in the minds of the experience of the new galleries, and a dream to achieve. The opportunity to study in China to the top-secret, we were brought here. We have now opened the door in order to stimulate and stimulate success, I believe that hard work to stimulate, not fraud, and paid with the victory of gluttony. Yes, hard work, why is it to be easy? Let your main purpose is to your research, when it received an overwhelming majority, the use of a breathing device, visit the Great Wall of China to take a breath, and then back to your mind with a keen sense of research. You will miss your family in Antigua, but do not lose confidence. China is full of you can find many friendly people you can link that allows you to create your own in their own countries. Good thing is all possible, after all, it is `One World, One Dream '. Of this year's scholarship recipient, which must be done on and do not have to do the fast notes. Please pay in China, Chinese friends, they will make your stay a more comfortable one, and friends to participate in enjoyable activities, and first of all, keep focused on your research. Do not follow all the people, we do not have suitable experience for all of life, not waiting for a great ride near thing, encourage them by improving the quality of endurance occurred. The most important and not to give up, because that may be where the confusion and fear to remind you that somewhere there is something better and something that is worth fighting for.

Must be accepted with gratitude all gifts, and it is nothing short of scholarships awarded, the Antigua government to the Chinese government, we hope that the Chinese scholarship grant recipient clearly expressed sincere thanks to you.

[muyongshi]

Perhaps let us know what it is? Is it something you just wrote? Or is it something you tried to translate?

If it is something you tried to translate put the original here and you can be helped easier.

What is it supposed to say would help someone help you a lot too!

[丽丽_Jinlei]

gato

The grammar I know is horrible, but even if it was perfect, translators will never translate what one is trying to say in a sensible way. So it'll never look like the original script.

No worries, I wrote the english speech and just ran it through a translator, and then corrected things that didn't make sense to me. Just telling me that there are still tons of remaining errors is big help.

Anyhow, I'm trying to translate my english into chinese word for word now. Fun.

Edited August 12, 2009 at 11:45 PM by imron
single width text

[丽丽_Jinlei]

Oh here's the self written Chinese version, it's copywrited until Friday. lol. I have to read the thing tomorrow. Those people just chose me to write a speech in last minute. Crazy people. *shakes head* What's a girl to do?

有两个门。一个门进去的时候能得到暴力和贪污（tānwū）， 这样不只对自己不好，还对社会不好。另一个们是闭合的。 进去的时候，可以得到好事情。是在这个门之后才能让梦想实现。以这个机会在中国学习，我们给绝密(juémì)的此被带来了。我们现在必须利用刺激打开门，为了成功我们应该是有动机的。我们也要相信是努力工作才能有胜利。不要骗自己， 也不要一直靠别人帮助你做事。我们学生，要让我们第一个主要是我们的研究， 当有才多压力的时候，休息一下吧。参观新的地方，我推荐（tuījiàn）中国的长城吧，非常好玩儿。 休息以后，你回去努力学习。你当然会想念的安提瓜家， 但是不要丧失(sàngshī)信心。 在中国有很多好人， 他们都愿意帮助你。你有中国朋友，你就有一个家。有好态度的话，不同的国家 可以平静地住在一起。终究(zhōngjiū)它是 `同一个世界，同一个梦想’。对今年中国奖学金接收者(zhě)，这关于必须做的 和不必须做的快的笔记。请在中国交中国朋友，他们会让你的生活一更加舒适（shūshì）， 有时候跟朋友们出去玩儿，并且首先，请保持（bǎochí）集中在你的研究。不要跟随所有人群(qún)，我们不需要适(shi)合对所有生活的经验(jīngyàn)，不要等待(děngdài)巨大事自己发生，你要自己去做事才能得到报答（bào da）。 最重要，不要放弃，因为在学习的时候，如果你感觉恐惧，那也是好的， 因为恐惧是为了让你记得更好的某事肯定存在，并且那某事值得(zhíde)战斗(zhàndòu)为。

必须收受所有礼物充满谢意，因此对安提瓜的政府，中国政府，我们中国的奖学金接收者希望明确表达恳切(kěnqiè)感谢您们。

Edited August 12, 2009 at 11:47 PM by imron
single width English text

[muyongshi]

