Politeness

[LyYenKhang]

Is it impolite to refer to oneself as wo3 when speaking with elders? What would you refer to yourself as? When speaking with elders, teachers, etc. What would you call them? Is ni3 impolite in these cases? What about nin2?

[skylee]

wo3 is ok. ni3 is also ok. nin2 is also ok, but not everyone uses it (it is very commonly used in Taiwan to show respect, but less so in other parts of the country, I think).

[Iriya]

Nin2 is pretty much only used when talking to somebody 20-30 years older than you. People may actually get surprised or even offended if you address them with nin2, as it's usually reserved for talking to elderly people. At least that's been my experience.

[Murray]

:blink: I've never heard of 我 being disrespectful in front of the elders...it seems like something that would be addressed very early if that was true; like when I was just beginning Chinese our laoshi explained that 小姐 could be seen as impolite in some cases immediately after it was introduced in the text.

With 您 it's been the same way, no one's ever got offended at me using it. But then again, I've never used the polite form with anyone I wouldn't call "sir" or "ma'am" in English. I've used it with taxi drivers, workers, shop owners, etc. some of which were around my age and never had any problems.

[aristotle1990]

People may actually get surprised or even offended if you address them with nin2, as it's usually reserved for talking to elderly people.

Offended? I dunno about that; I almost always refer to middle-aged Chinese people, especially teachers, as 您, and I don't think anyone has ever gotten offended.

Also, in contrast to what Skylee says, I find that northerners use it more often than southerners. As for me personally, I use 您 to show that we foreigners are not uncultured barbarians.

[rezaf]

I sometimes call myself小人 or鄙人. 本人 is also possible when I want to be formal.

[Iriya]

Offended? I dunno about that; I almost always refer to middle-aged Chinese people, especially teachers, as 您, and I don't think anyone has ever gotten offended.

That's fine. My point was that addressing a young person (even a teacher) with 您 will get you 我不老 or a similar response.

[skylee]

Really? I have the impression that 您 is quite widely used to address customers in the service industry.

[rezaf]

My point was that addressing a young person (even a teacher) with 您 will get you 我不老 or a similar response.

Who has told you that nin2 refers to age?

[xiaocai]

I think 您 is normally used to show the distance of the relationship, such as between customers and shop assistants like what skylee has mentioned. It is also prefer when addressing your superiors, someone who is much older than you or someone with high social status. But it may be appropriate to switch to 你 if the relationship becomes closer to a certain level. However, one has to be careful because this "certain level" can vary quite a lot, depending on the regional preference, personal preference, your and the other person's profession, etc.

[LyYenKhang]

So if you wanted to be polite you can just replace wo3 with xiao3ren2 or bi3ren2?

[skylee]

No, please don't. They are ok if you are with your friends and want to be funny. These terms were used in the past but not really used nowadays. Simply use wo3, just like you would use "I" in English instead of "your humble servant".

[rezaf]

That was mean of me to teach you that but anyway people used to use them to sound humble. I still use it on my father-in-law, just to sound funny.

[Lu]

小人 or 鄙人 can perhaps be used if you send a request to the president, in most other cases they would be ridiculous (or funny). For formal things you can use 本人. In most cases, 我 is just fine, I don't think it's ever impolite.

Also used sometimes to refer to oneself are 人家 (but that might be only for girls?) and 老子 (as someone just did in the story I'm translating), and no doubt there are a few more. These are more informal. But here too, 我 usually works just fine.

[anonymoose]

老子

Isn't that rather impolite?

[Hofmann]

Is it impolite to refer to oneself as wo3 when speaking with elders? What would you refer to yourself as? When speaking with elders, teachers, etc. What would you call them? Is ni3 impolite in these cases? What about nin2?

It depends on what kind of elders you're talking to. In my family, we speak Cantonese, and I refer to myself as "泓" (as my name is 郯梓泓) when speaking to elders. 我 is distant, perhaps arrogant. I call them whatever their relationship with me is e.g. 爸 (father), 嬤 (paternal grandmother), etc. 你 is distant, if not impolite. I've notice that this is not the case with many Cantonese-speaking families. 您 is not used in Cantonese.