Questions about Life in China

[Rysiek]

Hi all,

I am an American student and am going to study in Beijing for a year starting this coming Fall. I've never been to China, so have no idea what to expect. I would very much appreciate some information from people living there.

1) My wife is fat, at about 5'6" and weighing 350 pounds or so. Should she expect harassment in China? I understand there is going to be stigma associated with it, likely more than in the United States, but that's unavoidable nowadays. However, what I'm concerned about is how likely are things to be simply too small? Things like chairs in restaurants, offices, busses, etc.? Bathroom stalls, shower cabins, etc.? I'm sure buying clothing is going to be even more of a pain than in the US, but thankfully there are websites cropping up now that don't charge arm and a leg for "plus sizes."

1a) What of getting around the city? I.e. does one have to walk everywhere, or is public transportation decent? Even if it is decent, are bus stops far in between? Are there places to sit down and rest on the streets? Are multi-storied buildings likely to have working elevators?

2) I hear big scary stories about water being unsanitary, which extends to food made with such water (or would it all be boiled in the process of making food?). I can live with boiling water; I had to do that here not too long ago when e. coli was found in the reservoir, but I am concerned about eating at restaurants that might not do that. Are there health regulations that apply to restaurants? Are they enforced? Is this all a big scare that somehow only affect sensitive American stomachs?

3) What can one expect from living accommodations in Beijing? It seems like we will be living on campus at 北京話言大學. Is there likely going to be a working shower, toilet, etc.? Can one get full sized beds (54x75 inches or 137x190 cm) or larger? Would such beds fit in an average bedroom? I looked at the wonderful "Your Accommodations" thread here, but how "average" are those?

That's all I can think of at the moment, but I'm sure there are other things I need to know. Any and all information would be greatly appreciated. Alternatively, I would welcome any pointers to resources/books with such information

Thanks in advance!

[Erbse]

1.) If she sticks to healthy Chinese food all the time and does a minimum of sport every second day, she will be slim in no time.

1a.) Public transport is omnipresent

2.) If you live in a wealthy region (by Chinese standards) then there is no need to be concerned. I use bottled water for brushing my teeth though. Many people have some difficulties adjusting to the healthyness of China. You'll get used to it.

3.) All depends on the money ;)

Beijing is said to be one of the cities with highest rents worldwide, yet you should be able to find something nice for a reasonable price.

[abcdefg]

However, what I'm concerned about is how likely are things to be simply too small?

Your wife will encounter many challenges with this trip, beginning with the long airplane flight. Be sure she really wants to come along. Quite a lot of adaptation will be required.

[imron]

I think there's probably less of a stigma associated with being fat, however she will likely have it pointed out in casual conversations multiple times per day. It won't be said with malice or negative intent but rather it will just be people stating what they see. The Chinese can be very upfront and blunt about things like that so your wife should be prepared to hear people commenting about her size/weight, but also realise that they don't mean anything by it.

Buildings 6 floors high or lower won't have elevators. Anything over 6 floors will.

You will probably be doing a lot of walking in China, some of it will be up and down stairs (schools are unlikely to have elevators), but that's a good thing. I had a friend who lost 18 kilos in 6 months. She attributed it to all the extra walking (including up and down 5 flights of stairs several times a day) plus the general lack of snacking and junk food.

[889]

To answer what others haven't:

-- Bus stops are far between; cabs are plentiful, but doing most anything in Beijing still involves a lot of walking.

-- Very rare to find street benches as such, but maybe you'll find a bus stop with seats free, or you can duck into a fast food restaurant for a quick bite.

-- Your wife won't be subject to harassment in the direct sense, but some will stare, especially outside Beijing, and you'll find that learning Chinese will be a mixed blessing, as you start to understand some of the things people are saying around you.

-- If you're going to be in China for any length of time, you can't fret too much about restaurant hygiene. Just try to eat in larger places and enjoy your meal; you'll never be able to eat so well so cheaply again. Of course, that may also be a mixed blessing.

[Meng Lelan]

However, what I'm concerned about is how likely are things to be simply too small? Things like chairs in restaurants, offices, busses, etc.? Bathroom stalls, shower cabins, etc.? I'm sure buying clothing is going to be even more of a pain than in the US, but thankfully there are websites cropping up now that don't charge arm and a leg for "plus sizes."

It's going to be extremely tough for her. The Chinese in general aren't big-sized themselves so clothes, shoes, desks, chairs, seats, bathroom stalls, bus seats, airplane seats aren't going to be in general big-sized. I see others in this thread saying weight loss is possible with lots of walking but it all depends on how active she wants to be. Also there is quite an amount of fast food in the cities so that could be a problem in trying to stay away from fast food.

