Please come and check this translation.

[Kenny同志]

I was asked by one of my classmates to translate a thesis abstract for him. I want to make the translation perfect, so I've come here for your advice.

Here are the original text and translation.

本文阐述了高分子材料表面改性对高分子材料性能的影响，重点介绍了低温等离子处理、电火花处理、紫外辐射等几种改善高分子材料性能的表面改性方法及其应用前景。

This paper/artical presents an overview of the effects of surface modification on properties of macromolecular materials. It also provides a detailed description of the property-improving modification techniques using low-temperature plasma, electrospark, and ultraviolet radiation. A future picture of the applications of these techniques is supplemented at the end.

Your comments will be greatly appreciated.

[jbradfor]

I can't comment on the translation of the technical words, but in terms of generate phrasing, some suggested changes

This thesis presents an overview of the effects of surface modification on properties of macromolecular materials. It further provides a detailed description of the property-improving modification techniques using low-temperature plasma, electrospark, and ultraviolet radiation. Potential future applications of these techniques is provided.

Later edit: I just noticed "重点" starting the second clause. Hence, "It further provides a" it probably not the best translation if you want to emphasize that want comes next is the primary part/contribution of the thesis. Hence, something along the lines of "This primary focus is providing a"

[Kenny同志]

非常谢谢 Jbradfor同志。学习了。

[Daan]

Potential future applications of these techniques is provided.

are, I think?

[jbradfor]

Nope.

In most technical writing, topics that are discussed, such as "Potential future applications", are considered a singular noun and hence the verb is conjugated as such.

However, in reading it again, it does feel weird. So if you want to change to "are", I wouldn't mark it wrong

[LongwenChinese]

Hence, something along the lines of "This primary focus is providing a"

Should this be "The primary focus is providing a"?

Potential future applications of these techniques is provided.

I feel like this sentence should be as follows:

Potential future applications of these techniques is also provided.

Any comment is welcome!

[SiMaKe]

FWIW, here's my take on this.

This paper discusses the effects of surface modification methods on the performance of polymer materials with particular emphasis on methods using low-temperature plasma, electrical discharge machining and ultraviolet radiation

In addition, several surface modification techniques which improve the performance of polymer materials are discussed along with prospects for the application of these techniques.

[jbradfor]

Should this be "The primary focus is providing a"?

Absolutely. Sorry for my lack of proofreading...

[Kenny同志]

Thank you very much, Simake. I really appreciate your attempt at this. Your translation is very good, however, in my humble opinion, it would be better if we drop "In addition, several surface modification techniques which improve the performance of polymer materials are discussed," which loverlaps with the foregoing sentence. By the way, how would you translate "应用前景"?

Kenny

[SiMaKe]

@Kenny2006woo

I agree with your assessment and here is my rewrite:

This paper discusses the effects of surface modifications on the performance of polymer materials with particular emphasis on the use of low-temperature plasma, electrical discharge and ultraviolet radiation, several methods for improving the performance of polymer materials, and the future for these methods.

[Kenny同志]

SiMaKe, I really appreciate your efforts to further improve the translation text. However, our understanding of the original may slightly differ with regard to”重点介绍……等几种改善高分子材料性能的表面改性方法” which means “with particular emphasis on the description of these methods intended to improve certain properties of polymer materials, and “等几种改善高分子材料性能的表面改性方法”, which, I think refers to the aforementioned methods, not other ones. So based on my understanding and the above replies, I have rephrased the translation as follows:

本文阐述了高分子材料表面改性对高分子材料性能的影响，重点介绍了低温等离子处理、电火花处理、紫外辐射等几种改善高分子材料性能的表面改性方法及其应用前景。

This paper/thesis presents an overview of the effects of surface modifications on certain properties of macromolecular/polymer/polymeric materials. It further provides a detailed description of the property-improving modification techniques/methods using low-temperature plasma, electrical discharge, and ultraviolet radiation. Potential future applications of these techniques are (also) provided (or envisaged? ).

As always, any comments are welcome.

[SiMaKe]

...our understanding of the original may slightly differ with regard to”重点介绍……等几种改善高分子材料性能的表面改性方法” which means “with particular emphasis on the description of these methods intended to improve certain properties of polymer materials, and “等几种改善高分子材料性能的表面改性方法”, which, I think refers to the aforementioned methods, not other ones.

Yes, this is where we differ. But your understanding is the correct one, and I see why I went astray.

So, I agree with your translation.

As for the ending, I would go with your "Potential future applications of these techniques are also discussed".

Saying "provided" suggests to me that something original or new is being offered. But given that this is a survey article and not an original research paper, "discussed" seems more appropriate.

Thank you for the opportunity to comment on the translation of this passage. Good experience (for me).

[Kenny同志]

Thanks for your comment. I think we have fixed this abstract. Thanks everyone for your help.