TCcookie Posted October 3, 2010 at 02:58 PM Report Posted October 3, 2010 at 02:58 PM In an attempt to make karaoke more fun for non-Chinese-speaking family members of some of my classmates, I've been romanizing songs for them and translating lyrics. I recently heard a song called 《无名》 sung by 何韵诗 and thought I would process this song for them because it sounds nice. As I read the lyrics, I discovered I liked it even more because they seem to have a political subtext. I mean, you could interpret them in lots of different ways, but don't they? Now, as for my translation, I'm afraid I might be getting part of it very wrong. The main problem is finding a suitable translation for the words 推翻 and 颠覆 here, as I'm not 100% of what they're trying to mean. I want to make sure I catch the feel of the words in English and don't make it sound too heavy-handed one way or the other if there are obvious multiple meanings. Thanks for any criticism. On second thought, I'm going to include my whole translation (with a line for characters, a line for pinyin, a line for gloss, and a line for translation so I can copy and paste quickly--sorry if it's distracting--hopefully it will be useful to someone). 无名 Wú Míng without name Nameless 蒲公英 在光里 púgōngyīng zài guāng lǐ dandelion (is) at light in A dandelion in the light… 深呼吸 移动漂浮的身体 shēn hūxī yídòng piāofú de shēntǐ deep breathe move float de body takes a deep breath and activates its floating body. 飞到东 飘到西 fēi dào dōng piāo dào xī fly to east float to west The pieces fly out in every direction, 像隐形 却洒落满地低吟 的生命 xiàng yǐnxíng què sǎluò mǎn dì dī yín de shēngmìng like invisible but shower fill earth low murmer de life almost invisible, but showering and filling the earth with new little lives. 没有名 没有姓 méiyǒu míng méiyǒu xìng not have name not have surname They have no name, 也不能 掩饰历史的激情 yě bù néng yǎnshì lìshǐ de jīqíng and not able to cover up history de intense emotion and they can’t cover up the passion of history. 是飞鸟 或是鱼 shì fēi niǎo huòshì yú Even birds and fish 也曾经 流下眷恋的痕迹 yě céngjīng liú xià juànliàn de hénjī and has left down sentimental attachment de trace have all left traces of longing. 天空是海的另一半 tiānkōng shì hǎi de lìng yī bàn sky is ocean de other one side The sky is the other half of the earth. 月亮的相反是太阳 yuèliàng de xiāngfǎn shì tàiyáng moon de opposite is sun The opposite of the moon is the sun. 我不曾离开 wǒ bùcéng líkāi I have never leave I have never left. 我从地平线爬上来 wǒ cóng dìpíngxiàn pá shànglái I from horizon climb up-come On the horizon, I climb up out of the ground, 不管缝隙多么的狭窄 bùguǎn fèngxì duōme de xiázhǎi not matter crack how much de narrow no matter how narrow the crevice, 用尽全力爱我所爱 yòngjìn quánlì ài wǒ suǒ ài use up all energy love I suo love I use up all my energy to love what I love… 默默地 推翻了 颠覆了 mò mò de tuīfān le diānfù le silent de topple-le subvert-le silently I overturn and subvert. 我站起来站起来站起来 wǒ zhàn qǐlai zhàn qǐlai zhàn qǐlai I stand up stand up stand up I stand up, stand up, stand up! 蒲公英 在雾里 púgōngyīng zài wù lǐ dandelion (is) at fog/mist in A dandelion in the midst of a fog, 深呼吸 恢复冰冷的身体 shēn hūxī huīfù bīnglěng de shēntǐ deep breathe recover freezing cold de body breathes deeply to recover from the freezing cold. 飞到东 飘到西 fēi dào dōng piāo dào xī fly to east float to west It floats away in all directions. 像隐形 感染角落的生命 xiàng yǐnxíng gǎnrǎn jiǎoluò de shēngmìng like invisible spread corner de life Almost invisible, spreading new lives into every nook of space. 哪怕一个倒下来 nǎpà yīgè dǎo xialai Even if one (mw) falls down-come Even if one falls down… 另一个我会站起来 lìngyī gè wǒ huì zhàn qǐlai another one (mw) I will stand up another will stand up, 一个两个三个千个万个亿个的我 yīgè liǎng gè sān gè qiān gè wàn gè yì gè de wǒ one (mw) two (mw) three (mw) thousand (mw) ten thousand (mw) 100 million (mw) de me another one, two, three, a thousand, ten thousand, a hundred million of me! 