My humorous Chinese composition (edits needed

[James Ether]

I was wondering if you could check my grammar. Included is my Chinese paragraph along with what i am trying to say in english

你好，我叫 James. 我今年二十岁. 我家有四口人. 我有一个弟弟叫凯文. 他今年十三岁，但他比我高. 我爸爸工作联合航空公司. 我妈妈是一名律师.

我出生在芝加哥. 当我还是小孩子，我喜欢阅读。我搬到了加州去年. 我的假期从肯尼迪机场直飞飞往洛杉矶国际机场. 我是一个企业专业。我学习国际商务. 我也想学亚洲研究，但该部门的负责人没有回答我的电子邮件。我的兴趣爱好是读书和喝啤酒。由于我的爸爸为航空公司工作，我走过了很多。两年前，我去了北京。我试图以可口可乐，百事可乐，但他们给了我。我不明白他们清楚，所以我学中文。在将来，我会回到中国。我的目标是我能买不买可口可乐和百事可乐.

Hello, my name is James. I am 20 years-old. My family has four people. I have a brother named Kevin. He is 13 years-old, but he is taller than me. My father works for United airlines. My mother is a lawyer.

I was born in Chicago. When I was a kid, I like to read. I moved to California last year. On vacation I flew non-stop from JFK to Los Angeles International Airport. I am a business major. I study international business. I want to learn Asian studies, but the department head did not answer my e-mail. My hobbies are reading and drinking beerSince my father work for the airlines, I have flown a lot. Two years ago, I went to Beijing. I tried to order Coca-Cola, but they gave me pepsi. I did not understand them clearly, so I'm learning Chinese. In the future, I will return to China. My goal is that I can order a bottle of Coca-Cola and not Pepsi.

[Hugh]

This is not a comprehensive edit, just a couple of things that I noticed when scanning through.

I think "我今年二十岁了" might be better than "我今年二十岁" (and again for "他今年十三岁").

"我爸爸工作在联合航空公司" might be better than "我爸爸工作联合航空公司" as well.

"我搬到了加州去年" → "我去年搬到了加州"

"我的假期..." → "我上次放假的时候..." (I'm assuming the meaning is 'last time I was on holiday I flew...', just to avoid it sounding habitual)

"...从肯尼迪机场直飞飞往洛杉矶国际机场" → "...从肯尼迪机场直飞到洛杉矶国际机场了"

" 我是一个企业专业" → " 我是企业专业的学生"

"我试图以可口可乐，百事可乐，但他们给了我" → "我试图点可口可乐，但他们给我的是百事可乐"

"我不明白他们清楚，所以我学中文" → "因为他们说的话我没明白得太清楚，所以我在学中文"

I'm not totally sure about these though - let's see what other people have to say about it. Hopefully a native speaker will have a look.

[jessiejin]

你好，我叫 James. 我今年二十岁. 我家有四口人（i think 我家有四个人will be better).

我有一个弟弟叫凯文. 他今年十三岁，但他比我高. 我爸爸工作联合航空公司. (我爸爸在联合航空公司工作）我妈妈是一名律师.

我出生在芝加哥. 当我还是小孩子（当我还是小孩子的时候），我喜欢阅读。我搬到了加州去年（我去年搬到了加州）. 我的假期从肯尼迪机场直飞飞往洛杉矶国际机场. （我假期的时候可以从肯尼迪机场直飞洛杉矶国际机场，i hink you mean you can do this thing when you have holidays,right)我是一个企业专业(我是一个企业专业的学生）。我学习国际商务（我的专业是国际商务）. 我也想学亚洲研究（但我也想学亚洲研究专业），但该部门的负责人没有回答（i think 答复 will be better)我的电子邮件。

我的兴趣爱好是读书和喝啤酒。

由于(i think 因为 will be better)我的爸爸为航空公司工作，我走过了很多（所以我去过很多地方 so have been to many places)。两年前，我去了北京。

我试图以可口可乐，百事可乐，但他们给了我。(我试图点可口可乐，但是他们给了我百事可乐。）我不明白他们清楚，所以我学中文。（问不清楚他们是否明白我的意思，所以我学习中文，让他们明白我的意思。i don't know whether they can understand me,so i try to learn chinese to let them understand me better)(我不明白他们的意思，所以现在我学习中文i cannot understand them ,so i am learning chinese)在将来，我会回到中国。

我的目标是我能买不买可口可乐和百事可乐.(我的目标是我能决定买可口可乐还是百事可乐 my goal is that i can decide to buy coco or pepsi)

hope this can help you.and i hope my english is right,too.

(@-@)

[Hugh]

（i think 我家有四个人will be better).

Isn't 口 the measure word for family members?

[jessiejin]

yes,it is.

四口人 is right.but i think it is a little bit informal here.it has a sense suburban.

hope you agree with me.we can discuss it.

[Hugh]

My 量詞詞典 just gives 口 as "Measure word for members of a family". I wasn't aware that it was informal, but I won't argue with a native speaker! '四个人' it is.

[Justin_M]

四口人 is right.but i think it is a little bit informal here.

Wrong. Only children would say "我们家有四个人".

My 量詞詞典 just gives 口 as "Measure word for members of a family". I wasn't aware that it was informal, but I won't argue with a native speaker! '四个人' it is.

Well, it depends on the context. Look at the following examples.

这个房間裏有四個人. (There are four people in this room.)

這座房子住了四口人. (A family of four lives in this house.)

我家有四口人./一家四口 (我家有四個人 is also acceptable, but it is very informal in this context.)

Hope this helps.

[Hugh]

@Justin_M

Yes, that's my understanding of how and when to use 口.

[Yang]

你好，我叫 James. (you can change James into 詹姆斯 if you like) 我今年二十岁. 我家有四口人.（口 is more better than 个 in here) 我有一个弟弟叫凯文. 他今年十三岁，但他比我高. 我爸爸工作联合航空公司.(我爸爸在联合航空公司工作）, 我妈妈是一名律师.

我出生在芝加哥. 当我还是小孩子，我喜欢阅读。(当我还是小孩子的时候，我喜欢阅读，or 我小时候很喜欢阅读）我搬到了加州去年. (我去年搬到了加州）我的假期从肯尼迪机场直飞飞往洛杉矶国际机场.（one 飞 here is better) 我是一个企业专业。(我是一个商务专业的学生，企业 means company, chinese won't understand 企业专业)我学习国际商务. 我也想学亚洲研究，但该部门的负责人没有回答我的电子邮件。(meaning of this sentence is pretty clear, but it sounds weird, i dont even know what to change.) 我的兴趣爱好是读书和喝啤酒。由于我的爸爸为航空公司工作，我走过了很多。(我去过很多地方）两年前，我去了北京。我试图以可口可乐，百事可乐，但他们给了我。（我想买可口可乐，可是他们给了我百事可乐）我不明白他们清楚，（我不是很明白他们的意思）所以我学中文。在将来，我会回到中国。我的目标是我能买不买可口可乐和百事可乐.（我的目标是我可以买到可口可乐，而不是百事可乐）

[jessiejin]

hello

基本上我还是同意你的看法的，毕竟国家在统计人口的时候都是以口来计量的。

对于我家有四个人这个说法，就算是我们年轻人喜欢用的吧。但就像你说的，四个人是被接受的，在字典里面也是查得到的。

[Yang]

forget this one

我的假期从肯尼迪机场直飞飞往洛杉矶国际机场. (我在假期的时候...)