20 Year Absence and Now I Need it NOW

[Chief123]

Hi,

My first post but I have been lurking and reading for a little while. I've gotten myself in a pickle and need some advice.

To make a very long story short, 20 years ago there was this Chinese girl from Taiwan. After a period of reintroduction through daily conversations on Skype for the last 7 months we realize that we made a big mistake 20 years ago and we so we are going to fix it. In 6 weeks she will be in the USA and our plan is to shortly thereafter get married and return to Taiwan to live.

I lived in Taiwan twice about 20 years ago - once for about 4 months as a missionary and then about a year by myself.

I was barely scraping by with my Mandarin before and then didn't do anything in the meantime.

Now I'm shortly going to have to face her children, her parents that don't like me (part of the mistake 20 years ago), daily life in a small town, an active church life, etc.

When we talk she speaks Chinese the great majority of the time and I speak English most of the time. I understand probably 90-95% without a problem. Some of my pronunication is awful and I cannot put together what I want to say, outside fairly simple things, even though I understand her. Reading and writing is non-existent even though I do recognize a very few characters kinda.

The "emergency" is that our plan was to live in the USA and so the focus was on her learning more English but the last couple weeks those plans have changed so now the pressure is on me to learn.

I'm transitioning my job duties and other preparations so I don't have a lot of time but I've got to find it. My marriage, new step children, new inlaws, and my whole life depends on it.

Any help please on the best way to get this going with the time frame I have?

Thanks,

Mark

[anonymoose]

Well, sorry to say, I don't think you're gonna make much progress in 6 weeks. Some of us here have been learning for years, and still feel we have a long way to go.

However, there's a chinese proverb "A 1000-mile journey starts with a single step", so stop fretting about the time-frame, just dust off those old books and get cracking.

[hunanfan]

Mark,

I'm in a similar situation, and it sounds like you'll need to take classes once you get to Taiwan, but in the meantime you need something to prime the pump. Try something like Pimsleur or the Nintendo DS "My Chinese Coach."

It's not the best, but it will point you in the right direction until you can dedicate more time to studying.

[Lu]

I'd focus on simple polite phrases now, so that you can greet and make basic conversation with the new family. And then enroll in a super-intensive Chinese course as soon as you get off the plane there.

Also I heard the Taiwanese government has special programs for foreign spouses, that teach Mandarin, some Taiwanese, culture and such. They are mainly for foreign brides from Vietnam and such, but you might want to look into this, perhaps it can be of use for you.

In six weeks, you can't expect to learn enough Chinese to win over inlaws and stepkids, so you'll have to put that part on hold, and rely on polite behaviour to not further cool relations. Bring nice gifts, help out around the house, treat your fiancee like a princess, such things. Ask your fiancee for advice.

Last but not least, wow, what a story. Shows there's always hope for the future. I wish you two all the best.

[Chief123]

Thanks for the feedback.

I know this is my fault that I'm in this situation. I've wanted to keep up and improve my Mandarin over the last 20 years but there was never a compelling reason. Even after the compelling reason came back in my life a few months ago, I didn't do all that I needed to do because she understood English.

Having said that I have been studying and am probably harder on myself than I need to partly due to the life changes coming up and the realization that others don't understand English. I did survive for a year by myself in Taiwan and do understand her and can say quite a bit so things probably aren't as dire as I feel they are.

Of course I will enroll in a class or something when I get there but my plan for the next 6 weeks or so is this:

1. Continue to work on pronunciation and tones.

2. Increase vocabulary and use it with her in our daily conversations. Speak as much as I possibly can. I'm lucky in that she would actually prefer I speak Mandarin to her.

3. Focus on tying the words I know - I understand them when she says them - together into sentences. I can have a conversation about a lot of things. Then I get stumped and fall apart.

Random examples - I can talk about the water being too hot when I took a bath or my stomach hurts or how much money I earned today but I dont' know how to talk about taking the garbage out or cooking dinner or surfing the Internet even though I understand much of the vocabulary used in those 3 sample areas.

I have an old textbook from 20 years ago from Taiwan - Speak Chinese - and 2 learner dictionaries I plan to use. I have also been listening to Chinese Learn Online podcasts and plan to ramp that up.

What else would you add that may help me?

Thanks again for any additonal advice.

[abcdefg]

If you haven't seen this lady face to face in 20 years and the in-laws dislike you and her children are strangers who don't know you, you have more to worry about than learning the language in the next six weeks.

My advice is to buy a round trip ticket. I am somewhat pessimistic about the outcome of this late-blooming romance.

[jbradfor]

Congratulations on your engagement! You do realize that by terms of posting you are now required to post wedding pictures :mrgreen:

I too was in Taiwan about 20 years ago, and then allowed my Mandarin to fall into disuse. [but I didn't get involved with a local girl.....] The posts above covered most of what I would suggest.

The one thing I would add is forget all about using your old text books and everything you learned about studying Chinese 20 years ago. [Except of course that it takes a long time and lots of work!] The use of computers has really changed how one studies, especially self-study. To wit:

• Learning vocabulary. Get a flashcard program that uses SRS (Anki is very popular, as is ZDT). Much more efficient than paper cards
  
• Listening Comprehension. This is probably less of an issue for you as you will be surrounded by Mandarin. But if you want something simpler to practice, there are many podcasts to use.
  
• Writing. This is probably very far down on your list right now, but computer tools (e.g. skritter.com) make learning to write much easier.
  
• Tones. Here's one where I'm not aware of a great computer aid, a program that will help you with your tones. I've seen reference to a couple, but AFAIK none are great.
  

[All is not perfect of course. For example, I would really like an "interactive Pimsleur", something that uses the Pimsleur approach, but can understand and judge what you say to it selectively tests you one the ones you get wrong. Another couple of years, no doubt.]

Also for now, I wouldn't worry about a text book. When you take a class, they will likely specify textbook.

BTW, anyone aware of a good vocab worklist for "day to day" vocabulary? Would NPCR be a good start? HSK doesn't seem appropriate, as the words seem more useful for reading than for day-to-day activities.

[renzhe]

If you can actually follow 90% of spoken Mandarin, then you have a good basis. What you can do is drown yourself in Taiwanese TV and make sure that at least your listening is up to par. If you can still understand after 20 years, then 6 weeks of intensive listening can do wonders.

Try chorusing/repeating common phrases as you hear them.

The grammar/speaking and reading/writing will take a long time, as others have said.

[abcdefg]

BTW, anyone aware of a good vocab worklist for "day to day" vocabulary? Would NPCR be a good start?

Lonely Planet's Mandarin Phrasebook might be a useful "brush up" tool.

http://www.amazon.com/Mandarin-Phrasebook-Lonely-Planet-Charles/dp/0864426526

[chinadude2006]

If you are planning on buying the NPCR, much sure you get the tradition character version.

[jbradfor]

Lonely Planet's Mandarin Phrasebook might be a useful "brush up" tool.

That's a good idea. But I was looking for something that is already in electronic form, as I now find a flashcard program a must for learning vocabulary, over how I learned it 20 years ago.

[chrix]

a phrasebook would be good too, because you could carry it around in your shirt pocket if need be. I've done that in France (with the French phrasebook)

[Chief123]

Any good phrasebooks with traditional characters? I've only been able to find simplified ones.