我从地平线爬上来 wǒ cóng dìpíngxiàn pá shànglái I from horizon climb up-come I climb up from the horizon, 不管缝隙多么的狭窄 bùguǎn fèngxì duōme de xiázhǎi not matter crack how much de narrow no matter how narrow the way. 用尽全力爱我所爱 yòngjìn quánlì ài wǒ suǒ ài use up all energy love I suo love I use up all my energy to love what I love, 默默地 推翻了 颠覆了 mò mò de tuīfān le diānfù le silent de overturn-le subvert-le silently I overthrow, subvert, and change. 我从绝地里活过来 wǒ cóng jué dì lǐ huó guòlái I from dangerous place in live cross-come (survive) I have survived passing through the most dangerous places. 我双脚在这里站起来 wǒ shuāng jiǎo zài zhèlǐ zhàn qǐlai I pair foot (is) at here stand up My feet, right here, will stand up. 我的翅膀在我身体长出来 wǒde chìbǎng zài wǒ shēntǐ zhǎng chū lái I de wing at I body grow out-come My wings grow out of my body. 我要飞了我要飞出去飞出去 飞了 wǒ yào fēi le wǒ yào fēi chūqù fēi chūqù fēi le I want/must fly-le I want/must fly out-go fly out-go fly-le I will fly. I will fly away, fly away, fly! 我从地平线爬上来 wǒ cóng dìpíngxiàn pá shànglái I from horizon climb up-come I climb up from the horizon, 一颗叫无名的小尘埃 yī kē jiào wúmíng de xiǎo chénāi one (mw) called no-name de little dust-speck a tiny, nameless speck of dust, 卷起了炽热的风暴 juàn qǐ le chìrè de fēngbào wrap/sweep up-le red-hot/passionate de (wind)storm/commotion containing within myself a red-hot storm. 重生了 推翻了 颠覆了 chóngshēng le tuīfān le diānfù le reborn-le overturn-le subvert-le I am reborn. I overturn and subvert. 我飞起来要飞起来要飞起来 wǒ fēi qǐlai yào fēi qǐlai yào fēi qǐlai I fly up-come want/must/will fly up-come want/must/will fly up-come I up and fly, will up and fly, will up and fly. 我无所不在无所不在无所不在 wǒ wúsuǒbùzài wúsuǒbùzài wúsuǒbùzài I id[omnipresent] id[omnipresent] id[omnipresent] I am everywhere, everywhere, everywhere. Quote
TCcookie Posted October 6, 2010 at 12:38 PM Author Report Posted October 6, 2010 at 12:38 PM Actually, I ended up changing quite a bit. Translating this sort of thing is difficult! Here's the version I ended up sending: 无名 Wú Míng without name Nameless 蒲公英 在光里 púgōngyīng zài guāng lǐ dandelion (is) at light in A dandelion in the light… 深呼吸 移动漂浮的身体 shēn hūxī yídòng piāofú de shēntǐ deep breathe move float de body takes a deep breath and sends off its floating seeds. 飞到东 飘到西 fēi dào dōng piāo dào xī fly to east float to west They fly out in every direction, 像隐形 却洒落满地低吟 的生命 xiàng yǐnxíng què sǎluò mǎn dì dī yín de shēngmìng like purposely concealed but shower fill earth low murmer de life like new little lives that, though stealthy, still shower down and fill the earth. 没有名 没有姓 méiyǒu míng méiyǒu xìng not have name not have surname They have no name, 也不能 掩饰历史的激情 yě bù néng yǎnshì lìshǐ de jīqíng and not able to cover up history de intense emotion and they can’t cover up the passion of history. 是飞鸟 或是鱼 shì fēiniǎo huòshì yú Even birds (internet slang: experienced internet user) and fish 也曾经 流下眷恋的痕迹 yě céngjīng liú xià juànliàn de hénjī and has left down sentimental attachment de trace have all at some time left traces of longing. 天空是海的另一半 tiānkōng shì hǎi de lìng yī bàn sky is ocean de other one half The sky is the other half of the earth. 月亮的相反是太阳 yuèliàng de xiāngfǎn shì tàiyáng moon de opposite is sun The opposite of the moon is the sun. 我不曾离开 wǒ bùcéng líkāi I have never leave I have never left. 我从地平线爬上来 wǒ cóng dìpíngxiàn pá shànglái I from horizon climb up-come I climb up from the horizon 不管缝隙多么的狭窄 bùguǎn fèngxì duōme de xiázhǎi not matter crack how much de narrow no matter how narrow and difficult the way, 用尽全力爱我所爱 yòngjìn quánlì ài wǒ suǒ ài use up all energy love I suo love I use up all my energy to love what I love… 默默地 推翻了 颠覆了 mò mò de tuīfān le diānfù le silent de topple-le subvert-le Silently I overcome and change my surroundings. 