Deep Thoughts [Warning: This post is 100% parody]

[animal world]

This thread is to share with you my growing disillusion with studying Chinese to the point that I’m contemplating to ditch it.

My problem with Chinese is that it lacks imagination. Here are a few easy examples of what I mean: West Lake, Big Lake, East Mountain, North Capital, South Capital, East Capital, Four Rivers … It’s all so plain-vanilla, so common, … a little banal. China, it appears, wasn’t built on rock and roll. Do I spend hours a day studying Chinese for THIS?

[watches over her shoulder to make sure no Chinese people are around and lowers her voice to a conspiratorial whisper]

Don’t hold me wrong; I have nothing against the Chinese. They are fine people. Even one of my best friends is Chinese! But their culture and language strike me as a little commonplace. Therefore, it rankles that they have the gall to postulate that their language is such that no Westerner can ever become fluent in it. Surely, they must be out to lunch.

Now, let’s compare the paucity of the Chinese language to the creativity we have applied to our English language here in the US. Let’s stick to the topic of geographical names. We have Tallahassee, Mississippi, Lake Okeechobee. See, none of that dull Westlake-y business for us! We have Los Angeles, the Sierras, Yosemite... Even a rat-hole in Wisconsin we endowed with the glorious name of Prairie du Chien. I could go on and on. These American names are so beautiful that they travel over your tongue as smoothly as a strawberry milkshake on a hot summer day. Now, that’s language! Hurray for English!

I just love the language here in this splendid country under the good old Stars and Stripes. This country is beautiful from San Diego, California, all the way to Cape Breton, Nova Scotia.

My previous edit was to add the warning to the title of this thread.

Edited November 27, 2009 at 11:27 PM by animal world

[chrix]

there's plenty of colourful geographical names in Chinese (lots and lots of obscure characters only used in geographical names) and plenty of dull geograhical names in English too (Westlake, and naming cities after Catholic saints (San Diego, San Francisco, Santa Barbara) or settlers' hometowns (Nieuw Amsterdam) doesn't strike me as too colourful either! Or have a look at how creative subdivision developers can be.. NOT!).

What you gave above is what I'd call a skewed sample

Since when has Nova Scotia been under the Stars and Stripes?

[b_t_v]

Springfield IL, Springfield WI, Springfield IA, Springfield TN...d'oh!

[numble]

A lot of those places you listed are loanwords from other languages (Native American ones, Spanish, etc.), they aren't English. English takes Los Angeles from Spanish just like Chinese takes 洛杉矶.

If you want to see creativity in Chinese, look at the names of Chinese foods.

[liuzhou]

So, all the really interesting names in English come from other languages.

Thank you for your 'contribution'.

Some of your best friends are Chinese? That's what every racist says. If those are your deep thoughts, I'd hate to hear your shallow ones.

Edited November 27, 2009 at 04:49 PM by liuzhou

[chrix]

Also since I've been a 成語迷 for the past few months, this aspect of the Chinese language does strike me as far from banal actually...

But I do have a feeling that you meant all this quite tongue-in-cheek, so I'll leave it at that

EDIT: Also, what East Capital are you referring to?

[animal world]

I make a note to myself never to use humor again at this site. My ENTIRE post was parody. It was a BLATANT parody on bigoted, narrow-minded people with nationalist tendencies who are often ignorant and completely wrong* in their narrow arguments that supposedly prove their superiority over other races and other cultures.

ALL the names i used were non-English, i.e. native-American, Spanish and French. Shouldn't that have told you something? I deliberately used Novia Scotia knowing full well that it is not part of the US. But thanks anyway for pointing this out to me.

The line "even one of my best friends is Chinese" is a take on the often used "even of my best friends is Black" that some people used to say as an excuse after spewing hateful racist remarks (as if any Black would wish to associate with someone like that).

Since i've failed so miserably at writing humor, why don't you write something in that genre and let me judge it at face-value? liuzhou? btv? chrix?

[chrix]

Well I did think it was partly tongue-in-cheek.. but that's the problem with written communication... you don't get the undertones... (might I also remind you of this thread )

Yeah this isn't a humour site, so I won't make an attempt at writing a humorous post.

I guess this post should be moved into the chatting subforum...

PS: as far as Nova Scotia goes, the US did invade Canada in the War of 1812. I don't recall the details, how far the Americans advanced, but who knows, maybe Nova Scotia was under the Stars and Stripes for a while, but I doubt it...

Edited November 27, 2009 at 05:17 PM by chrix

[liuzhou]

So, you think repeating racist stereotypes is humour?

So funny! Er, not at all.

You have failed, yes. Blatantly.

(and retroactively editing and changing the thread title doesn't excuse anything,)

Edited November 27, 2009 at 05:43 PM by liuzhou

[Meng Lelan]

It's a free country here in the US, you have the freedom to ditch Chinese. Not even the administrators of this forum can force you to learn Chinese.

[abcdefg]

I make a note to myself never to use humor again at this site.

I've learned the same thing the hard way. It just doesn't work, no matter how obvious and well done it is. Only way is to sprinkle in lots of silly animated "smiley faces" and things like (ha!ha!) which detract from the prose.

ADD/EDIT: When speaking you can use facial expression, hand gestures, body language and such to convey implied meaning being different from what was actually said. When writing, you don't have that luxury, though I'd have thought that

[Warning: This post is 100% parody]

would have done the trick.

Edited November 27, 2009 at 05:56 PM by abcdefg

[chrix]

Not even the administrators of this forum can force you to learn Chinese.

this somehow conjures up an image of roddy standing behind you and yelling at you "learn more Chinese! Learn more hanzi! And get your bloody tones right, or I'll call the

!!!"

[renzhe]

I get an image of roddy saying "This is the most comfortable language you have ever learned. You will feel like speaking it all the time."

[Meng Lelan]

I envision roddy being sued by numerous litigious Americans disgruntled by his (fill in your choice of 形容词) claims of comfortable Chinese learning.

[querido]

Outlawing the apostrophe in the name of inclusiveness. <

Rejecting particular values in the name of tolerance for all values. <

The flexibility of English and the ability and willingness of its speakers to *be* flexible (understanding, using, absorbing, owning as English-in-effect any useable word, in effect over time *being* open minded and tolerant) transforms the original post into an unintended triumphant celebration of English! << Very funny.

By the way, with regard to the Chinese language, I'm here to absorb it too, unless it absorbs me first. Tap, tap... Hey, is this thing on?

[xianhua]

I've learned the same thing the hard way. It just doesn't work, no matter how obvious and well done it is

I know what you mean. I suspect it's due to having a wide range of nationalities with differing sense of humours.

[Lugubert]

Also, what East Capital are you referring to?

I guess 东京 (Tokyo).

[chrix]

東京 is not in China... (and the 東 refers to its geographic location within Japan, since the old capital 京都 is in the West)

[heifeng]

I dunno, I get a few chuckles out of this site daily. The funniest things here are probably those posts that are unintentionally funny though...heh

[chrix]

引用:

[Warning: This post is 100% parody]

would have done the trick.

The warning was added later by the OP.