How to decline hugging politely

[skylee]

Ah that might explain it a bit. Thanks for the replies.

[renzhe]

This is very common in Russia and other Slavic countries.

Not in Croatia. I've also not seen it at all in Germany and would be shocked if I saw it in North Europe.

In southern Europe, contact is more common, but it will depend a lot on the relationship. You probably wouldn't hug a boss, but probably would a colleague you were on good terms with. I definitely don't hug or kiss the secretary here in Portugal, but I do it with my landlady.

I'm talking about business relationships. Between friends, it's different.

[Lu]

Some countries like Denmark and the Netherlands tend to hug a lot whilst others just kiss, some one kiss (UK - older generation), some two (eg French) and some three (Dutch) and obviously the handshake is common too.

Three kisses is the normal way of saying hello/goodbye to someone you know in Holland. For business contact, a handshake is normal. It's not really a hugging country, in my experience, except for family and sometimes friends, but that depends on the friends. I would find a hug between business partners out of the ordinary.

I also like abcdefg's suggestion to explain it as a cultural thing.

[anonymoose]

You're not the only one who feels this way. See this BBC report.

[jbradfor]

"But we have to protect people who don't want to be kissed. So we are suggesting that if people don't mind it, they announce it with a little paper message placed on their desk".

I laughed so much I almost snorted my coffee out of my nose.

I can just see putting a little piece of paper on my desk: "Please kiss me!" I'll have the EO people on me so fast I won't know what hit me.

[aspi]

studies show that hugging lowers blood pressure and increases hemoglobin in your body so why would you want to decline hugging in any situation? also those who witness this sacred ritual seem to get similar effects hugs to everyone!

[Degine]

I understand the original poster in that it seems a bit awkward in work places. rezaf indicates that even among friends a hug can be unexpected in China apparently. I guess for people which try it the first time, simply stepping back would be an option. They'll notice you're not used to it and get the message. If anything I assume it should make them think about possible differences in culture, so I doubt anyone would really get upset. But yeah, might be awkward for someone who has hugged you before.

While not on the topic of hugging in the workplace, just like salsab, I'm curious: When do Chinese people hug? How would you great a (best) friend if you haven't seen them for long? Is there a difference between men and woman and mixed?

I'm not in the habit of hugging people, but on the other hand for some people I feel only giving them a handshake after you haven't seen them for a long time seems a little cold when you have a very close relationship.

[tooironic]

I find this topic quite interesting. As a white, middle-class Aussie from a small town I grew up with a massive personal space, and when I started immersing myself in bigger, more multicultural cities, I had to learn how to be affectionate. Whilst Chinese people, as a rule of thumb, are not touchy people, there are definitely exceptions - this is especially the case with some Chinese guys, who spend most their time eating out of your lap when engaged in friendly conversation. Methinks there's a homosocial aspect playing out here. As for Koreans - don't even get me started. My Korean friends are just as touchy as my European friends, something which I found bizarre at first but got used to later. Now that I'm all grown up, I've come to like the odd hug, and in some cases, expected it. That being said, I wouldn't do that with someone I work with unless we were very close. I'd take the advice of one of the previous posters, who suggested playing the "cultural difference" card. I'm pretty sure that would work.