Comrade Yixian Posted December 9, 2004 at 05:41 PM Report Posted December 9, 2004 at 05:41 PM I thought this might be a nice adition to the Society forum, but beware, I imagine there will be a high amount of giggly teen talk, not least from myself What are the differences in relationships between Asian and Western couples? In terms of speed and intimacy etc., how do they differ? I know for one it can be very hard to approach a girl of a different culture or race, in my case Chinese, because you can't help but think there may be some kind of misunderstanding that would balls the whole thing up This is obviously damn irritating for me as someone that dreams of an inter-cultual relationship and finds Chinese girls ridiculously attractive. Someone put me out of my misery before my hormones take over ;)
marcopolo79 Posted December 9, 2004 at 06:01 PM Report Posted December 9, 2004 at 06:01 PM This is a sweeping generalization, and I'm probably gonna take a lot of flak for this, but IMHO, Asian girls tend to be a lot more emotionally needy and dependent than any femle raised in the West.
xuechengfeng Posted December 9, 2004 at 07:00 PM Report Posted December 9, 2004 at 07:00 PM I wouldn't necessarily call it a sweeping generalization. I don't know enough to say anything about Chinese girls, but I would agree that generally, Western women, or more specificially, American women are brought up with an independent attitude. With the stress of Chinese familial ties, you could probably also make the case for Chinese women being dependent.
Comrade Yixian Posted December 9, 2004 at 07:43 PM Author Report Posted December 9, 2004 at 07:43 PM How about if they moved to the West, is it something that is brought on by being surrounded by the culture? Is it given to them by family relationships? Are Chinese families in the West big on teaching their children to value theirheritage and culture like, for example, many British Asian (South Asian) families do?
CookieFactory Posted December 10, 2004 at 02:42 AM Report Posted December 10, 2004 at 02:42 AM are chinese girls (sweeping generalization) more loyal?
roddy Posted December 10, 2004 at 02:54 AM Report Posted December 10, 2004 at 02:54 AM Sweeping answer 1: Yes Sweeping answer 2: No What I find most amusing about threads like this is that you very rarely find any Chinese girls participating, despite the fact there are plenty signed up . . . Roddy
geraldc Posted December 10, 2004 at 02:56 AM Report Posted December 10, 2004 at 02:56 AM When the Chinese make a sweeping assumption about the language skills of westerners and speak to them in English, some people on the board call it racism...so making sweeping statements about the fidelity of chinese females is ?...... I would however hazard a guess that being a rabid Marxist doesn't endear you to many females in this day and age.
yonglan Posted December 10, 2004 at 03:30 AM Report Posted December 10, 2004 at 03:30 AM What I find most amusing about threads like this is that you very rarely find any Chinese girls participating, despite the fact there are plenty signed up . . . What would surprise me would be if they were not reading When the Chinese make a sweeping assumption about the language skills of westerners and speak to them in English, some people on the board call it racism...so making sweeping statements about the fidelity of chinese females is ?...... I can't speak to every such thread or poster, but it seems there have been two issues. One is the difference between talking in general about groups as opposed to assuming an individual necessarily will have all or certain characteristics of the group to which s/he belongs. For example, if one wants to say that in his/her experience few Westerners bother to learn Chinese, fine. But if one then assumes that Mr. Xyz (a Westerner) doesn't speak Chinese based solely on his being a round-eye, that's a different story. The other -- which has really been discussed ad nauseum, I realize -- is when a Chinese speaker insists on speaking English to a non-Chinese who speaks at least some Chinese, and wants to speak Chinese, when they are both in a Chinese speaking country.
PollyWaffle Posted December 10, 2004 at 05:44 AM Report Posted December 10, 2004 at 05:44 AM i'd love to know how many guys learn chinese because they like chinese girls? isn't this a very long way about getting an asian girlfriend? or is there more to it?