Ok, now we're to the point where it is understandable! See you are smarter than a computer

[丽丽_Jinlei]

Haha. Okay. Well, the English is a bit more explained, all my metaphors / personifications I had to remove them as I can't write like that in Chinese. So you'll see a lot of straight forward Chinese sentences. For instance, in my English I had:　"One door left open to experience life in apathy, an endless parade of partying with drugs, violence and other things profane, without a second thought about the damage that one not only brings to themselves, but the damage caused to the society as a result from such actions". 　and the Chinese for that I just simply put:　一个门进去的时候能得到暴力和贪污（tānwū）， 这样不只对自己不好，还对社会不好。 　

Tons of changes!

Anyhow, it doesn't have to be exactly the same. I just want to reduce grammar errors. (If it is simple and boring is not my concern, I should have been given more time to organise myself. Think they forgot I work. LOL)

Edited August 12, 2009 at 11:51 PM by imron
single width English

[丽丽_Jinlei]

Okay, well are there still tons of grammar errors? You guys needn't correct it if you don't want to, just highlight the areas in red and I will tackle it myself.

Thanks.

Edited August 12, 2009 at 11:51 PM by imron
single width English

[Kenny同志]

有两扇门。迈进一扇门，你就迈进了暴力和贪污，不只对自己不好，还对社会不好。另一扇门是关着的（I cannot quite understand it），但迈进这扇门可以让美好的梦想实现。我们现在必须打开这扇门，为了成功我们应该奋斗。要相信努力工作才能胜利。不要骗自己，也不要总是依赖别人。我们学生，最重要的学习，但压力大的时候，也可休息一下，游览新的地方，我推荐中国的长城，非常好玩儿。 休息以后，再努力学习。你当然会想念在安提瓜的家，但是不要失去信心。 中国很多人都很友好，都乐意帮助你。你有中国朋友，你就有一个家。态度友好，不同的国家的同学能和睦相处。对今年中国奖学金接收者，这关于必须做的和不必须做的快的笔记(I do not understand this.)。多交中国朋友，有了他们你的生活会更愉快。有时候跟朋友出去玩儿，但不要忘了学习。不要等着天上掉馅饼，自己要积极主动。 最重要，不要放弃，学习时如果感觉恐惧（are you terrified when learning something?），那也是好的， 因为恐惧是让你把东西记得更牢。

必须收受所有礼物充满谢意，因此对安提瓜的政府，中国政府，我们中国的奖学金接收者希望明确表达恳切感谢您们。(I am not sure whether you will deliver this speech on behalf of all the scholarship recipients or not, if so you can say: 我代表所有获中国奖学金的同学衷心地感谢安提瓜政府和中国政府，but this is not considered appropriate )

Notes: I erased some sentences that do not make sense or are not understandable.

It is better that 丽丽 post the original English text so that better revised Chinese or translation is possible.

[丽丽_Jinlei]

Okay thanks a lot Kenny:

Here's the English, some things I wanted to say in Chinese I couldn't so there are some differences:

There are two doors. One door left open to experience life in apathy, an endless parade of partying with drugs, violence and other things profane, without a second thought about the damage that one not only brings to themselves, but the damage caused to the society as a result from such actions. The other door is closed, behind this door is a gallery of new experiences where the mind grows wiser and dreams come true. With the opportunity to study in China we have been brought to this closed door. We must now open the door with motivation, motivation to succeed, motivation to believe that hard work, without cheat and gluttony pays off with triumph. Let your main objective be your studies, when it gets overwhelming, take a breather, visit the breath taking Chinese Great Wall, then with a clear mind, return to your studies. You will miss your Antiguan family but do not despair. China is filled with many friendly people whom you may find that you can relate to, allowing you to create yourself your own Chinese home. With a positive mind, mixed nations striving together is all possible, after all, it’s ‘One World, One Dream.’ To this year’s Chinese Scholarship recipients, here’s a quick note on the do’s and don’ts. Do make Chinese friends; they’ll make your stay in China a more comfortable one. Do engage in delightful activities with friends and above all, DO stay focused on your studies. Don’t follow all crowds, we needn’t fit in to all of life’s experiences, don’t sit around waiting for great things to happen, encourage them to happen through quality endurance for betterment. Most importantly, don’t ever give up because the confusion and fear that you may be feeling is there to remind you, that somewhere out there is something better, and that something is worth fighting for.

