思考题 Posted January 25, 2011 at 06:32 AM Report Posted January 25, 2011 at 06:32 AM Over the past 6 months I've taken an avid interest in Chinese language songs as a productive means of studying and supplementing my Mandarin. With friends' encouragement, I have undertaken the posting of English translations of both widespread classics and some of my personal favorites. My interest does not lie in literal, word for word translation. Certain words and phrases, though poignant in their native Mandarin context, sound ambiguous or halting in English. Rather I aim to express the feeling of each song -- as if the lyrics were as natural to sing in translated English as they were in the original Chinese. I am not avoiding literal interpretation, so much not allowing it to interfere with the tone or underlying concepts of each song. While I encourage any questions, 'quires and qualms, my hope is that rather than simple criticism, we instead make constructive suggestions with specific examples. My initial words are not the end all, but rather the instigation of further creation. ===================================================================================================================================================== Chinese Song Translation 《鸿雁》 - Wild Goose. For an online recording of the song click &cat=0&gate=1&ct=134217728&tn=baidumt,%BA%E8%D1%E3++&si=%BA%E8%D1%E3;;%BA%AB%C0%DA;;0;;0&lm=-1&mtid=3&d=7&size=6396313&attr=0,0&titlekey=130844155,2906311242&mtype=1"]HERE A Classic folk song. A Mongolian girl won the 2010 TV show '同乐江苏‘ singing this song. 鸿雁 天空上 对对排成行.............Wild goose, up above, flying in formation, 江水长 秋草黄.....................The river is long, Autumn is coming to an end, 草原上琴声忧伤.....................Winters chill resonates over the land, 鸿雁 向南方 飞过芦苇荡W.............Wild Goose, heading south over the reed marshes, 天苍茫 雁何往 心中是北方家乡..........The sky is vast, how will you fare? Home is still in the north, 天苍茫 雁何往 心中是北方家乡..........The sky is vast, how will you fare? Home is still in the north, 鸿雁 北归还 带上我的思念...........Wild goose, will you return? Do not forget me。 歌声远 琴声长.....................My voice is large, my sound carries, 草原上春意暧.......................Spring is distant, 鸿雁 向苍天 天空有多遥远...........Wild goose, about to depart, your flight is long, 酒喝干 再斟满.....................Drink up, drink to your fill, 今夜不醉不还.......................For tonight is the last, 酒喝干 再斟满.....................Drink up, drink to your fill, 今夜不醉不还~ll...................For tonight is the last。 This song uses the departure of wild geese in their seasonal migration to the south as a metaphore for the departure of 'good times' with the onset of winter. It is melancoly and beautiful. Quote
David W Jackson Posted January 26, 2011 at 04:17 AM Report Posted January 26, 2011 at 04:17 AM Hi. I was really happy to find your post for a number of reasons. I've been practicing Wild Goose Qigong for a good many years and this is a nice complement. It's a really beautiful song, particularly at this time of Spring Festival with so many heading back home to be with loved ones and others wanting to but unable. The pathos and poignancy is rendered perfectly by the minor key. I've had a try, not so much at making the translation more readily singable in English, mine I aver is not, but in trying to render the lines somewhat more poetically. So we're coming at it from different angles. Still perhaps others can chime in too. Again thanks a lot. I like this way of learning Chinese. Happy Spring Festival! Wild goose, high in the sky, flying in a flock The river is long, the autumn leaves have turned yellow The grasslands lament with zither-like mournfulness Wild goose, heading south over the reed marshes The sky is boundless, your northern home deep in your heart (not sure about he wang here) The sky is boundless, your northern home deep in your heart Wild goose migrating north bearing my longing (seem to be flying both north and south at the same time :huh: ) The sound of distant singing and of the zither grows louder Thoughts of spring and love awaken Wild goose flying heavenwards, the sky seems so far away Drain your glasses and fill them anew There'll be no going home tonight until you’re merry Drain your glasses and fill them anew There'll be no going home tonight until you’re merry Quote
