思考题 Posted January 7, 2011 at 05:41 AM Report Posted January 7, 2011 at 05:41 AM Over the past 6 months I've taken an avid interest in Chinese language songs as a productive means of studying and supplementing my Mandarin. With friends' encouragement, I have undertaken the posting of English translations of both widespread classics and some of my personal favorites. My interest does not lie in literal, word for word translation. Certain words and phrases, though poignant in their native Mandarin context, sound ambiguous or halting in English. Rather I aim to express the feeling of each song -- as if the lyrics were as natural to sing in translated English as they were in the original Chinese. I am not avoiding literal interpretation, so much not allowing it to interfere with the tone or underlying concepts of each song. While I encourage any questions, 'quires and qualms, my hope is that rather than simple criticism, we instead make constructive suggestions with specific examples. My initial words are not the end all, but rather the instigation of further creation. ===================================================================================================================================================== A golden oldie, but a goodie, 甜蜜蜜。 甜蜜蜜你笑得甜蜜蜜...............So sweet, your smile is so sweet 好像花儿开在春风里...............Like a flower in blossom, floating on a spring breeze 开在春风里.....................Floating on a spring breeze 在哪里在哪里见过你...............Where? Where have I seen you before? 你的笑容这样熟悉................Your smile is so familiar 我一时想不起...................I just can’t remember 啊~~在梦里.....................Oh, in a dream! 梦里梦里见过你.................In a dream is caught a glimpse of you 甜蜜笑得多甜蜜.................So sweet, your smile is so sweet 是你~是你~梦见的就是你..........Is it you? Is it you? that I sore in my dream? 在哪里在哪里见过你..............Where? Where have I seen you before? 你的笑容这样熟悉................Your smile is so familiar 我一时想不起...................I just can’t remember 啊~~在梦里....................Oh, in a dream! (~) 在哪里在哪里见过你..............Where? Where have I seen you before? 你的笑容这样熟悉.... ..........Your smile is so familiar 我一时想不起..................I just can’t remember 啊~~在梦里...................Oh, in a dream! 梦里梦里见过你................In a dream is caught a glimpse of you 甜蜜笑得多甜蜜................So sweet, your smile is so sweet 是你~是你~梦见的就是你.........Is it you? Is it you? that I sore in my dream? 在哪里在哪里见过你.............Where? Where have I seen you before? 你的笑容这样熟悉...............Your smile is so familiar 我一时想不起..................I just can’t remember 啊~~在梦里...................Oh, in a dream! This song makes me feel like I'm in a nice warm day dream, at least the Chinese lyrics make me feel that way, I'm not so sure my English lyrics are. So what do you think? Quote
内森 Posted January 12, 2011 at 08:44 AM Report Posted January 12, 2011 at 08:44 AM Most of these are just for the sake of enhanced lyricism: 甜蜜蜜你笑得甜蜜蜜...............So sweet, your smile is so sweet So sweet, your smile; so sweet 好像花儿开在春风里...............Like a flower in blossom, floating on a spring breeze Like a flower in BLOOM, CARESSED BY A spring breeze 是你~是你~梦见的就是你..........Is it you? Is it you? that I sore in my dream? Is it you? Is it you? IT CAN ONLY BE Other than that, it's sweet and simple ... just as it ought be. Nice work. Quote
思考题 Posted January 13, 2011 at 02:32 AM Author Report Posted January 13, 2011 at 02:32 AM Thank you Yeodda3 for your constructive criticism, your suggestions are eloquent. Below is the amended translation: 甜蜜蜜你笑得甜蜜蜜...............So sweet, your smile; so sweet 好像花儿开在春风里...............Like a flower in bloom, caressed by a spring breeze 开在春风里.....................Floating on a spring breeze 在哪里在哪里见过你...............Where? Where have I seen you before? 你的笑容这样熟悉................Your smile is so familiar 我一时想不起...................I just can’t remember 啊~~在梦里.....................Oh, in a dream! 梦里梦里见过你.................In a dream is caught a glimpse of you 甜蜜笑得多甜蜜.................So sweet, your smile; so sweet 是你~是你~梦见的就是你..........Is it you? Is it you? It can only be? 在哪里在哪里见过你..............Where? Where have I seen you before? 你的笑容这样熟悉................Your smile is so familiar 我一时想不起...................I just can’t remember 啊~~在梦里....................Oh, in a dream! (~) 在哪里在哪里见过你..............Where? Where have I seen you before? 你的笑容这样熟悉.... ..........Your smile is so familiar 我一时想不起..................I just can’t remember 啊~~在梦里...................Oh, in a dream! 梦里梦里见过你................In a dream is caught a glimpse of you 甜蜜笑得多甜蜜................So sweet, your smile; so sweet 是你~是你~梦见的就是你.........Is it you? Is it you? It can only be? 在哪里在哪里见过你.............Where? Where have I seen you before? 你的笑容这样熟悉...............Your smile is so familiar 我一时想不起..................I just can’t remember 啊~~在梦里...................Oh, in a dream! Quote
semantic nuance Posted January 13, 2011 at 06:53 AM Report Posted January 13, 2011 at 06:53 AM 是你~是你~梦见的就是你..........Is it you? Is it you? that I sore in my dream? I have a different opnion. This sentence is an assertion not a question. Since '我' cannot remember where s/he has met '你' in the beginning, then later on 我 found out that it must be '你' that appeared in his / her dream. So I guess the translation should be 是你~是你~梦见的就是你..........It must be you. You're the one I've dreamed of. Quote
内森 Posted January 14, 2011 at 12:10 AM Report Posted January 14, 2011 at 12:10 AM 是你~是你~梦见的就是你..........It must be you. You're the one I've dreamed of. I'm on board. Though I might further tweak, just a little: It must be you; OF YOU I HAVE dreamed Quote
思考题 Posted January 15, 2011 at 07:32 AM Author Report Posted January 15, 2011 at 07:32 AM Once again, thank you to yeodda3 and semantic nuance, semantic nuance you make a good point and yeodda3 I think your final tweak is great. The translation is amended as below: 甜蜜蜜你笑得甜蜜蜜...............So sweet, your smile; so sweet 好像花儿开在春风里...............Like a flower in bloom, caressed by a spring breeze 开在春风里.....................Floating on a spring breeze 在哪里在哪里见过你...............Where? Where have I seen you before? 你的笑容这样熟悉................Your smile is so familiar 我一时想不起...................I just can’t remember 啊~~在梦里.....................Oh, in a dream! 梦里梦里见过你.................In a dream is caught a glimpse of you 甜蜜笑得多甜蜜.................So sweet, your smile; so sweet 是你~是你~梦见的就是你..........It must be you, of you I have dreamed! 在哪里在哪里见过你..............Where? Where have I seen you before? 你的笑容这样熟悉................Your smile is so familiar 我一时想不起...................I just can’t remember 啊~~在梦里....................Oh, in a dream! (~) 在哪里在哪里见过你..............Where? Where have I seen you before? 你的笑容这样熟悉.... ..........Your smile is so familiar 我一时想不起..................I just can’t remember 啊~~在梦里...................Oh, in a dream! 梦里梦里见过你................In a dream is caught a glimpse of you 甜蜜笑得多甜蜜................So sweet, your smile; so sweet 是你~是你~梦见的就是你.........It must be you, of you I have dreamed! 在哪里在哪里见过你.............Where? Where have I seen you before? 你的笑容这样熟悉...............Your smile is so familiar 我一时想不起..................I just can’t remember 啊~~在梦里...................Oh, in a dream! Further comments are more than welcome. Quote
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