Advice on a short email

[Lu]

I need to write to a poet to ask for permission to translate and publish one of his poems. Below is the email I wrought, could someone let me know if there are any bad mistakes in it? And is '刊登在[Magazine]上以飨读者' too formal or otherwise wrong for this occasion?

Thanks for any help!

[Name of poet]先生您好,

我为 “[Name of magazine]” 季刊想翻译一首您的诗歌。 “[Magazine]” (XXX季刊)是荷兰中国友好协会的季刊,内容为跟中国文化,人民等有关的文章。我们希望徵求您的同意,将您的诗‘[Poem title]’翻译成荷兰文,刊登在[Magazine]上以飨读者。若蒙同意授权,不胜感激。

敬祝 虎年快乐 万事如意

[My name] 敬上

[skylee]

I think it is quite good. I would put the 想 in the first sentence before 為. I think "内容为跟中国文化,人民等有关的文章" can be refined (but don't know how, and anyways the meaning is very clear and grammar correct). You could consider using the 、 mark where appropriate.

[Lu]

Thanks so much! I changed it as you suggested. The reason it was already quite good is because most of it is patched together from existing emails :-)

[Kenny同志]

A suggested version.

Name of poet先生大鉴

[Name of magazine]系荷兰中国友好协会创办，内容着眼中国文化。鄙人意欲将先生大作[Poem title]译为荷兰文，刊登其上，以飨敝国读者，故此特征求先生同意，若蒙应允，不胜感激。

敬祝 （how about 虎年大吉?)

[My name] 敬上

Edited February 16, 2010 at 01:49 PM by kenny2006woo

[Lu]

I'll use that next time, kenny :-p

虎年大吉, is that better for lunar new years?

[xiaocai]

When are you going to send the mail? I think you can still use 虎年大吉 now, and probably until 元宵节.

[889]

I'd think you should include a copy of the translated poem and a note on the background of the translator.

If you're not able to pay for the rights, you should mention that, with apologies.

If you're going to include the Chinese original, then you'll need permission to do that as well.

You should be clear about the extent of the rights sought, e.g., only for publication in one issue of your magazine.

(If the poem's been published elsewhere, it's possible publication rights no longer belong to the author.)

[Kenny同志]

虎年大吉, is that better for lunar new years?

虎年快乐 sounds not so formal.

[Lu]

889: I suppose you are right that it is better to get all this spelled out, extent of rights, money involved, such things. Next time I'll try at least to let the author know there's no money in it for anyone involved. I've never really dealt with these issues beyond the fact that you have to ask permission before publishing a translation. (The magazine in question hadn't even thought about that.) But the poet has given his permission, and of course I'll make sure he is sent a copy of the magazine.

Kenny: Thanks for the explanation.