Returning Compliment With Compliment

[Scoobyqueen]

as title

[Yezze]

Well, i know the same thing is true in Japan, in regards to gifts. Ex, We give a delivery guy a Tigers hat since he got lost due to parents not speaking Japanese well, he comes back later with a big "gift basket".

Praise means less... All i can really guess, is that it would be just a custom, when someone says something nice, people may often immediately say something nice back. Or, as our AP World teacher would has said before, "it is like an honor system, and giving a gift(thanks in this case) is like a debt, and you don't want me to know as one who doesn't repay their debts in a clan".

I don't know if they mean any less, but since you pointed this out, it might be interesting to see the reply s

[jbradfor]

I think it's just modesty.

While I agree that it would be nice if people could just accept a compliment, here I think returning the compliment with a compliment is just modesty, basically saying "oh, I'm not so great, you are good too."

[dumdumdum]

in chinese culture people cant just accept compliments without return. it is a very complex social network, so outside forces just force them to do it. just like you cant make japanese stop bowing to each other or thais putting their hands together in front of their chest.

anyway, try to understand local norms. it makes no sense going overseas if one cannot appreciate the local culture. might as well stay at home and enjoy what best suits you. if you dwell deeper into it, u might discover something unusual and exiting. then maybe you can write something about it later.

[Scoobyqueen]

I apologise for not giving the context:

This is an incident that happened in a Europe

[kongli]

I have experienced this 'cultural characteristic' as well. The other day I was congratulating my girlfriend's sister on having just passed the gaokao with high enough marks to get into a good university. Immediately after I complimented her she complimented me about how smart I was because of blah blah blah. I have found it is best just say "thank you, but I truly am very proud and happy for you"(or some other compliment or congratulatory remarks) and then try to ask a follow up question about the situation, otherwise the whole compliment cycle might just begin again !!! hehe.

Anyways, I can definitely sympathize. I think it comes from a kind of cultural humility. It is not really appropriate for people to brag and boast about their own accomplishments. Rather they should downplay their achievements, and one way of doing that is to focus on the achievements of others. Although people are people and narcism can be found in all societies. But yes, in short, I have also struggled with the dilemma of how to congratulate or compliment someone without the conversation turning to something about me. Though I think that these types of interactions become less and less the more you genuinely get to know someone and have a relationship with them.

[Yezze]

Do Japanese who live abroad also bow?

The people i know don't.

[dumdumdum]

I apologise for not giving the context:

This is an incident that happened in a Europe and it is just something I personally find puzzling wherever it would have happened.

Do Japanese who live abroad also bow?

for that case it depends on family upbringing. the more 'chinese prone' ones will, same thing for japanese overseas. it would be pretty obvious when they have a sizable community, compared to one or two chinese/japanese family living among a large group of foreigners. and sometimes it wouldnt be noticable when non-asians interact with them, but sudden display of such 'culture' when asians abroad interacted.

[doraemon]

I believe a Chinese person would find it rather rude or too proud if you just accepted a compliment without some form of 'self-deprecation' or returning a compliment to the other person. Usually Chinese people just try and 'refute' your praises out of politeness, but they obviously do accept it with gratitude.

[roddy]

I wouldn't worry about it too much. If you want, you can deliver the compliment indirectly - say to one of their coworkers or friends that you were impressed by blah blah blah and it'll get back to them. But tell it to their office rival and you may not make any new friends. If you do that it'll become part of the office knowledge - "Xiao Zhang is good at presentations" and so on.

[anonymoose]

If you do that it'll become part of the office knowledge - "Xiao Zhang is good at presentations" and so on.

Good idea. Then next time a presentation needs doing, Xiao Zhang will be allocated the task and you can go home early.