How do I make a Chinese guest welcome in UK

[richardk]

Hi, for my work I have a Chinese lady (26 yrs old) from Beijing who has never left China before coming to UK for work training. I will meet her at the airport and she will stay at my home with me and my wife for the two weeks she is in the UK. This will be a big cultural change for her and I would like to know a few "do's" and "don'ts" so that she will settle in quickly. Typically things like food, sleeping arrangements and general well being. She can write english OK and I have spoken to her on the 'phone and her english is passable. Any help appreciated.

[BFC_Peter]

Speaking from personal experience regardless of where the person is from, you may find it a little uncomfortable having a 'stranger' in your house, it can seem difficult to relax!? so be prepared for that - maybe, it's because we don't want others to see that we're just couch potatoes!

Personally I suggest she has her own space in the house, i.e. her own room, but equally she should feel she can wander anywhere. No doubt she'll be curious, but she may not be so forward even when asked directly. In fact when discussing issues like politics they tend to say little unless they know they are with friends.

My wife is Chinese and is from Shenzhen, where she had everything that I have and more (apart from an automatic washing machine!), so there's not much difference for her when living here.

She always had a more significant breakfast than I ever bother with, although she's now just eating fruit like me otherwise she has to cook it herself. She also had a daily routine of hand-washing some of her clothes, sometimes in the morning and sometimes last thing at night.

In my experience, Chinese people don't seem to be as self-conscious as we are (ok, I am!) when doing something that is quite different - e.g. eating with chopsticks. Nevertheless, for her first meal I would have some 'English' Chinese food and have everyone try to use chopsticks.

I am sure that the Chinese food we eat will be quite different from the food that she is used to eating, so try to have as much choice as possible. Chinese people seem to eat less meat and more vegetables than we do. Fruit is very much the same, but vegetables can be a little different.

My wife was used to taking a nap at lunch-time, as she had a 2hr lunch break, and it's a habit she's still not broken. In fact, she goes to bed (10pm) and gets up earlier (6am) than I do. Also, my wife usually has delayed jet-lag, and feels quite tired a couple of days after she comes back over here.

Typically Chinese women drink very little alcohol and do not smoke so if her English is not good then the typical noisy smoky British pub is something to be avoided. The equivalent in China is a meal in a restaurant, I would look for one that has some traditional English food.

No doubt you will try to include her as much as possible, and if you get any free time I suggest taking her to see some of the sights - London is first choice IMHO, but there are lots of other places to see.

Hope I have been of some help, but remember everyone is different!

I hope everything goes well.

[richardk]

Many thanks - it is very useful advice. We live close to London so sight seeing will not be a problem.

[MarkFail]

My chinese friend moved in with me about 3 months ago.

From personal experience i did find that alot of things for example, english humour is very difficult for them to grasp.

I remember a number of ocassions where you try and break the ice with a joke and it just makes things worse!

(possibly my jokes were just THAT bad! )

I do find how ever if you make them feel welcome, introduce them to people and make them feel involved they soon settle in.

Just make them feel at home and treat them the way you would expect to be treated and you cant go wrong.

Good luck and i hope she enjoys her visit.

mark fail

[roddy]

Take a trip to Chinatown - seriously, I reckon it might be interesting for her and if you time it later in her stay she can get some of the decent Chinese food she's missing (dont' take her to your average UK high-street Chinese restaurant, it'll be a huge disappointment)

Lots of photo taking and present buying opportunities. I'd avoid the big and noisy pubs and bars unless she expresses an interest, but a nice pub lunch in a pleasant beer garden somewhere in the Home Counties wouldn't go astray (or is that just my stomach talking . . . )

Edit: And another idea - anything with wildlife. Chinese zoos are generally pretty poor - a Safari park, decent zoo, falconry center would be pretty cool.

Roddy

[badboy]

Well, after considering Roddy's search phrase of the month, the only thing my warped mind can think about in reply to this are the possibilities for a threesome...

[Yang Rui]

I've got quite a few Chinese mates studying in England, and they have generally adjusted quite well, although they don't seem to like the pub that much.

All of them absolutely love Edinburgh, so if you could get up there for a weekend, i think your Chinese friend would never forget it.

Cambridge is another top destination - masses of very English buildings to have your photo taken in front of. A peaceful afternoon punting down the Cam and feeding the ducks will be unlike anything she has done in Beijing, where there is no wildlife or pretty little rivers. If you're on the other side of London, Canterbury or Rye are alternatives - anything really English will do.

In my experience, Chinese people are much more attentive of their guests than the English, so don't necessarily assume that she will want lots of her own space, or lots of time on her own to rest. It might come across as being unfriendly.

But on the other hand, her trip to England should be a cultural experience, so there's no need to build a little corner of Beijing in the home counties, or give her chopsticks to eat with. On the whole, i wouldn't worry too much - when i had Chinese friends to stay, i just showed them where everything was so they could make their own cups of tea etc, told them to treat the place like their own home, and before i knew it, they were happily lounging round with their feet up watching Changing Rooms.

[amperel]

try karaoke

[richardk]

This is very reassuring, thanks. And if she heard me singing in the shower she would be off Karaoke for life !!

[Guest Yau]

be aware of the meaning of "no". CJK (chinese, japanese and korean) tend to say "no" when they want to say "yes", and say "okay" when they think it's an unfavourable suggestion.

I remember the funny experience in europe. My new friends said they bought me a drink as i was a student. Then I reservedly said "thanks, no no" which was interpreted as polite response in china. What i expected was that they repeated the invitation again, and I would kindly accept it. But they didn't, and just let me sleep alone in a dorm.

[richardk]

In the West its only Women who never say what they mean and you have to carry a Crystal Ball to help you!!