Today's Random Questions: Gifting

[aroberts42]

My father-in-law worked in China for a year about ten years ago. He said that the Chinese are very into giving and receiving gift and that we should plan on taking some gifts with us. So my list of questions regarding gifts:

1) Just feel free to give general comments on gifiting.

2) What makes a good gift?

3) Does it matter if the gift is made in China? (It is nearly impossible to find things not made in China in the states)

4) How many gifts should we plan on taking?

5) I have heard that many parents will ask the teachers over for a meal, should we bring a gift in these situations? If so, what?

6) At the agency that is placing us, should we bring gifts for the staff there?

7) Should we bring gifts for our students? (this kind of concerns me since I have heard we could have several hundred students over the course of a week).

We need to consider cost of the gift and also them taking up space in our bags since we are flying.

Thanks!

[Yezze]

Well we did a lot of culture related activities in my Chinese class, so, I know something about gift giving.

First of all, don't give:

Scissors/Knives

Clocks

Umbrellas

Nothing in fours

Straw sandals

Wrapping paper... red should be fine for the average gift. Stay away from white black and blue

They might decline the gift at first, also, they probably won't open it in front of you.

If they are (really) close to you, i think i remember something about belts being a good gift.

Hope that some of that helps.

[roddy]

Bring some cheapo local things - keyrings of local landmarks, that kind of stuff - as reserve presents. You can use them as prizes for your students at the end of the year if you don't find anyone worth giving them to. And one or two slightly more substantial things for, eg, the head of the school and the foreign affairs office. But there's no need to go overboard or spend much money. Apart from anything else the first week you'll constantly be getting introduced to important people you'll never see again - wait till Christmas and you've figured out who's actually of consequence.

Key to successful present giving is

1) Local / unique. Chinese are very big on souvenirs and 特产. If where you're from has some particular food or drink, that'll be appreciated.

2) Displayable. Something that can sit on a sideboard or keyring as a conversation piece.

3) Resale value.

[crazy-meiguoren]

This is from the back of my Chinese dictionary, under "Social survival guide"...

- As a guest in someone's home,

- As a visitor to a company where you have a business relationship, to each person you have significant contact with,

- Foreigners can give craft items from their home country... chocolates or wine/spirits are also ok.

- The host will usually unwrap the gift after the guest has left.

From my Chinese course material...

- fresh fruits or something similar is ok.

- the host may say something to the effect that your gift was unnecessary, that simply showing up was good enough. (My conclusion from that statement would be that the host is simply being polite. Failure to bring a gift would still be a faux pas despite statements of that nature.)

Nothing I have on hand covers teacher/student relationships.

Even though my material mentions alcoholic beverages as a gift, I don't know what the cultural expectations are about that, but wouldn't it be best to not give them until one has gotten to know the host and family a bit better? Just in case there might be issues in the host family that make it inappropriate? Just wondering...

[Meng Lelan]

3) Does it matter if the gift is made in China? (It is nearly impossible to find things not made in China in the states)

Yes, it does matter. They are not going to be happy if you give them a gift that was made or printed in China. You are simply going to have to work very, very, very hard to find things not made in China. I live in Texas and am about to leave for China, here are some examples I have got - a locally printed book of landscape photos of Texas, postcards, braille wristbands made by blind students in Texas, and for my long time friend a pair of shoes that are produced in Texas.

[roddy]

Ah, I don't think it's that important. Maybe for something for someone you actually care about take the extra time, but for random 'nice to meet you' gifts it won't matter. Make a joke about how you're reimporting Chinese goods if you like.

[Meng Lelan]

Well I think it's important that I don't lose face. They want real things from real Texas.

[aristotle1990]

I once gave a bottle of decent French wine to a friend's dad. The first thing he asked? How much. Didn't even say thank you. And the worst part about it? He put it on the shelf to show off as a trophy -- it was too valuable to waste on someone like me.

My mother would be "mortified" (as she likes to say in such situations). I felt kinda shitty too.

[skylee]

I can't see why umbrellas should not be gifts. Last time I gave an umbrella (beautiful yellow Van Gogh sunflower print) to a friend and she was glad.

Shoes as gifts sound weird. But then I have bought shoes for my parents so perhaps it is ok. Just make sure that the size is right.

[Yezze]

I can't see why umbrellas should not be gifts.

I thought I remember umbrellas being bad because 伞 sounds close to 散, but that could be wrong.

[skylee]

I see. In Cantonese umbrellas are usually called 遮, which is probably why nobody minds it.

[Meng Lelan]

skylee, to you shoes are weird until you hear this story. When the friend and I first met 20 years ago, she and I went shopping and to our astonishment we discovered we had exactly the same foot size and width. EXACTLY the same. So we started swapping shoes all summer and then after I returned to the US, whenever I go see her I bring a bring of brand new shoes. So, moral of the story, don't judge my gifts until you walked a mile in our shoes.

[skylee]

thanks for sharing the story.

[Meng Lelan]

I always think of this story every time I get ready to buy the shoes for her before leaving for China. I still have the very first pair she gave me as a gift 20 years ago and still wear them for something special.

[aroberts42]

Thanks for the awesome feedback. We have gotten several rolls of red wrapping paper, lmao. We are also found some wiskey blends that are made here in FL. We are also planning on taking a few bears of local honey. Does this sound good?