frozenmyth Posted December 10, 2004 at 06:33 AM Report Posted December 10, 2004 at 06:33 AM I am curious about how common is it among Western males to have romantic imagination of getting a Westernized Chinese woman??? Chinese woman physically but Westernized mentality. Many ABC, America Borned Chinese, or those ethnic Chinese who moved young tend to only appreciate Westernized Chinese women, e.g--Lucy Lu as an e.g. cus a movie star is more widely known. She does speak Chinese and has some Chinese cultural knowledge though. Many ABCs do not apprecaite the non-Westernized Chinese women. Oh, yeah. Opposite to PollyWaffle's message. I've never heard of non-Chinese females learning Chinese cus of Chinese guys. I do have a good English friend who learned Chinese cus she thought she'd probably never use that. Interesting persepctive. Comrade, to answer your question.............I suggest you try to learn if your target is a Westernized woman or non-Westernized woman. It will play a major role in your adventure. Most people know that most Chinese women are more conservative comparing with Western women. Therefore, they tend to go slower and more implicit---can't put in words that well. You will need to learn that yourself with patience, if you are dealing with a non-Westernized Chinese woman. I have a very good American friend who likes Asian women too. Some Asian women, not Chinese, thought he had Yellow Fever cus the woman thought my friend only liked her cus she was Asian. You know, some of those Asians think many Caucasians have fantasies about Asian women. On the other hand, some Asian, I know personally some Chinese women, may dig White guys for some reasons. Ask many people who have been to Taiwan, both Chinese and Westerners, and they can attest that. Sorry, if a non-Westernized Chinese woman, just be polite, relaxed, and foster a willing to help attitude then go. Don't know your style and what you are like as a person so can't be more clearly. Keep another point in mind though, if you are dealing with a Chinese from the mainland through the Western eyes you will be less likely to score, oops, succeed. Good luck man.
roddy Posted December 10, 2004 at 07:52 AM Report Posted December 10, 2004 at 07:52 AM i'd love to know how many guys learn chinese because they like chinese girls? Bokane.org has the definitive answer to this "So what's your major?""Chinese. Well, Asian Studies, with a concentration in Chinese." "Oh, you like Asian chicks, huh?" I usually replied by asking the other person's major. "Pre-med? So you're into cadavers?" I mean, look, someone majoring in, say, Russian literature doesn't get knowing looks, isn't asked if he's got a thing for European girls. Someone majoring in English isn't accused of having a thing for ladies with bad teeth. Roddy
frozenmyth Posted December 10, 2004 at 08:18 AM Report Posted December 10, 2004 at 08:18 AM Yeah, the cultural difference. What Chinese find funny Westerners might not and vice versa. One article for that kind of stuffs hum Roddy. "The whole "sense of humour" thing was a big point; sarcasm flat-out doesn't work in China, and judging from a lot of things"----Yeah, Sarcasm literally is sarcasm most of the time. Western chicks seem to dig that a lot as a sense of humor. Many Chinese women don't and may find that kind of humor inappropraite or rude. I have heard less of Chinese women listing great sense of humor as a quality they seek, in comparison, but rather sincerity, honesty, kindness, and true friend-related qualities, and those kinds of stuffs. Maybe Chinese are just too serious and not funny--fit the stereotype??? Just joking. People are different. Sarcasm means sarcasm in China rather than "witty"in the U.S.
Comrade Yixian Posted December 10, 2004 at 08:57 AM Author Report Posted December 10, 2004 at 08:57 AM Well, loads on interesting comments. However! geraldc, you clearly have absolutely no knowlege of me or my life so in your attempts to assert some kind of social dominance for what I can only imagine is a pathetic attempt to bump up your self-esteem, your just making yourself look stupid. I follow Marxist theory, I don't walk around with a bloody beret chanting slogans or anything. If you really must know in a society where subtle racism and homophobia are widepread, many people appreciate the fact that I am strongly neither of these things. I'm not a god damn authoritarian you know, I'm closer to a hippy, without a drug addiction.
geraldc Posted December 10, 2004 at 10:08 AM Report Posted December 10, 2004 at 10:08 AM However! geraldc, you clearly have absolutely no knowlege of me or my life so in your attempts to assert some kind of social dominance for what I can only imagine is a pathetic attempt to bump up your self-esteem, your just making yourself look stupid. Hey, calm down...it's just a joke and a comment on the Chinese language. Nowadays when you hear the Chinese term for comrade/同志 it's generally used as a slang term for gay.