All gifts must be accepted with gratitude, and this scholarship award is nothing short of, so to the Antiguan Government, Chinese Government, we the recipients of the Chinese Scholarship Award would like to articulate a sincere thank you.

[Guoke]

为你付出我的一点绵力......:

There are two doors. One door left open to experience life in apathy, an endless parade of partying with drugs, violence and other things profane, without a second thought about the damage that one not only brings to themselves, but the damage caused to the society as a result from such actions. The other door is closed, behind this door is a gallery of new experiences where the mind grows wiser and dreams come true.

有两扇门，一扇通向冷漠，充斥着毒品和暴力，损人利己的凡俗世界；另一扇是关闭的，门后是一个让你体验新生活，增长智慧和实现梦想的世界。

With the opportunity to study in China we have been brought to this closed door. We must now open the door with motivation, motivation to succeed, motivation to believe that hard work, without cheat and gluttony pays off with triumph.

去中国求学的机会把我们引到这扇关闭的门前，现在我们必须凭借一股推动力--追求成功，并相信努力不懈而不欺骗和贪婪也能让你成功的推动力--来推开这扇门。

[semantic nuance]

有两扇门，一扇通向冷漠，充斥着毒品和暴力，损人利己的凡俗世界

Guoke, it might be a typo or you typed in too fast, it should be 損人不利己 from the context.

The other door is closed, behind this door is a gallery of new experiences where the mind grows wiser and dreams come true.

另一扇門雖是關閉的, 但在門後是一處可令你體會嶄新經驗, 使心智更聰慧,且夢想得以實現的殿堂.

Don’t follow all crowds, we needn’t fit in to all of life’s experiences, don’t sit around waiting for great things to happen, encourage them to happen through quality endurance for betterment.]

不必盲從隨俗, 不必一定要樣樣生活體驗都融入.別只是枯坐空等好事臨門, 要有堅忍不拔以求進步的毅力來敦促好事的降臨.

Edited August 13, 2009 at 08:01 AM by semantic nuance

[Kenny同志]

有两扇门。 一扇门敞开着，等着你的是在冷漠中生活，永远与毒品、暴力等丑恶为伍，毫不考虑这些行为对自己、对社会造成的危害。 另一扇门是关着的，门内有各种各样的新体验等着你，在这里，人会变得聪慧，梦想可以成真。 来中国学习的机会把我们带到了这扇关着的门前。 我们现在必须要做的是用我们渴求成功的动力，用老实学习，按部就班，努力最终会有好结果这一信念给我们的动力，来打开这扇门。 把学习作为主要任务。压力大，透不过气的时候，就歇一歇，去参观一下壮美的长城，然后带着清醒的头脑回去学习，一定会事半功倍。 虽然你会想念在安提瓜的家人，但不要灰心丧气。 在中国，很多人都十分友好，大可结交，你可以组织一个“中国家”。 只要态度积极，不同的国家共同努力也完全可能，毕竟“同一个世界，同一个梦想。”今年获得中国奖学金的同学，我们来简要看看一下“几要、几不要”吧。 要和中国人做朋友，有了这些朋友，在中国的日子会更愉快。 多和朋友一起玩，但千万别忘了学习。 不要跟着所有的人学，没有必要fit into all of life’s experiences。 不要干等好事发生，要下苦功，不断坚持，促使好事发生。 最重要的一点 —— 不要因为困惑、害怕失败而放弃，因为他们会提醒你，你可以做得更好，努力奋斗是值得的。

接受礼物一定要心怀感激，这份奖学金不能不说它是一份礼物，因此我们获得中国奖学金的同学想对中国政府和安提瓜政府诚挚地说声谢谢。

The translation is not as good as it can be, but I have tried. For 丽丽's reference,lol.

