interracial marriage

[Jizzosh]

For whatever reason, liberation or whatever, Western women try to be like men too much. Chinese women retain a feminity and elegance that Western women lack, and are prettier too.

Western women in general or western women in China? Because in general, I strongly disagree. Specific cases maybe, and in specific cities or age groups it might be more prominent, I suppose. Having not been to China, I couldn't tell you what mainland Chinese or western women in China are like, but women in Taiwan differed just as much from one female to another, regardless of Chinese/western, as they do here in the States.

Besides, women are supposed to be different from other women, that's what makes dating worthwhile.

[badboy]

Western women in general....especially in the U.S. where the level of obesity astounds me every time I go there. Some of the women there could start at linebacker for the Pittsburgh Steelers....ugghhhh....

[blackadder]

Because they cannot speak the language, as simple as that!

[Becki]

Im an Australian girl who prefers to date Asian guys to Western guys because they treat me better/like a woman, or that is my experience

Western women try to be like men too much... feminity and elegance that Western women lack...

Im very feminine, I never wear trousers except for a Hakama at Kendo training, or if I am horse riding. The guys at Kendo always tease me that I dont look like a real kendoka with summer dresses and heels.

I liek it when a guy treats me gently and with respect, like paying for me opening car doors for me etc. It makes me feel appreciated and special.

There are very few western men that I have met that treat a girl as if she is a priceless gem.

Not all western woman want to be men in fact some are more than happy being a woman. *stops herself ranting more*

The Majority of my friends are asian, so when we go out I am always seeing mainly other Asian guys and girls. The very few western guys that I know these days generally have Asian girlfriends or prefer Asian girls. And even then I only know these western guys from Kendo training.

A few of my chinese friends have said that it is rarer for a Western Woman to like Asian Men as opposed to Western Men liking Asian Women.

So much so that a few of the guys have said that when they were younger growing up in Sydney if you had a Western girlfriend you were "cool" or some such I cant explain it how they did.

I was suprised by this maybe it is just the atitude in Australia or not, I do not know.

I think that East Asian men are sometimes considered too traditional and conservative to be very sexy. Also they often have a willowy figure, and most women like a tough dude.

I can say that on my behalf I find that overly muscled or solid guys very unnattractive and prefer the shape of guys that do martial arts and maybe a little weight training much more. I like a more lithe elegant man that is still strong but in a more subtle way.

I cant remember the last time I saw a western guy I thought was attractive.

I find that often their attitude and the way the act to women disgusts me and I would much rather spend time with my Asian friends who treat women with much more respect, or maybe I am just lucky to be surronded by nice people.

Just the opininon of an Australian Girl.

*hugs and kisses*

[bhchao]

I was surprised to see many Asian male-White female couples in Seattle. Usually there are far more instances of White male-Asian female couples in general. Of course I also saw White male-Asian female couples in Seattle. The people in the city also are much friendlier and sophisticated than where I lived in southern California.

[sui.generis]

There was a Japanese girl in one of my classes in Kunming that said she prefered to date white guys because no Japanese guy was ever going to help with the dishes.

I imagine there are a number of different forces at play driving the trend.

[outcast]

When it comes to Chinese guys there are only two kinds:

1.) The good ones who are slaves to their girls. The girl makes all of the decision making, etc.

2.) The bad ones. These ones are the exact opposite and a lot of chinese guys tend to fall under this catagory. They would not hesitate to use violence to "beat their girl back into line".

But many chinese guys are very selfish about sex. They don't care about their partners desires, only about their own.

Chinese men have aquired a horrific reputation, and most of them deserve it. It is little wonder why many chinese girls won't date them. Many foreign girls won't date them either because of this reputation. Just don't forget that they have this repuation for a reason.

[HashiriKata]

But many chinese guys are very selfish about sex. They don't care about their partners desires, only about their own.

There're nearly a billion of them. How many have you slep with, which has qualified you to make such a [bs ???] statement?

[adrianlondon]

There're nearly a billion of them. How many have you slep with, which has qualified you to make such a [bs ???] statement?

Sounds like a challenge to me ;)

[Lu]

There're nearly a billion of them.

Correction: only half a billion.

Personally I agree with Outcast, but that's with n=1, so not enough to make a convincing statement. It was enough to turn me off Chinese men in general, though.

According to an article by Liu Dalin et al. the sex life of many women is not satisfactory, like Outcast said.

[HashiriKata]

Sounds like a challenge to me ;)

Yes, it does. I believe the Guiness Book of Records still has a good slot for it

You've got a point there, Lu. I was only reacting to sweeping statements, stuff that racial prejudices are made of.

