红包 At Chinese Weddings

[SuperGoose]

So from what I understand the amount of the hongbao varies, but I've heard between 600-800 is a good range depending on how well you know the person and their social standing. Does the maid of honour or the best man also have to give a hongbao, and if so, should it be more, less or what? I've heard totally conflicting info on this, from people I don't think really know, so perhaps some people with more experience could chime in.

edit: Also I want to add, is there any customary time to give the hongbao, how it should be given (discretely, openly), do you give a card with it so they know it came from you, etc? I would assume that this is a pretty important part of the wedding customs...

[gougou]

I was in the same dilemma recently and without exception, all the friends I asked had no idea how much to give (unfortunately, all of them weren't married yet), so I can't help you on the amount.

As for the procedure, you usually don't give the hongbao to the people getting married directly, but there will be a reception-like desk somewhere where (trusted) friends collect the hongbao, open them and note down name and amount. But of course, this might be completely different in other places, I've only been to two weddings in Beijing (and tried to avoid them thereafter).

Ironically, I've just been asked by a friend if I could be master of ceremonies at her wedding... That's gonna be a tough one to avoid!

[GreenArrow45]

I've only been to one wedding, but, from talking to people Chinese and other, who have been to more than I, they say that 200 is a pretty standard amount if you are just friends. If you are good friends, then I imagine it is more about how much you want to give. Though, from what I understand, they expect that, since you gave X amount at their wedding, if you get married and they go, they will in-turn give you X amount.

The wedding I went to also had a table set up where the couple's family or close friends were collecting the money and writing down names.

[xianhua]

600-800 sounds quite high to me. Don't forget that you'll be probably be invited to the same couples' child's first birthday party in 1-3 years where more money will be given. You may also be invited to other weddings so I wouldn't set the precedent too high. It will be common knowledge among the same set of friends/relatives that you gave 600-800.

[roddy]

I'd say it's also fair to consider whether or not they are realistically going to have a chance to repay the gift. If they're invited to your Beijing wedding in the autumn, great, but if you're not getting married until 2018 and then in New York, the chances are this is a one-way transaction.

Ah, it's the thought that counts.

[SuperGoose]

Good to have some input, thanks everyone. But does anyone know if the groomsman and best man are also supposed to give hongbaos? Some people told me yes, others told me no, because those guys have to do all the drinking, and in essence are doing the groom a service.

[rezaf]

In Shanghai it's 500 for not so close friends, about 1000 for very close friends and more than 2000 for close family.