owen Posted December 10, 2004 at 10:35 AM Report Posted December 10, 2004 at 10:35 AM When the Chinese make a sweeping assumption about the language skills of westerners and speak to them in English, some people on the board call it racism...so making sweeping statements about the fidelity of chinese females is ?...... difference is in the acting on generalizations blah blah blah. I am currently dating a Chinese girl for the first time (only started a couple months ago). She is pretty dependant on my presence. In what I consider a pretty unhealthy way. She regards it as absolutley necessary for us to eat together and then when we sit down to eat she is completely uncommunicative and i dare say even a bit bitchy. It's really wierd and I've spoken to her about it and she really can't understand when i explain that with my friends, unless we intend to speak to each other, we don't see much reason in accopanying someone to eat.I've noticed it with Chinese friends too when sometimes they just assume that you will all go do something together whatever your personal mood might be. Another example is the other night she was watching TV and i said i was going out and she strongly objected despite the fact that i had to tell her thrice that i was going out so engrossed in the television show was she. She really thought it important that we be in the same room though competely ignoring each other. So far that is the most strikingly different aspect of dating a chinese girl. There are some others but i hate this internet cafe (as i do most of them in China). BTW.. I was just giving my example as relevant food for thought. Not trying to draw any conclusions about 'Chinese girls'.
umber Posted December 10, 2004 at 11:42 AM Report Posted December 10, 2004 at 11:42 AM hi Cookie Factory In answer to your question, yes and no. Chinese girls here (Singapore) tend to be very meterialistic, there's a saying here, by the chinese men " A Chinese would rather be driving a Mercedes and crying than taking a bus and being happy" So if you can provide well to your Chinese girlfriend/wife then chances are she will be loyal but then again there is another saying , " If you were to ask a girl of any race how much (money) is enough, they can give you an amount off the top of their head except a Chinese girl, because its never enough ". But i do have many Chinese girlfriends who true enough are meterialistic but though they ask for alot there comes to a point where they are fairly satisfied. I hope this somehow helps.
umber Posted December 10, 2004 at 11:51 AM Report Posted December 10, 2004 at 11:51 AM oh and they don't call it meterialisic here its being referred to as realistic or pracical, and before anybody calls me racist i too am half Chinese it's just that the other half of me takes over sometimes
PollyWaffle Posted December 10, 2004 at 01:38 PM Report Posted December 10, 2004 at 01:38 PM Bokane.org has the definitive answer to this yes, i have read this before & it's really cool until he ends up with a chinese grrrl... it's not just other westerners who think we study chinese cos we want a chinese girl, the chinese also think this... i am sick of being asked 'do u like chinese girls?'... & sick of answering "yes i do, but which country doesn't have pretty girls??? in fact, if i was gonna learn a language to get a woman i would be studying spanish" i didn't chose this language, it just happened by accident, & now i am addicted... but comments like This is obviously damn irritating for me as someone that dreams of an inter-cultual relationship and finds Chinese girls ridiculously attractive. make me wonder about other people's motives in learning chinese... just seems like an exhausting way to find a wife is all...
yonglan Posted December 10, 2004 at 02:54 PM Report Posted December 10, 2004 at 02:54 PM I certainly didn't learn Chinese for the women, for the many reasons listed above. That is a minor motivating influence for my learning Japanese, though not the cause. But to be honest, I do want to learn Latin to pick up some nuns . . . Absolutely 100% of the Chinese girls I've talked to say humor is a very important quality for a man to have, same as their sisters in the West. And, when I show a Chinese speaker the dumb jokes in Chinese joke books, they always say they're dumb. Of course, someone must find these jokes funny; otherwise Roddy is keeping the publishers afloat on this genre. Umber, rather than making my own guess translations, would you care to share your sayings with us in Chinese characters? Thanks. are chinese girls (sweeping generalization) more loyal? According to recent news articles, Chinese men getting DNA paternity tests for their kids are finding that 1 in 5 are not theirs! By far the highest in the world. I've read before that for the Swiss it's about 2-3% (lowest) and for inner city America it's over 10% (previous highest). Now, I'm not sure if any of these numbers reflect proper, controlled studies, so . . .
CookieFactory Posted December 10, 2004 at 04:45 PM Report Posted December 10, 2004 at 04:45 PM Interesting, I searched the web for such studies and found one. However I don't think that the 20% can be applied to all couples since it's not a random sample. The inherent bias is that these men who get these tests done do so because they suspect their wives of infidelity.
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