Please Help - Gift Ideas

[yuanfen89]

I will be staying with a family of a friend from my university for my first five weeks in Beijing before starting my study abroad program. This is obviously an amazingly kind gesture by the family and I plan to bring at least one nice gift for the family as well as treat the family to dinner during my first week.

I am hoping to bring a gift that would be (culturally/personally) meaningful? Being from America, I'm thinking about what type gifts would be special to bring over from the USA. Any ideas/suggestions?

I am from upstate New York (but relatively close to New York City) and thought about bringing something significant from my home state. I went to the city last week stopped at the transit museum where they have all types of items with the iconic subway map on it. I ended up buying an apron because it had the best view of the map. At risk of sounding culturally incompetent - Is this something that would be used? Also, my Chinese professor told me that refrigerator magnets are a novelty that would be fun to bring over. True?

Thanks!

[xianhua]

The key is to get something unusual that you won't readily find on the streets of China. The subway-map apron should certainly fit that bill. Other ideas off the top of my head: a NY tie, a NY paperweight, candy/chocolate in a nice presentation tin (Hersheys?), a decent bottle of locally-renonwed alcohol. Most of these could probably be purchased from your airport on departure I guess. Just make sure the box looks nice.

As for the meal out, be prepared to fight with your hosts over who pays as they will probably insist on paying. Our solution is to find a reputable restaurant first and then pay beforehand. This may or may not be practical in your situation though.

Edited January 4, 2010 at 10:27 PM by xianhua

[pumpkinlily]

I think a "I love NY“ T-shirt might do, it is really popular in China, and Im sure they will be excited.

[jbradfor]

As for the meal out, be prepared to fight with your hosts over who pays as they will probably insist on paying. Our solution is to find a reputable restaurant first and then pay beforehand. This may or may not be practical in your situation though.

Or just fight with them for a bit but be prepared to lose.

Personally, in this situation, I think it would be really awkward for you to actually treat them to dinner. While you may think that they are doing you a big favor and you owe them a lot (to which I would agree), from their POV you are their guest -- and a guest from a different country at that! -- and as such it is proper for them to treat you. Maybe towards the end of your stay with them you could, but I would recommend against trying in the beginning.

Edited January 5, 2010 at 03:12 AM by jbradfor

[jobin]

unfortunately, in my experience, you will never know if they like your gift. they will accept it, put it behind the sofa, and never to you say another word about it. certainly they will not open it in front of you. that's my experience. booze, candy, art works, novelties, pictures, clothing, etc. all the same. this is the tradition so be prepared to be ignored (your gift, that is)

[xiaotao]

American ginseng

[knadolny]

I went to the city last week stopped at the transit museum where they have all types of items with the iconic subway map on it

I like that idea. I think the key is to find something that is Made in America and unusual. I think something locally produced would be good. Maple syrup might be in your area?? I think food is always nice because it has a better chance of being used (i.e. eaten).

I brought some American whiskey once to my wife's family. They loved it. I went for the more expensive Kentucky Bourbon and got it tax free on my way over. Wine might be another good idea. A Finger Lakes wine might be a nice local item?

[abcdefg]

unfortunately, in my experience, you will never know if they like your gift. they will accept it, put it behind the sofa, and never to you say another word about it.

That's an interesting cultural observation and I really didn't know it was the norm. I've given gifts several times and the recipients seemed genuinely grateful and made a fuss about how much they liked them. Of course, maybe they were only the exceptions to the rule.

I'd be interested in hearing the experience of others here. Am also wondering if it could it be a generational thing or related to other similar variables.

[LongwenChinese]

That's an interesting cultural observation and I really didn't know it was the norm. I've given gifts several times and the recipients seemed genuinely grateful and made a fuss about how much they liked them. Of course, maybe they were only the exceptions to the rule.

I'd be interested in hearing the experience of others here. Am also wondering if it could it be a generational thing or related to other similar variables.

Chinese people traditionally consider it rude to open gifts in front of the gift-gaver. More and more people are aware of the American way, though.

[yuanfen89]

Thanks all for the suggestions!

In the end here is what I am bringing:

-Calendar with pictures from my area

-NYC subway map apron

-Hershey's Chocolate

-Pure Vermont Maple Syrup

I'm most excited about the maple syrup because I think I will try to make pancakes at some point. Of course if I can find all of the ingredients!

Thanks for the interesting input about taking the family out to dinner. I figure I will try to at least make the offer at the beginning, and if I am not successful, then I will do something at the end of my stay. My Chinese professor, who I respect a lot, was pretty adamant about treating them during my first week so I will do my best to make that happen. Of course, I don't know if I have the vocabulary to win an argument like this

Off to Beijing in just under 13 hours!

[Xiwang]

Have a safe trip. Best wishes on your new adventure.

[abcdefg]

Unsolicited travel advice: Remember not to put the maple syrup in your carry-on bag. Security will make you toss it out unless the quantity is very, very small. And pack it well in your checked bag so that it doesn't burst and get everything else sticky.

PS -- It won't be difficult to find the ingredients for pancakes in Beijing.

Edited January 10, 2010 at 06:07 PM by abcdefg

[knadolny]

If you really want to pay for the meal, a trick I used when living in China would be to excuse myself to use the bathroom and then go and pay the bill. Then when the bill wouldn't come, they would figure out it has already been paid but by then it's too late!

[isela]

Ah, this is too late...

But in my humble opinion as one native Chinese,

- Wine will work for older people/respected ones (parents, teacher, etc).

- I Love NY T-shirt will work for youths, as this is really popular

- Candies and Food will work for everybody.

The others didn't get me too excited...

Have a good staying in Beijing!

[doraemon]

Whatever you do, don't give them a clock as your gift (I know that's unlikely to happen), since it's a taboo practice in China.