Chinese attitude to relationships with Westerners

[Kiwiguy]

I have just been back from China ( I am from New Zealand) meeting a woman from Guangzhou.

I am wondering how Chinese consider relationships between Westerners and Chinese particularly Western men and Chinese women. I noticed when I my girlfriend and I were walking around holding hands I though many Chinese we were walking past would give her dirty looks. Her brothers and sisters were accepting of us and in fact went out of their way to make me feel welcome.

In the past firstly I had a friend who married a locally born Chinese woman she was rejected by her family for some time, because she did not marry a Chinese.

My sister and her husband lived in Singapore and her husband commented that some of his work with colleagues who had Chinese girlfriends, the gilrfriends had dfficult times getting their families to accept their new boyfriends , but then most of the guys were not the sort of men one would like their sisters and daughters to be involved with.

[ExpatObserver]

This kind of behaviour is probably common to all cultures. Even in North America, where I live, people will look twice at a mixed couple (e.g. White and black, much less at White and Chinese or Indian). Just something to ignore.

I cannot really surmise what Chinese girls think of non-Chinese men. Don't know enough Chinese girls yet!

[studentyoung]

Hi, Kiwiguy. I think I am a Chinese girl and I can explain a bit to you.

I noticed when I my girlfriend and I were walking around holding hands I though many Chinese we were walking past would give her dirty looks.

Ok, I think maybe you have not noticed the jealousy and hate in these people's hearts. The men give the girl this dirty look hide the words in their hearts are "Oh, what a "smart" girl that cajoles a foreigner!" You see, the women are jealous that the girl's boyfriend is a foreigner and may be she will live a rich life soon. As for the men, on one hand, they hate you to "rob" a Chinese girl out of them, (You see, gender unbalance is really a big soical problem in China. What makes bad from worse is male is much more than female. Chinese girls are really the rare resource for them. Though they maybe don't know how to value the girls, they hate this resource to be robbed out by foreigners!) On the other hand, they hate the girl chooses a foreigner not just one of them.

But just take it easy, not all the Chinese will envy you two.

So is that all clear? Best wishes to you and your girlfriend from my heart! God blesses you two!

[HashiriKata]

Kiwiguy,

I'd have thought that even before you entered the relationship, you'd have expected that a mixed race relationship should cause some reaction and perhaps had ways to deal with it.

It's certainly not just a reaction perculiar to cases of Non-Chinese going out with Chinese but it happens anywhere. I'm a non-white and I used to have a German girlfriend. You should have seen the reaction of some German guys when they saw us walking together!

Work on it, if you want to maintain the relationship.

[CookieFactory]

studentyoung: when you say "foreigners," do you mean non-chinese people from other countries, or just any person from another country? I was born in China but have lived in the US my entire life as well as a US citizen. Would I be considered a "foreigner?"

[studentyoung]

Dear Cookiefactory,

When I say "foreigners", I mean people from other countries, especially those look exactly not like a Chinese at all. If you look like a Chinese, that the situation will be much better. If you can speak fluent Chinese too, that is really good. It's really hard to tell wether the Chinese in China will consider you as a "foreigner", it depends upon your look, your language and your thought. But I wish they could not consider you as a "foreigner". (I wish I didn't use any offensive words that would hurt any one.)