我站起来站起来站起来 wǒ zhàn qǐlai zhàn qǐlai zhàn qǐlai I stand up stand up stand up I stand up, stand up, stand up! 蒲公英 在雾里 púgōngyīng zài wù lǐ dandelion (is) at fog/mist in A dandelion in the midst of a fog, 深呼吸 恢复冰冷的身体 shēn hūxī huīfù bīnglěng de shēntǐ deep breathe recover freezing cold de body breathes deeply, recovering from the freezing cold. 飞到东 飘到西 fēi dào dōng piāo dào xī fly to east float to west It floats away in all directions, 像隐形 感染角落的生命 xiàng yǐnxíng gǎnrǎn jiǎoluò de shēngmìng like purposely concealed infect corner de life lives spreading stealthily into every corner of space. 哪怕一个倒下来 nǎpà yī gè dǎo xialai Even if one (mw) falls down-come Even if one falls down… 另一个我会站起来 ling yī gè wǒ huì zhàn qǐlai another one (mw) I will stand up another me will stand up, 一个两个三个千个万个亿个的我 yīgè liǎng gè sān gè qiān gè wàn gè yì gè de wǒ one (mw) two (mw) three (mw) thousand (mw) ten thousand (mw) 100 million (mw) de me another one, two, three, a thousand, ten thousand, a hundred million of me! 我从地平线爬上来 wǒ cóng dìpíngxiàn pá shànglái I from horizon climb up-come I climb up from the horizon, 不管缝隙多么的狭窄 bùguǎn fèngxì duōme de xiázhǎi not matter crack how much de narrow no matter how narrow and difficult the way. 用尽全力爱我所爱 yòngjìn quánlì ài wǒ suǒ ài use up all energy love I suo love I use up all my energy to love what I love, 默默地 推翻了 颠覆了 mò mò de tuīfān le diānfù le silent de overturn-le subvert-le silently I overcome and change my surroundings. 我从绝地里活过来 wǒ cóng jué dì lǐ huó guòlái I from dangerous place in live cross-come (survive) I have survived through the most dangerous places. 我双脚在这里站起来 wǒ shuāng jiǎo zài zhèlǐ zhàn qǐlai I pair foot at here stand up My feet, right here, will stand up. 我的翅膀在我身体长出来 wǒde chìbǎng zài wǒ shēntǐ zhǎng chūlái I de wing at I body grow out-come My wings grow out from my body. 我要飞了我要飞出去飞出去 飞了 wǒ yào fēi le wǒ yào fēi chūqù fēi chūqù fēi le I want/must fly-le I want/must fly out-go fly out-go fly-le I must fly. I will fly away, fly away, fly! 我从地平线爬上来 wǒ cóng dìpíngxiàn pá shànglái I from horizon climb up-come I climb up from the horizon, 一颗叫无名的小尘埃 yī kē jiào wúmíng de xiǎo chénāi one (mw) called no-name de little dust-speck a tiny, nameless speck of dust, 卷起了炽热的风暴 juàn qǐ le chìrè de fēngbào wrap/sweep up-le red-hot/passionate de (wind)storm/commotion carrying within myself a red-hot storm. 重生了 推翻了 颠覆了 chóngshēng le tuīfān le diānfù le reborn-le overturn-le subvert-le I am reborn. I overcome and change my surroundings. 我飞起来要飞起来要飞起来 wǒ fēi qǐlai yào fēi qǐlai yào fēi qǐlai I fly up-come want/must/will fly up-come want/must/will fly up-come I rise up and fly, will rise up, will rise up and fly 我无所不在无所不在无所不在 wǒ wúsuǒbùzài wúsuǒbùzài wúsuǒbùzài I id[omnipresent] id[omnipresent] id[omnipresent] I am everywhere, everywhere, everywhere. I think it's obvious this can be read as having a political subtext. In the Bible my church uses, the term 飞鸟 is used to refer to all birds, so that's initially what I translated it as, but for some reason I looked it up and was surprised to find that a 飞鸟 is "an experienced internet user" (NCiku) in internet slang. Of course that didn't make it into the translation, but I added it to the gloss. Are there any other little things in here like that I don't notice because I am not in tune enough to Chinese culture? Even if you haven't found any cool references like that, I'd appreciate criticism on the translation itself. Quote
semantic nuance Posted October 7, 2010 at 08:03 AM Report Posted October 7, 2010 at 08:03 AM 也曾经 流下眷恋的痕迹 I guess 流 is a typo of 留. Quote
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