English test !

[katherinewales1]

I was a teacher of Gallop International English School .And today is the anniversaries of the first day I arrived in XI'AN. I do really miss the city and all my friends in Gallop.

Well ,i was a teacher at Newton South , then i moved in China.I've checked a lot of schools , finally I chose the Gallop International English School in Xi'AN,China.

There were two reasons . Firstly , I love this ancient city . Secondly,I do really appreciate the management control system here .It's so humanistic.Before I went there , like the other foreigh teachers , I was really worried about the new life,new apartment, new roomate , new boss and new friends . Let me tell you all my experience , then you will totally understand why I feel so relieved and why I love the school so much.

I arrived here in Nov.30th,2007. It was so cold at that time . When I arrived in XI'AN , it's already 2:00 in the morning .What a bad luck ! After I took off the plane , I couldn't find my luggage anywhere .I cried ,cause I felt so lonely .I called the boss and I felt so grateful that the boss was already waiting for me in the airport . I cried again , I did't know that the boss would pick me up in person . You know why I love the school so much , because all the people here are so thoughtul.The boss and Vivi helped me find my luggage and send me to the apartment .Vivi is a kind and sweety girl . She helped me a lot . They specially arranged Vivi to help me with my living things . As a girl , I feel so sweet ,really .

Then I arrived at my apartment .It was so beautiful and warm . The central heating worked very well .And there is a big kitchen,so I could cook anything I wanted. They also told me where to buy the fodder ,where to buy the clothes and delicious food . Oh my god ,I love the food in XI'AN . You couldn't find any better food than here .

Then I'll tell you something about my work .The working atmosphere is so happy and comfortable . I love my students , they are so cute . I couldn't forget the day I left them . They all send me gifts which were made by themselves. I never felt so warm before .How much I wish I could teach them in Gallop once again. They are all angels and Gallop is our beautiful paradise.

At last ,I want to say thank you to my boss . They treat me like family . I remembered once I locked myself out of my apartment . It was so late at night . I just finished the party . I don't know what to do but called Vivi.She asked help from our boss . I really felt so sorry for all the silly things I've ever done .They finally helped me .But they still need to work in the next morning .

Each year ,when the Spring Festival comes ,the boss always send a lot of gifts to us . And I remembered a teacher who wanted to set off firecrackers , but he didn't know where to buy , the boss specially sent him a lot . By the way , setting off firecrackes during the festival is legal ,and tell you the truth , it's really beautiful .

I do love the school and if I get another chance to go back to China ,I do really want to work in Gallop again . It's the paradise of teaching. After all , I still want to thank my boss and all my friends in Gallop . Thank you for helping me so much .I miss you all.

[roddy]

Here's one for the keen English students - how many signs that this was not written by a native speaker can you find?

[gato]

Looks like there was a problem with the space bar.

[imron]

She's been found out .What a bad luck ! I think she will cried.

[gougou]

Haha, what a great statement about the quality of English teachers at Gallop!

[daofeishi]

Eats ,shoots and leaves?

[anonymoose]

Here's one for the keen English students - how many signs that this was not written by a native speaker can you find?

It's probably just one of those schools that employs Russians as English teachers.

[daofeishi]

Hmm... I think it must have been written by a Chinese speaker:

Confusion over singular/plural forms:

today is the anniversaries

Unnecessary capitalization:

I arrived in XI'AN

Missing capitalization:

Well ,i was

The two "grammatical structures of choice" of all the Chinese students I've seen:

There were two reasons . Firstly... Secondly...

Let me tell you...

已经 showing up all over the place

it's already 2:00 in the morning

the boss was already waiting for me

and of course, tell-tale sign number one, the punctuation is all over the place.

[pancake]

Atrocious English aside, the first hit on Google for "Gallop International English School" is this one.

WARNING: DO NOT WORK FOR THE GALLOP INTERNATIONAL ENGLISH SCHOOL IN XI’AN, CHINA!

I really feel like a have a moral duty to warn prospective students of this "school". Ideas anyone?

[daofeishi]

I wonder if this post is a ploy to try to cover up bad reviews the school is getting in other forums? Look at this (and the name of the user, his/her number of posts and the title!)

[Daniw de Leon]

Here's one for the keen English students - how many signs that this was not written by a native speaker can you find?

Aside from the punctuation abominations mentioned by the others, some of the vocabulary are just...out of this world. I loved this bit right here:

Secondly,I do really appreciate the management control system here .It's so humanistic

"Humanistic management control system" sounds like a new management fad, though I think the intention was just to say that the management was caring. It looks like the words were lifted randomly from a dictionary.

[abcdefg]

Look at this (and the name of the user, his/her number of posts and the title!

Not only that, the entire text is the same, word for word. Ms. Wales, looks like you're busted!

[Murray]

Wow, so many errors! I'm actually headed to Xi'an very soon, so this post is very much appreciated. If they were going to fake it, at least they could have gotten some one with better English to write it?

This actually inspires me to work harder on Mandarin, I shutter to think that many of my own written compositions in Chinese have looked like this in the past.

[gerri]

My camera has a shutter, too - and rightly so. Something tells me that you actually "shudder."

[LA Guy]

Hi all,

The title "English Test" is quite inappropriate for this suspect English school testimonial.

So in writing, I know that people try to translate from their mother tongue grammar and phrases.

If the ghost writer is actually a native Chinese then what Chinese Phrase would roughly translate to "English Test" ?

LA Guy

[imron]

Methinks the title was changed by Roddy before he approved the post. Most times we delete posts like this, sometimes they're too good not to let through.

[liuzhou]

Wow, so many errors!

It is an inviolable rule on the interweb. If you point out other people's spelling or grammer misteakes, you have to make at least won yourself.

[roddy]

The title was mine, although I did follow style and put a space before the exclamation mark.

It was 'fodder' that clinched it for me,

[xianhua]

By the way , setting off firecrackes during the festival is legal

I'm packing my bag as a I type...

[valikor]

This thread just made my evening.

Commentator Awards go to imron (for most humorous) and daofeishi (best analysis).