Chinese womens attitude towards dating and proposal

[Ian_Lee]

Another important question is what can you provide to her and her son after they come with you to settle in New Zealand?

Are you able to afford to rent a decent two-bedroom apartment?

Are you able to enroll her son in private tutorial ESL class if her son cannot catch up with the work in school?

Is your income able to support a 3-member family?

And if she needs to work, can she save some of her own income and remit them back home to help her family?

If all the above answers are NO, then you'd better think twice.

[badboy]

beagle, I'd drop that like a hot potato. She's suckering you no question - her urgency after 5 weeks, the difference in your ages, her level of spoken English...

Also, how would you guys communicate without an interpreter??? Is your Chinese good enough to use? But then if your Chinese was good enough, why would she need an interpreter?

[canuck]

I don't think he should go back to China at this point. I think he had a good point about it being her turn to see how he lives, and whether she would like NZ. If cost for her is an issue, he could buy the plane ticket.

If she's not willing to go, I'd seriously question why, because really she has nothing to lose by going.

I was in a similar situation. Like the original poster, I went to China and spent a month there. We wanted to marry, but I wanted her to visit my country and visit my family. I thought it was fair before moving to the next step. Anyway, we never got around to that. She was more concerned over her career in China. She wasn't willing to give that up to work for a low-paying, non-relevant job in my country. Basically she chose her career over our relationship.

Maybe this is to prove that going over to North America does not necessarily mean financial security. It really depends on the individual. If they came from the countryside then I can see the advantages. But most of the educated ones prefer to stay at home because of the opportunites available. I've seen too many highly educated immigrants working in non-relevant jobs in my country. It's tough for them.

[beagle]

Canuck, what part of China did you go to? Where did you stay? In western style accomodations or local? I am interested in what it costs to visit the Nanning area for a week or so.

[badboy]

Canuck, what part of China did you go to? Where did you stay? In western style accomodations or local? I am interested in what it costs to visit the Nanning area for a week or so.

You're really following through with this?

[beagle]

Damn, Badboy, can't sneak anything past you can I? Yeah, I'm thinking very seriously of taking a peak at my "China Doll" to see what is real and what isn't. Hey, if she is all that she puts herself up to be then I win. If she ain't, then she loses. I am very leery and not really throwing caution to the wind. The way I look at it is if she is real then I have a companion for however long she is around or how long I last before I croak. If she isn't real, the only thing I will lose is a couple thousand and still get a first-hand look at mainland China. I have spent time in Taiwan and loved the people there. I understand that the feeling for us "Ugly Americans" can be quite different on the mainland. So, let me hear something positive from somebody. Am I all alone?

Roddy said something that I found interesting. He said, well, asked, "If she lived 50 miles down the road would you visit her?" The answer is yes. The only and big difference now is that it is a bit farther.

Thanks for the comments Badboy. I'll never be too old to learn from you young pups!

[badboy]

Good luck man.