[Long Zhiren]

Becki writes:

Western women try to be like men too much... feminity and elegance that Western women lack...

Western was probably a misnomer. US is more accurate. US women tend to have serious identity and self-confidence issues. It may be the US feminist movement that's caused most of these problems for all women in the US, regardless of their ethnic backgrounds. Feminist itself is a misnomer for this movement because it's anything but feminine. IMO, it's barely human.

Why chinese/aisan women are more popular in interracial marriage than Chinese/Asian men?

I would theorize that Asian women are more popular in the US, because in the US, this feminist movement makes the average US woman very unappealing. Have you ever looked at the appearance of US women like Hillary Clinton, Oprah or even the prototypical soccer mom driving the minivan? They appear angry, confused and insanely commercial; like they must aggressively prove something (read insecure). Their eyes are often loaded with venom. The more physically attractive US woman is also often borderline rageful. n-th generation Asian women in the US are not immune from these traits. Few men like these qualities. Women of all other backgrounds are more appealing, so of course immigrant women become appealing and get tons and tons of attention from the men. US women with extraordinary upbringings, which supported those women past the effects of these feminist movements, are rare excellent exceptions. Good strong solid families seem to have the easiest chances of getting women through this.

Internal qualities are important. They radiate externally.

By the way, I am a Chinese/Asian man with a very caucasian wife. Before marriage, a lot of my friends were women. I spent a lot of time with; and dated women that immigrated to the US (Korean, Filipino, Vietnamese, Chinese), women that were born of immigrants to the US, and women that were n-th generation US American. Being US-born myself, it was sometimes difficult to relate to the immigrants. For example, many women from Hong Kong seemed more interested in staying indoors, never sweating, high fashion and fast trends. I actually decided to stay single the rest of my life until one extraordinary woman swept me off my feet. She is special and we promise each other extraordinary care as long as we both live.

Hollywood

The terms Hollywood and marriage are incompatible. The Hollywood culture is part of the culprit along with the feminist movment that has, in general, been attacking the institution of family with its completely irresponsible and unreal portrayals of society. It drags society towards those portrayals and also towards unreal, superficial ideals of beauty. Hollywood glorifies affairs and the most trite reasons for breaking up marriages. In the US, the segment that is least capable of successful marriage is the people of Hollywood.

There are three types of relationships: buyers, renters and free-loaders. Hollywood and the popular culture focus on the latter two types of mentality--types that tend not to invest and improve others; but to use and abuse them. If you want a successful marriage, buyers are involved (settle in for life and work out any problems that need fixing), not renters or free-loaders.

bhchao writes:

I was surprised to see many Asian male-White female couples in Seattle

.

It's common throughout the west coast. In one recent gathering of couples, I was surprised to see only one couple that wasn't clearly interracial.

[heifeng]

I cannot believe people are even bringing Oprah into this! In terms of attraction, beauty is in the eyes of the beholder, and different strokes for different folks. How many hot Asian women in China are with dopey looking foreign guys, let's ask this question.... oh wait maybe that's just attraction is with whomever carries the green or can provide a green card.

Even American men can be intimidated by American women, let along an Asian guy who isn't born and raised in the US!

I don't think the breathing venom or liberation has to do with lack of confidence at all. If anything US women and men are suppose to be equals and this just creates friction on both sides. Instead of the women simply backing down and standing by her man and his career interest she has found her own voice and some men apparently cannot accept this reality. Or maybe even this generation of men were raised in households where their mothers were stay at home mom's who did nothing but prepare meals, raise kids, and clean the house and now these men want their spouse to play the same role. It's interesting the examples raised of "non attractive women" are the powerful, intelligent, and successful US women. However, I guess I can see how less powerful, intelligent, and successful men would find this type less attractive, and how these men don’t understand why these women don’t want to conform to the playboy bunny standard of beauty to make the mindless American males drool. I guess there is still really no such thing as a women’s value being calculated without her appearance being a factor.

In American culture Asian women are mostly perceived as more exotic, mysterious, and submissive. True or not, maybe we can blame Hollywood for this since how many times have you seen a movie when the masseuse is Asian, or the Asian actress is in some sort of sex-kitten role. Similarly, in China many people’s entire impression of foreigners is based on American movies! I have lost count of how many times Chinese guys have asked me if it's true that American girls are ＂开放＂．Once again, purely basing this image from movies! Now the image they have of American women is both slutty and power-hungry! Wow, I probably wouldn't want one either, or at least not for the long-term!

