how to decipher a chinese smile

[umber]

two events have made me wonder when a Chinese person smiles at me, one just before she spiked my drink and tried to steal my belongings, (mind you this is someone i thought i knewand had "known" for about a year) and another time when another Chinese girl smiled at me when i had just caught her making up stories about me , i mean as far as i know a smile means niceness no ?

[frozenmyth]

Yeah, that kind of human behavior sucks.

So many people trying to pretend to be nice or friendly, and they think they are smarter cus they have ulterior motives and can still put on a smily face!

From my own personal experience that kind of behavior is not peculiar to Chinese though. Some people may take advantages of a new comer or someone who is not familiar with the environment.

Chinese do that to other Chinese who are not locals to where they travel to as well---according to what I heard in many cases.

For example, many people from Taiwan were duped when they travelled to mainland China or even Hong Kong. More expensive prices to pay, lost luggages, etc.

Again, that kind of behavior does not come from Chinese only.

When I was in Europe I encountered similiar situation too cus I was not familiar with the new environment and language at the time.

Yeah, China has 1/5 of the global population so statistically and theoretically speaking it's easy to run into crappy ones.

Keep in mind though, there is plenty of good hearted ones too. It goes both ways. Hope you get to meet more sincere and good Chinese.

A lot of time what many Westerners consider the quite and seemingly less outgoing Orientals are actually the good ones. Once accepted they will be real friends regardless of cultural and ethnic backgrounds. Keep away from those who tried to take advantages of you. It's really low for anyone to take advantages of people who are unfamiliar with the environment. That's sad, but we all learn right?

[Quest]

A lot of time what many Westerners consider the quite and seemingly less outgoing Orientals are actually the good ones.

the use of "Orientals" is a bit offensive here...

[frozenmyth]

That's interesting.

Please explain why is Oriental offensive.

By the way, we sure seem to have a few different ways of thinking, and I am interested in learning more about you. I think you are interested in learning more about my mentality too. Thanks for joining my thinkings in different sections.

To my knowledge, Oriental is a word, term, or whatever one likes to be politically correct, to describe (label, refer, or else) ethnic Chinese, Japanese, and Korean mainly.

I know that many people with southwest Asian origin, places such as Indonesia, Malaysia, Philippines, maybe more, may not like to be described as Orientals.

[Quest]

You missed the word "here", meaning in that sentence above. I cannot explain why it is offensive, but it offended me.

[yonglan]

FrozenMyth, for reasons unknown to me the word "Oriental" is politically incorrect in the US (don't know if it is in other English speaking countries). There's no logical reason for this since the word has always been used as a general adjective for both people and things. Now the lexicographically false but prevalent claim is that the term Oriental should only be used for things (eg 'Oriental rug' for Persian rug). It's silly, I know. Anyway, if you're Chinese, you can use it with little worry of complaint. Great guns to you for doing so, if you like. It's a great word, that has no pejorative history and so should live on.

[yonglan]

another time when another Chinese girl smiled at me when i had just caught her making up stories about me

Throughout East Asia there is a greater tendency to laugh in unpleasantly awkward situations. Westerners tend to laugh in awkward situations, but generaly not if the situation is unpleasant, though sometimes they do with people they know well. It's just a cultural thing. For example if that woman had accidentally poked you in the eye, she might laugh. (She might not.)

The drink question is just a worldwide case of a crook -- unless she was trying to slip an aphrodisiac in your drink . . .

[seagate]

dear umber, I am very curious too about the difference between 'Chinese smile' and 'non-Chinese smile', and also 'Chinese cry' and 'non-Chinese cry', 'Chinese sneeze' and 'non-Chinese sneeze'?

[umber]

Dear Seagate

Do you smile at someone when you are going to steal from them ?

Im presently in Singapore where the majority of peeps are Chinese and they are forever looking down on mainland Chinese and complaining about them, but i digress.... my point is the Chinese here are always smiling but more half the time there is something sinister behind the smile i'm heading for China soon and that worries me.

[umber]

i mean should act accordingly to your emotions if you are unhappy or upset with someone, otherwise would'nt be hypocrisy? that's what i meant. i know that it is a culture thing but it does not necessarily apply to all peeps but here in Singapore it is usually the Chinese educated peeps who do that more often than not

[CBC]

I agree with Yonglan that in East Asia, smile is used to ease the tension between people in unpleasantly awkward situation.

I'm from mainland and I would defend this behavior: it is not hypocritic.

Direct conflict with others might be the last thing that people are willing to face.

To me it is because of ideology differences that in East Asia, the relationship between people is particuarly emphasized, while western culture might encourage the expression of one's personal feelings.

[CBC]

I have experienced this kind of misunderstanding before.

I rememer my foreign teacher was criticising us in class about our poor performance in class and the last exam. She looked quite shocked when seeing the smile in our face. She said "Why do you smile ? !"

She thought we should have lowered our head and expected guilty looking in our face. There were some who did lower heads, but a lot smiled, trying to rebuild the relation between the teacher and the students. Here this Chinese smile, if you like, means: OH, sorry, we know how wrong and rediculous we were! I have undersood quite well now!

[vinhlong]

I agree with CBC here, it's not hypocritic. A lot of expressions have different meanings across different cultures. Not just East and West, but also North and South.

I remember this Indonesian guy who was training kungfu. Everytime his training partner hit him, he just smiled. Even if he hit him quite hard, he smiled, only afterwards he found out that the smile was a reaction to discomfort, and not because it was ok...