Any suggestions are welcome!

[丽丽_Jinlei]

No Kenny, it's great. You did a wonderful translation. Are you asian or are you european/western? You know the language well, I can't wait to reach at that level. I did the speech earlier this morning, it went well.

I had a Chinese fellow read it this morning. So many thanks again. Although the local people in my country have no idea what it's saying, the Chinese people that are in my country do. So I'm glad I didn't sound like a rambling idiot.

Oh this was the last post I read before the final speech:

有两扇门。迈进一扇门，你就迈进了暴力和贪污，不只对自己不好，还对社会不好。另一扇门是关着的（I cannot quite understand it），但迈进这扇门可以让美好的梦想实现。我们现在必须打开这扇门，为了成功我们应该奋斗。要相信努力工作才能胜利。不要骗自己，也不要总是依赖别人。我们学生，最重要的学习，但压力大的时候，也可休息一下，游览新的地方，我推荐中国的长城，非常好玩儿。 休息以后，再努力学习。你当然会想念在安提瓜的家，但是不要失去信心。中国很多人都很友好，都乐意帮助你。你有中国朋友，你就有一个家。态度友好，不同的国家的同学能和睦相处。对今年中国奖学金接收者，这关于必须做的和不必须做的快的笔记(I do not understand this.)。多交中国朋友，有了他们你的生活会更愉快。有时候跟朋友出去玩儿，但不要忘了学习。不要等着天上掉馅饼，自己要积极主动。最重要，不要放弃，学习时如果感觉恐惧（are you terrified when learning something?），那也是好的，因为恐惧是让你把东西记得更牢。

必须收受所有礼物充满谢意，因此对安提瓜的政府，中国政府，我们中国的奖学金接收者希望明确表达恳切感谢您们。(I am not sure whether you will deliver this speech on behalf of all the scholarship recipients or not, if so you can say: 我代表所有获中国奖学金的同学衷心地感谢安提瓜政府和中国政府，but this is not considered appropriate )

Notes: I erased some sentences that do not make sense or are not understandable.

It is better that 丽丽 post the original English text so that better revised Chinese or translation is possible.

From that post, here's the final speech, only a few additions:

有两扇(shàn)门。迈(mài)进一扇门，你就迈(mài)进了暴(ban)力和贪污（tānwū），不只对自己不好，还对社会不好。另一扇(shàn)门是关着的。但迈(mài)进这扇门可以利用好机会。是在这扇(shàn)门之后才能让美好的梦想实现。因为已经有这个美好的机会，我们现在必须打开这扇(shàn)门，为了成功我们也应该奋斗（fèndòu）。要相信努力工作才能胜利。不要骗自己，也不要总是依赖（yīlài）别人。我们学生，最重要是学习，但压力大的时候，也可以休息一下。游览（yóulǎn）新的地方，我推荐（tuījiàn）中国的长城，非常好玩儿。 休息以后，再努力学习。你当然会想念你安提瓜的家， 但是不要失(shī)去信心。中国很多人都很友好，都乐意帮助你。你有中国朋友，你就有一个家。态度友好，不同的国家 的人能和睦（mù）相处。终究(zhōngjiū)它是 `同一个世界，同一个梦想’。对今年中国奖学金接收者(zhě)，你必须做的 和不必须做我来简单说一下。多交中国朋友，有了他们你的生活会更愉快。有时候跟朋友出去玩儿，但不要忘了学习。不要等着天上掉馅饼(xiànbǐng)，自己要积极(jījí)主动。 最重要，不要放弃，因为如果你学得很累，你要记得黑暗(hēi'àn)中總(zǒng)有一線(xiàn)光明。

必须收受所有礼物充满(chōngmǎn)谢意，因此对安提瓜的政府(zhèngfǔ)，中国政府，我们中国的奖学金接收者希望明确表达恳切(kěnqiè)感谢您们。

I will continue to use all of the advises for reference. Thanks to everyone's input. I am so grateful.

[Kenny同志]

I am happy that my:wink: translation was helpful.

By the way, I am a native Chinese speaker!

lol