In terms of Asian men, not all of them are innocent, nerdy, or even the “I’ll put you in your place" type. More realistically, regardless of race, there are the womanizer and sleazy types. After living in China, my only complaint about Chinese men here is the following: Why does it seem like so many of them use the services of those who engage in the oldest profession! And I am not talking about single men doing this either. This is what would turn me off from an Asian guy the most out here. Sure, this is a worldwide phenomenon, but it just seem to be more available, common, and social acceptable or “overlooked” out here.

Lastly, I think that in Asia, women's "place" in society just resembles what it USE TO be like in the US....there are probably many American men who enjoyed those good ole’ days. I personally encourage all those men to head on over to China if they can’t measure up back home. Teach a girl a few English phrases and you'll basically be set....

[outcast]

You've got a point there, Lu. I was only reacting to sweeping statements, stuff that racial prejudices are made of.

It's not as prejudiced as you think, it is the truth. You would not have a happy sex life with a chinese man, plus they do have a tendancy to have "extra" girlfriends for sex. The number 1 cause of divorce in this country is that the man had an affair outside of marriage. Also on the top 5 list somewhere is domestic violence. Divorce rates between chinese are rising fast for a good reason.

[heifeng]

The number 1 cause of divorce in this country is that the man had an affair outside of marriage.

That sounds about right.....no surprise there what-so-ever...and I remember news on about how 90+% of corrupt officials had mistresses.....it's just a big old boys club out here. Literally, if it's not a mistress, then it's off to find a prostitute together with the guys after work....

[bhchao]

The terms Hollywood and marriage are incompatible. The Hollywood culture is part of the culprit along with the feminist movment that has, in general, been attacking the institution of family with its completely irresponsible and unreal portrayals of society. It drags society towards those portrayals and also towards unreal, superficial ideals of beauty. Hollywood glorifies affairs and the most trite reasons for breaking up marriages. In the US, the segment that is least capable of successful marriage is the people of Hollywood.

Totally agree. Very rarely does a couple in Hollywood last long. You hear all these trashy gossip about affairs and divorces. It's disgusting and morally degenerate. There are some things I admire about America. Hollywood stars are not one of them.

I also despise the way Hollywood tries to garner the political spotlight the way it did during the Clinton Administration. They treat the executive branch as if it was a playground or medium to get themselves flattering attention in the media spotlight. ex. people like Barbra Streisand.

I may not be an admirer of Bush. But I am very satisfied in the way he has ignored Hollywood, and not roll out the presidential red carpet for them. Just like how there should be a separation between church and state, there should be a separation between the movie industry and its meddling in politics/government.

US women with extraordinary upbringings, which supported those women past the effects of these feminist movements, are rare excellent exceptions. Good strong solid families seem to have the easiest chances of getting women through this.

US women like Jacqueline Kennedy or Peggy Fleming are the types I would go for. Such women of grace, dignity, and patrician backgrounds are very rare in the US. By the way, Jackie Kennedy once stomped her foot down when John Jr. wanted to become an actor. She had a very low opinion of the Hollywood culture, and told him that he will not become an actor. And he complied.

[Long Zhiren]

...I started writing something...but decided not to...

[Jake Perry]

i once saw a white couple walking down the sidewalk

and the guy was saying so anyways people think i'm great

and the other day i did this thing and everybody said

Hey you're great! and did i mention that i'm a great guy?

and the girl with him was nodding and saying mmhm

in an encouraging tone whenever he stopped to breathe.

i promised myself that day to never ever be that guy

the thing is since then i've seen ALOT of guys like that.

western people seem to think that they are only worth

as much as the sheer volume of words that they can

maintain without breaking the continuum of their fast talk.

i'm pretty sure it takes a woman to put up with that crap.

[Lu]

Maybe this is something American? I don't think it's necessarily western, but I also noticed it in the last American I met. Nice guy, but he was bragging.

I (WF) personally don't appreciate it when men do this. Impress me with who you are, not with what you tell about yourself. If you're really such a great guy, don't tell me, show me, and I will come to that conclusion by myself.

[Long Zhiren]

There are trends, however all spectrums of character exist in every shape, color and form of people.

For example, when I lived and worked in Belgium and France, I dated quite a few French caucasian-like women. (I'll tell you one thing--the French women seemed absolutely starved for nice, non-French men who spoke French. We could start a discussion about why French women are often not particularly interested in French men...it's another subject...) Every single one of the women smoked (usually just after a meal--kind of odd) and thereby failed the smog test. Otherwise, they were all interesting, quite wonderful; and very physically attractive. Does this mean anything about all French women, all white, all westerners, etc? Nah.

There was one French girl, Genevieve who is ethnically Chinese, that I really liked but failed to get her contact information to connect again. (I assumed that I'd run into her again but didn't...). Another French girl, of Cambodian descent was nice too but I wasn't interested to go anywhere with that friendship.