思考题 Posted February 13, 2011 at 01:19 AM Author Report Posted February 13, 2011 at 01:19 AM David W Jackson, Thank you for your post, I like your translation. You bring up an interesting issue, that a translation can have different formats. I personally feel that many people do not translate song lyrics into an appropriate format; there is a tendency just to explain lyrics in English as opposed to translating the lyric. The difference between an 'almost sing-able' format and a 'poetic' format I think lies within the rhythm of the song. An 'almost sing-able' lyric is confined to the tempo and melody of the song where as a 'poetic' lyric has more flexibility, which can enable greater depth of meaning. For example, the last line: 今夜不醉不还 I translated as: For tonight is the last Where as you translated: There'll be no going home tonight until you’re merry The Chinese lyric has six characters, which I translated into a 6 syllable lyric by altering some of the meaning where as you used a 13 syllable lyric but maintaining much more of the meaning. Both have their merits and failures. Having said that, there are a few lines that I really liked of yours, and have combined them into a new translation. 鸿雁 天空上 对对排成行.............Wild goose, up high above, FLYING IN A FLOCK 江水长 秋草黄.....................The river is long, THE LEAVES HAVE TURNED YELLOW 草原上琴声忧伤.....................Winters chill resonates over the land, 鸿雁 向南方 飞过芦苇荡W.............Wild Goose, heading south over the reed marshes, 天苍茫 雁何往 心中是北方家乡..........The sky is vast, how will you fare? Home is still in the north, 天苍茫 雁何往 心中是北方家乡..........The sky is vast, how will you fare? Home is still in the north, 鸿雁 北归还 带上我的思念...........Wild goose, will you return? Do not forget me。 歌声远 琴声长.....................My voice is large, my sound carries, 草原上春意暧.......................Spring is distant, 鸿雁 向苍天 天空有多遥远...........Wild goose, about to depart, your flight is long, 酒喝干 再斟满.....................DRAIN YOUR GLASSES AND FILL THEM ANEW 今夜不醉不还.......................For tonight is the last, 酒喝干 再斟满.....................DRAIN YOUR GLASSES AND FILL THEM ANEW 今夜不醉不还~ll...................For tonight is the last. Quote
内森 Posted April 17, 2011 at 03:32 PM Report Posted April 17, 2011 at 03:32 PM Bringing it back! In honor of Spring's arrival, you ask ..? Seems appropriate. Here's my take: 鸿雁 天空上 对对排成行 …................Wild GEESE, SO FAR above, JOURNING AS ONE 江水长 秋草黄......................................The river is long, THE AUTUMN GRASS HIGH 草原上琴声忧伤....................................BUT THE PLAINS BELOW YOU ARE LADEN WITH GRIEF 鸿雁 向南方 飞过芦苇荡........................Wild Goose, FLYING south, BEYOND the reed marshes 天苍茫 雁何往 心中是北方家乡..............The sky IT IS BOUNDLESS, WHITHER GO?< 天苍茫 雁何往 心中是北方家乡..............IN YOUR HEART, TO THE NORTH, LIES YOUR HOME 鸿雁 北归还 带上我的思念.................Wild goose, FLYING NORTH, IN YOUR HEART TAKE ME WITH YOU 歌声远 琴声长....................................My voice FAR AWAY, BUT MY MUSIC, IT CARRIES 草原上春意暧.....................................ON THE PLAINS DOWN SPRING AND LOVE WILL AWAKEN 鸿雁 向苍天 天空有多遥远................Wild goose, NOW ASCENDING, UP TO THE HEAVENS 酒喝干 再斟满..................................Drink up, drink your fill 今夜不醉不还.....................................DRINK TIL THE LAST, TIL AT LAST YOU FLY HOME 酒喝干 再斟满...................................Drink up, drink your fill 今夜不醉不还~..................................DRINK TO THE LAST, TIL AT LAST YOU FLY HOME Quote
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