Also if she has any medical issues related to her weight you are going to need to factor in medical care in China if that's the case.

[Xiwang]

BLCU is located next to the Wudaokou subway station so that will make it easier to get around. However, one should expect to stand most of the time because the trains can get pretty crowded.

There are plenty of buses that stop near the school but using them will probably be very hard because the aisles are narrow and packed with people. Because people are expected to get on and get off from different doors, it is sometimes quite a challenge to get to the exit door in time for your stop. There's a lot of pushing and squeezing between people to get out. The newer buses by German-manufacturer Neoplan are more spacious and are closer to what Westerners are used to seeing at home.

Taxis are cheap but small. The taxi car models include the Hyundai Sonata and Elantra, Volkswagen Santana and Jetta (the old model, designed in the 1980s), and Citroens manufactured in China.

Will you be living in the BLCU dorms? If you search on-line, you will find various student websites describing the dorms, including videos on YouTube showing different types. You may also decide that it will be easier to rent your own furnished apartment with a king-sized bed in a newer building (which will likely have an elevator).

People may often stare, just as they do in the States. (An African classmate of mine says that she's soured on China, mainly because of all the stares she has gotten.) Children are more likely to say things out loud. For example, non-Asian looking people living in China still sometimes hear children on the street yelling out "waiguoren" (foreigner).

One good thing about living in the Wudaokou area is that there are tons of restaurants there, both Western and non-Western. Size won't be an issue for most of these places if you want to eat there. However, squat toilets remain the norm in most public places. I still haven't mastered them but I'm lucky because I'm a guy.

Regarding clothes, you should try to bring as much as possible that fit her. If you have them sent by mail order later, you may be hit with duties somewhere in the range of 20-33%.

[jobin]

it seems salient to ask, what will the wife do in her time in china? you will be plenty busy with classes, studying, tutor lessons etc if your real plan is to learn the language. interactiong with her will distract you from that task. unless of course, she also is learning the language.

if she has no action plan for beijing, she will be either totally bored or start to find her own legs in life. one wife i knew, married to an english teacher, was 'frightened' to mingle in china on her own. the husband had work to do, so she sat in the room and read her books, but never found china on her own. from my personal experience, i can say that this may be the opportunity of her lifetime, if she wants to change her physical condition. by leaving the known comforts and security of home and pushing the personal envelope of mental fear is easier when far from the former pressures of life. will she wait for you in the room, watch the tv, and fear the outside 'harassments' of china. or choose another course of action.

[kdavid]

One thing you'll need to start mentally preparing your wife for is the ridiculously blunt nature of Chinese conversation. She will probably hear people tell her she's fat, and I'm not exaggerating, at least a dozen times a day, unless she stays in doors.

I've worked with a couple obese people, and their conversations with Chinese generally always begin this way:

Chinese: "Hi. Where are you from?"

Foreigner: "I'm from England."

Chinese: "You're very fat. You know that's bad for your health, right?"

If your wife does not have tough skin, she's going to find it extremely difficult to mingle with the locals. The Chinese are very judgmental, and will judge her first and foremost on her weight.

[Rysiek]

Thank you all for the great replies. A lot of very useful information to consider.

Sadly, it seems some of my fears have been confirmed regarding weight issues. I don't think she will be bothered by being called fat, since there's nothing wrong with being fat or the word itself. I think if there is judgement, however, that would likely be hurtful, just like here in the US where everyone assumes that just because you're fat, you eat lots of fast food and sweets, are unhealthy, and a general lazy bum who can't control his/her life. It seems like it would actually be an improvement, come to think of it, since it seems like not everyone would have the negative connotations. Stares would be uncomfortable, of course, but I imagine there would be stares at foreigners in any case.

The other consequences of fat stigma are much more of a concern, however. It seems like getting around would be a great challenge, since the combination of walking up/down stairs, walking between public transportation stops, and standing on public transportation is going to be rather horrible : Of course, squat toilets are something to worry about as well, and something she's been concerned about for a while.

@imron: Is the six-floor rule based on some laws, or just general practices? Definitely useful to keep in mind if/when looking for a place to rent.

@Xiwang: Thank you for the tip about looking on youtube for dorm videos, as well as about the tariffs. Didn't realize they were that high.

@jobin: She isn't all that interested in the language, and likely would not want to learn anything but the basic phrases and what not. As for what she would do, the thought right now is to see about doing medical transcription over the Internet. That said, it does concern me that I will likely be gone most of the day, so boredom is a very real problem, depending on whether she would want to venture out on her own.

Again, thank you all for the replies and the wealth of information presented. I will probably add more questions as they come up

[Erbse]

The 6 floor rule is general practice, in expensive places you can have a elevator in 2 floor buildings.

