What to send when a loved one dies?

[Shadowdh]

Hi all, sorry this is just a fly by as I have just found out that a friend of ours has passed away and as he was married to a Chinese lady (who we get on with very well) we would like to send her something to offer her our condolences/sympathies but instead of flowers and a card as we would do in the west is there anything that is sent specifically that is different? ie a Chinese equivalent...? Many thanks in advance and I promise I will start posting more asap...

[xiaotao]

You know about the red envelope. A white envelope is used for this situation.

[Kenny同志]

You know about the red envelope. A white envelope is used for this situation.

I don't think so. That would make you appear weird, at least in my hometown.

[Meng Lelan]

I think xiaotao means when you send the condolence note, it should be in a white envelope. Some card manufacturers outside China provide envelopes of different colors to match the card and in this situation you want to make sure the color is appropriate.

[jbradfor]

Flowers are very common at Chinese funerals, at least the Chinese funerals in the USA. [Not sure if England is different.] However, the flower chosen and the style are different, so you'll need to go through a Chinese floral place to order.

[xiaocai]

At my hometown, where most people are still quite traditional when it comes to funerals, we will normally give flowers in the form of 花圈.

[Kenny同志]

You need to know whether it is a western funeral or a typical Chinese funeral. If it is the latter, a Chinese mourning wreath is appropriate, though not necessarily the kind of 花圈 Xiaocai mentioned above.

PS: I think a bunch of flowers is also acceptable, but I am not sure; I’ll leave others who have attended Chinese funerals to confirm.

[xiaocai]

Well I admit that the one in the picture is a bit extravagant but you get what I mean...

[Shadowdh]

Many thanks for the replies... we got her a card with a white envelope and a potted plant that was british white chrysanthemums... she was very touched...

[yeut]

If one were to send a note, what would the chinese words be for condolences/sympathy?

Separately, what would one say verbally to a bereaved love one?

i. e. Something equivalent to the English:

"I'm sorry for your lost. Please accept my condolences"

[yeut]

Can anyone tranlate:

"I'm sorry for your lost. Please accept my condolences"

Verbally communicated and not in a written note.

[yhe2006]

Anyone?

"I'm sorry for your loss. Please accept my condolences"

Verbally communicated and not in a written note.

[skylee]

I can't translate it (by the way it is loss, not lost), but you may wish to consider this -

折節哀順變，保重身體。(Edit - typo corrected.)

IMO the above places more emphasis on the bereaved. Google it and you will find that it is quite commonly used.

[Kenny同志]

It's 節哀, I suppose?

[skylee]

Yes it is. Thank you for pointing out the error. I will amend it in #13.