Loving one child more than another

[prephil]

My wife who is Chinese (I'm Irish) says that her parents love her the most our of their four daughters. She's the eldest. Is this a common trait among Chinese families - to show more love to one particular child. I know it is common for grandparents or unmarried aunts to raise children in familes containing more than one.

My wife recently stated that she thinks she will love our first born the most. I didn't say much but refelcting on this thought, I don't really like the idea of giving one child more love than another. We've only had one daughter so far but would like th have at least another child.

[BrandeX]

Is this a common trait among Chinese families - to show more love to one particular child.

Yes.

[xiaotao]

I'm sure if you googled the topic, it would see lots of articles about it. It not just the Chinese. Everybody's born with a different unique personality and sometimes a kid is nothing like the parent. Therefore, similiar personalities would get along better.

People of he same culture have a hard enough time understanding each other as it is. Did you see the movie Avatar? The man had to be live like the blue woman and understand her world. He totally accepted her world.

[gato]

Very few families set out with a plan of loving or paying more attention to one child over the others. There's no Chinese cultural tradition dictating that. It just turns out that way. But nowadays, with most families have only one kid, they don't have much of a choice in divvying up the love.

Edited February 23, 2010 at 03:15 PM by gato

[miss_China_so_much]

Is this a common trait among Chinese families

Not in my family. I was the middle child and I have one brother and one sister. We all have different temperament and personality but nobody feels being less loved. I guess it all depends on the family.

[chrix]

Yeah, I remember an American married to a Japanese woman saying that in their family, the younger kids get to call their elder siblings by their names and not by their title "elder brother, elder sister", as is customary in Japan.

EDIT:

on a different note, there's considerable research in psychology about siblings and how your position in the sibling order (is that even a word) influences how your parents and your siblings interact with you.

Edited February 23, 2010 at 03:04 PM by chrix

[skylee]

I agree with xiaotao and gato.