In Chengdu I had a friend living in the top floor which was 7th floor and no elevator.

[Meng Lelan]

For example, non-Asian looking people living in China still sometimes hear children on the street yelling out "waiguoren" (foreigner).

Wow...they still do this? interesting - I remember that happening all the time over 20 years ago.

[gerri]

I'm in Hunan, and I don't just get the "waiguoren" from children (though yes, they are the ones who might even yell it), but just in general passing by. With children on a bus, standing right in front of me, there was also a heated conversation among them, with more or less hidden stares at it, about the size of my nose...

It can get annoying, together with all the "hello!"s one gets (oftentimes, a "hello, nice to meet you" said about 20 seconds after I have walked past somebody, thus talking to my back, followed by laughter about the courageously forward one in a group who dared speaking to the foreigner.

Then again, it's usually in good humor. Just yesterday, a kid called me uncle and asked where I was from ;-)

Having just had a teacher colleague leave prematurely because his wife (who had come along) could not handle it (plus the statistics on expats leaving early - typically because of a spouse who has no job in China and can't stand it without having her own motivation to be here), I'd definitely be concerned about that... easy to just stay indoors (though maybe not in a dorm room, that would be very cloistered) and not want to move anywhere anymore.

[889]

Outside the big cities, a solo foreigner in China can expect to hear passersby comment 老外 lao wai! or 外国人 waiguoren! or 美国佬 Meiguo lao! at least four times an hour, often more, speaking not to you but to their companions, and sometimes accompanied by a sick shriek of astonishment. Over time, you'll learn to recognise it a block away, and cringe.

There are also the cab drivers and other in-your-face-sorts who get a kick out of screaming "H-a-a-l-l-o-o!" in an ugly voice whenever they see a foreign face.

The brave schoolkids who come up to speak with the foreigner are actually a nice relief from the rude adults.

[Meng Lelan]

The brave schoolkids who come up to speak with the foreigner are actually a nice relief from the rude adults.

I know what you mean by this, and they are so cute when they are brave enough to do this. I remember trying to find an old school building that had moved and how this ten year old boy ran up to me and called me 阿姨 and told me it had moved a block east of the old site, as if he knew what I was wanting to look for. I remember this like it happened yesterday.

[cui ruide]

1.) If she sticks to healthy Chinese food all the time and does a minimum of sport every second day, she will be slim in no time.

From my personal observation and confessions from my American female friends (both of Asian and European descent), men tend to slim down and women tend to bulk up on a Chinese diet. I even know a classmate that insisted on only eating Western/Japanese food so she could keep her figure and saw immediate results. Dunno why this is...

[HashiriKata]

I even know a classmate that insisted on only eating Western/Japanese food so she could keep her figure and saw immediate results. Dunno why this is...

She told me the other day that it's actually not eating Western/ Japanese food that's kept her figure, it's her conciousness of trying to keep her figure and not eating junkfood that did the trick.

[Erbse]

There is a direct relationship between number of fat people and junkfood outlets (Western, Japanese, Chinese or whatever). I have seen this in China and Eastern Europe.

The key is healthy, no matter Chinese or Western. Luckily Chinese food is mostly healthy. However a diet itself doesn't help much, as it has to be supported by doing sports, to burn existing calories. I guess everyone knows this, but I point it out just to make sure...

[isela]

It's sad to me how inappropriately still a great many Chinese people are handling their encounters with foreigners. I do believe though that with more explosure of the Chinese people to the world and with more good education in the later years the situation can be greatly improved. But this will take time.

@Rysiek: At any rate, I'd encourage you to make more connections with the local people. Forget about those annoying ones who have no sense about what they say, there are still plenty of open-minded and good-mannered university students/professors out there that you can interact with. If possible, I think you should invite your classmates/colleagues to your dorm, make food for them and talk about the differences of life between the US and China. This way your wife can also be kept involved with your adventrue there. Also, if you would invite Chinese people to your place, there will be a high chance that you get invited back. Chinese people are very sweet in a lot of ways, too.

Also, if you need help getting oriented in Beijing, I can get some of my friends to help you in your first few days there. I assure you that my friends will want NOTHING back from you. Please PM me if you think this'll help.

[aroberts42]

From my personal observation and confessions from my American female friends (both of Asian and European descent), men tend to slim down and women tend to bulk up on a Chinese diet

That sucks lmao. I'm not obese, but was definately looking forward to losing weight when we move to China. Even though the number of overweight Chinese people is growing, they still have the stereotype of being skinny and petite. This is mainly attributed to their diet, but it is also genetics and the poverty level. Oh well, we will definately be more active anyway since we won't own a car.